I do pray to Jesus for any type of help a lot. I know it takes time but when there doesn't seem to be a response, that is where the hopelessness creeps back in.
I do Pray to Jesus all the time. I know its about patience and things but when you are going through it with improvement over time, that is where the hopelessness creeps back in. I will continue to pray though.
Jesus talks through life in truth, but the problem so very often is that our life is not in His truth but captive in satan's lies instead, yet not until we follow the truth of God's word will we meet Jesus, it is as simple as that. I also waited for many years, but He wouldn't come, yet when I 'accidentally' dwelt in the truth of His Word, I found Him, or rather He found me, and I haven't looked back since and it is great to know Him so personally and closely as The Word of God brings Him to us.
The truth is I found Jesus in my suffering self. In me that was 'the one' I had hated and despised when I walked in sin. The one in myself I wanted to get rid of because I didn't like what I saw. 'The one' I crucified in exchange for the rebel and desperado I became walking in satan's, my own and the world's/religion's lies.
Finding Jesus is giving a cup of water to the beggars, the homeless, the addicts, the prostitutes, the imprisoned and those destined to die, even within your own inner reality, not just on the streets. Though on the city streets did I learn what Jesus meant when He said the harvest is plentiful but the workers are few, and those invited refuse to come, so those not invited will enter the Feast. The truth is that finding Jesus is very personal and not until the religious and worldly teachings within us have perished will we see the light of Day - our Lord Jesus arising on the clouds of Heaven. This is fist of all a spiritual experience and not just a physical one as so many religious teachings have us believe down here. (See John 14 for example.)
So if you pray to Jesus and He doesn't come to comfort and help you then the Jesus you are praying to is either not true Jesus, or someone or something is keeping you from seeing/meeting Him, for Jesus always comes soon when we call upon Him, He doesn't delay ever. Just as is written in His Word.
So please consider carefully what inside of your inner reality is keeping you from setting your eyes on the Son of God. Are it not the lies of your depression which you have been following all this time and have brought you with one foot in the grave? Please be aware that the word of God warns us that many anti-Christs will come but that we can recognize them by their fruit - for do we pick grapes from thistles, or figs from thorn bushes - neither does praying to God without hearing, help or comfort bring us to Christ, rather following such a path will destroy us in our faith for God never seems to answer us making our misery worse not better, especially when we need Him so badly.
To find Christ we have to find/meet the living word of God within our own hearts and minds. The Word of God teaching us, helping us, comforting us, saving us, and keeping us from harm no matter how bad our physical, mental or spiritual reality might become - time and again!!! This can only happen when we firstly firmly believe what is written in God's word, and secondly follow His truth in our lives, learning to love truthfully just as He does. Wherever I have found people doing that the comfort of God's presence has been with them even under the worst circumstances imaginable.
So please understand that believing lies about God, yourself or your neighbour will not bring Christ, no matter how much you pray to God for salvation. The very images the lies you believe about God, yourself and your neighbour have set up within your heart and mind will keep you from having true communion with Him - like believing that killing yourself is a truthful solution to your suffering will never bring Christ but keep Him away from you. Honest my dear brother not until the abomination which causes desolation is revealed within will Christ come to save you. (Matthew 24)
When I realized that I had been serving my guilty conscience as god, always heeding the accuser as a servant of God and not the Gospel of forgiveness of sins through the blood of The Lamb, not walking under the umbrella of God's grace over me believing that. After I realized that it didn't take long for the dragon and the harlot on his back to be revealed right within my heart and mind. Neither did it take long after that for the son of lawlessness to claim godhead - instead of love for God and neighbour - and celebrate grace as an excuse to continue in sin and the Day of Christ's revealing right within my own inner dwelling place is about to take place.
It has to do with faith in God's loving truth and love for God and neighbour dear brother, when you do that then the living word will certainly come and rescue you from your times of distress time and again.
So please brother don't just pray for Jesus to come and then accept that He doesn't and continue in your suffering alone and forsaken entertaining murderous thoughts and desires instead. Rather endeavour to follow the truth of God's Word and so meet Him along the way and live. When you see that God's word is becoming true within you then you know that you have bumped into His truth and then you will soon be able to drink from the living waters that flow from Him. Honestly true!
He is a great God, very faithful, unbelievable loving, and truer than true in my heart. It is because of this that I finally after all these years in the desert, have arrived in the promised land and enjoy His loving truth to comfort me - I was at the end of my forties before that happened, so please don't give up brother. Neither just pray and wait, but also work/endeavour to enter that narrow gate and learn to love God and neighbour, as well as yourself because God does. Please, please brother dump any thoughts about killing yourself, such are very hot potatoes for Scripture doesn't give you or anyone else permission to do that. Even Job though he longed to die, and Westerns would quickly say God had done him an injustice, so that Job could legitimately charge God with wrong, repented in dust and ashes when he met up with God's truth. Please ponder on that my friend, especially the last 3 or 4 chapters of that bible book are very revealing when you consider them in the light of your suffering and crippling depression and the forces within you who are causing all that and why.
Peace and many blessings your way.
This Word is one of the prophecies Jesus will bring about within your heart if you dare to follow His truth and cut with the lies of satan.
Isaiah 61
The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
because the Lord has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the Lord
for the display of his splendor.
They will rebuild the ancient ruins
and restore the places long devastated;
they will renew the ruined cities
that have been devastated for generations.
Strangers will shepherd your flocks;
foreigners will work your fields and vineyards.
And you will be called priests of the Lord,
you will be named ministers of our God.
You will feed on the wealth of nations,
and in their riches you will boast.
Instead of your shame
you will receive a double portion,
and instead of disgrace
you will rejoice in your inheritance.
And so you will inherit a double portion in your land,
and everlasting joy will be yours.
“For I, the Lord, love justice;
I hate robbery and wrongdoing.
In my faithfulness I will reward my people
and make an everlasting covenant with them.
Their descendants will be known among the nations
and their offspring among the peoples.
All who see them will acknowledge
that they are a people the Lord has blessed.”
I delight greatly in the Lord;
my soul rejoices in my God.
For he has clothed me with garments of salvation
and arrayed me in a robe of his righteousness,
as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest,
and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.
For as the soil makes the sprout come up
and a garden causes seeds to grow,
so the Sovereign Lord will make righteousness
and praise spring up before all nations.
