Pastor marrying divorcees?

[Lee]

Should a pastor marry a nonbeliever who is divorced?

Here is a senerio:

Either both or one person within the relationship is a divorcee and aren't Christians either. They come to ask you as a pastor to marry them. What is your view on a biblical stand?

Should a pastor marry a believer who is a divorced?

Here is a senerio:

Both the Christian wife and unbelieving husband are divorced, but are trying to reconcile. The husband lives an adulterous life by fooling around with other women. The wife finally makes the decision that he is not going to reconciled with her, so she leaves the relationship. Now later on she finds someone who is godly and loves her. She wants to marry him and comes to you as a pastor to marry them. Is it biblical to marry them in this case senerio?

*I am a young pastor. This are hard-hitting issues that I am dealing with. I am not looking for a debate, but a constructive advice on a biblical standard of what the Word of God teaches to do in these senerios.

 

[HuntingMan]

Should a pastor marry a nonbeliever who is divorced?

Here is a senerio:

Either both or one person within the relationship is a divorcee and aren't Christians either. They come to ask you as a pastor to marry them. What is your view on a biblical stand?

Should a pastor marry a believer who is a divorced?

Here is a senerio:

Both the Christian wife and unbelieving husband are divorced, but are trying to reconcile. The husband lives an adulterous life by fooling around with other women. The wife finally makes the decision that he is not going to reconciled with her, so she leaves the relationship. Now later on she finds someone who is godly and loves her. She wants to marry him and comes to you as a pastor to marry them. Is it biblical to marry them in this case senerio?

*I am a young pastor. This are hard-hitting issues that I am dealing with. I am not looking for a debate, but a constructive advice on a biblical standard of what the Word of God teaches to do in these senerios.

Well, firstly THIS forum isnt the proper one for this discussion. This forum is for discussing our remarriages, not whether its allowed or ethical or lawful for not.
If you want to create this thread in the ethics forum Id be more than happy to respond there.

 

[Lee]

Sorry for the posting on the wrong forum. Thanks to the mod who move the thread here. I am still looking for an answer to the questions above.

 

[stafy]

Dear Lee, I'm confussed you say one is not a believer and then say wife is a believer who wants to marry a godly man. How can one be a godly man and yet not a believer? Secondly adultry is the only biblical reason given by where one can leave there partner. I'm not sure about the remarry bit. At the end of the day one needs to follow the conviction of the Holy Spirit in your heart and walk by faith even if you get it wrong, God will correct and teach you through your mistakes IF YOU WALK BY FAITH.

 

[Spiritsong]

Hi Lee,

I see it's been a little while since this thread has had any action... I'm hoping you got some answers.

I'd like to direct you to a great web site that may help answer your questions... I'll PM you with the addy.

I appreciate your heart to do the biblical thing for your congregation members. God bless you!

 

[Autumnleaf]

Should a pastor marry a nonbeliever who is divorced?

Here is a senerio:

Either both or one person within the relationship is a divorcee and aren't Christians either. They come to ask you as a pastor to marry them. What is your view on a biblical stand?

No.

Should a pastor marry a believer who is a divorced?

Here is a senerio:

Both the Christian wife and unbelieving husband are divorced, but are trying to reconcile. The husband lives an adulterous life by fooling around with other women. The wife finally makes the decision that he is not going to reconciled with her, so she leaves the relationship. Now later on she finds someone who is godly and loves her. She wants to marry him and comes to you as a pastor to marry them. Is it biblical to marry them in this case senerio?

*I am a young pastor. This are hard-hitting issues that I am dealing with. I am not looking for a debate, but a constructive advice on a biblical standard of what the Word of God teaches to do in these senerios.

No.

You did study about this stuff prior to becoming a pastor, didn't you? The only way you can marry these people according to the Bible is if you take a fresh sharpie to a few pages of the good book. That doesn't stop lots of Pastors from doing it though.

 

[Sadpenguin]

No.



No.

You did study about this stuff prior to becoming a pastor, didn't you? The only way you can marry these people according to the Bible is if you take a fresh sharpie to a few pages of the good book. That doesn't stop lots of Pastors from doing it though.

I'm confused on your second "No."
Matthew 19:8Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery."
I read that as a somewhat conditional statement - an if/then if you will. According to those verses, is it technically not her right to find someone else if he committed adultery (We're assuming the story from the post is accurate, as well) and it is only adultery in the second marriage when the first marriage's divorce was for reasons other than infidelity? I'm also assuming that gender is not stepping in the way here as well.

 

[dayhiker]

I think a pastor can marry couples in both of the orginal positions stated.

dayhiker

 

[Sadpenguin]

I think a pastor can marry couples in both of the orginal positions stated.

dayhiker

I guess it's just a matter of whether you think marrying a nonbeliever falls more towards the sin side, or more towards the just-a-poor-decision side. Also, one could ask, should a pastor marry two nonbelievers?

 

[derosa]

I guess it's just a matter of whether you think marrying a nonbeliever falls more towards the sin side, or more towards the just-a-poor-decision side. Also, one could ask, should a pastor marry two nonbelievers?

I would not consider a believer marrying a nonbeliever to be a sin, where is the sin in a loving relationship and it may offer the nonbeliever insight into faith that they may otherwise be lacking.

As to should a pastor marry 2 nonbelievers? They would need a seriously good reason for being married in a christian ceremony for me to do it. In all likelyhood they should be sent packing to justice cause "it's what my mother always wanted" isn't a good enough reason.

 

[djsterf]

My convictions on the matter --

(1) I would marry a believer to another believer gladly and make the service a major praise to God.
(2) I would marry a nonbeliever to another nonbeliever and make the service evangelistic and make God's intent of marriage known (from Genesis 2, Ephesians 5, 1 Corinthians 7, etc., and I would touch on Matthew 5 and Matthew 19 in counseling sessions pretty heavily)

but...

(3) I would not marry a believer to a nonbeliever -- it's warned against strongly in Scripture. 1 Corinthians 7 speaks against being unequally yoked. In the first session of premarital counseling, ask about their belief status, and if one or both are not believers, evangelize to them!

You have to watch out for people converting just to marry someone else, as well. Pray for wisdom before everything!

God bless, hope that helps.

 

[heavb30]

Pray foe the answers.

 

[TimRout]

As trying as it can be, there is great biblical difficulty in conducting the marriage of divorced persons. Nevertheless, given your scenario, I would seek to win them to Christ first. Should they come to faith, I might then consider doing their wedding, given that new life in Christ eradicates all former sins...including divorce.

That said, I am exceedingly slow to marry Christians when one or both have been divorced.