>****** 1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just sod off and leave me alone.
>
>****** 2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tyre.
>
>****** 3. The darkest hour is just before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbour's milk, that's the time to do it.
>
>****** 4. Sex is like air. It's not important until you aren't getting any.
>
>****** 5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
>
>****** 6. No one is listening until you break wind.
>
>****** 7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
>
>****** 8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
>
>****** 9. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.
>
>****** 10. Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
>
>****** 11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
>
>****** 12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
>
>****** 13. If you lend someone $5 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
>
>****** 14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
>
>****** 15. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windscreen.
>
>****** 16. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
>
>****** 17. Good judgement comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgement.
>
>****** 18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
>
>****** 19. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
>
>****** 20. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
>
>****** 21. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
>
>****** 22. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
>
>****** 23. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
>
>****** 24. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
>
>****** 25. We are born naked, wet, and hungry, and get slapped on the backside ... then things get worse.
>
>****** 2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tyre.
>
>****** 3. The darkest hour is just before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbour's milk, that's the time to do it.
>
>****** 4. Sex is like air. It's not important until you aren't getting any.
>
>****** 5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
>
>****** 6. No one is listening until you break wind.
>
>****** 7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
>
>****** 8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
>
>****** 9. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.
>
>****** 10. Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
>
>****** 11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
>
>****** 12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
>
>****** 13. If you lend someone $5 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
>
>****** 14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
>
>****** 15. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windscreen.
>
>****** 16. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
>
>****** 17. Good judgement comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgement.
>
>****** 18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
>
>****** 19. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
>
>****** 20. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
>
>****** 21. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
>
>****** 22. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
>
>****** 23. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
>
>****** 24. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
>
>****** 25. We are born naked, wet, and hungry, and get slapped on the backside ... then things get worse.
I'm still laughing at that one.
