Hi everyone, let me just say im really happy to see so many believers, people who care about others here! This is my first post here, ive just discovered this forum 
ok so i do apologize for my long post, i have a tendency to explain a lot of stuff just so there are no misunderstandings. though sometimes its exactly whats needed, i still have to work on that.
I have a prayer request, actually more than just 1 but at the moment im really getting worried about this one. I am a 21 year old girl, and i was raised in a Christian family. I am sooo thankful that God made His presence known to me my entire life, even when i went completely off the path to salvation. no matter what i was doing, i was thinking about God, but i now know i didn't want Him to lead me, i just wanted to escape hell. and now God has shown me my mistakes shown me how much i need Him and a true relationship. that i have to KNOW Him, not just do right. its a long story how and i would love to post and share how God changed me and is changing me every day, but i guess this isn't the right topic subforum Praise be to our Father!
so my request is this. when i was around 16 i got into a relationship with a guy, long story how the devil tried to ruin my life so i wouldn't do what God wants me to do. God freed me from that, but when i was about 17 i started smoking because i was influenced by this guy. i was with him for 4 years, and i smoked all of that time except for about 5 months all together in between, because i quit a couple times. after i broke it off, it was still a very hard battle to quit smoking, though i wanted to sooo badly. and then God showed me why i was doing it. I was looking to the cigarettes for comfort instead of to Him. i asked Him to change my heart instead of just the smoking, and He did. and i dont want to smoke anymore, i have had a couple times when i was tempted and i gave in and had a cigarette, but not many. and not in a few months now. i am free and praise God! but now heres the problem.
I already have many medical issues, i could spend a long time explaining all my health problems, basically, its hard for me to even write this, because my hands are cramping, hurting, its hard for me to do a lot of things. i try not tolet it get to me and im fine. though i recently found out why itmight be so, almost all of my health problems can be traced back to when i was very small child, some reason why my circulation is bad. not positive about this but its an idea my mom had just last week. im going to the doctor tomorrow for tests and things, since after reading about it, turns out if untreated you can get strokes and heart attacks, and if i have had it almost all my life, then im worried. i was ok with just having pain and cramps and discomfort, i thought who am i to demand to be comfortable all the time. but now seems there are more serious risks. so about a month ago, or maybe 2, i notced a lump on the roof of my mouth. and it hasnt gone away. so i read about it and it was good news from the internet, that its probably nothing, almost never is, that at my age and female, veeery small chance of getting oral cancer. so i wasnt worried. then about a week ago i noticed another lump and the first one still hasnt gone away. so i got more worried. read up, and again nothing harmful. then, i got about maybe 30 or so veeery tiny like grain of sand tiny bumps on the corner of my upper lip and they sting a little bit when going over them with my tongue. so that turns out to also be a symptom. so then i got more worried. also, i have had a problem with my jaw for about 3-5 years now, cant even remember. every time i open it, it cracks on one side. like a popping noise. used to be only when like yawning widely. now even chewing food with a closed mouth makes it happen. and, in the past couple weeks, ive had a stiff kind of feeling in my jaw when opening and closing my mouth. and its the same type of stiff feeling i get in my hands and feet and fingers when i use them. so it might be that just spread to my jaw too, but then again, that stiffness in the jaw is also a symptom of oral cancer.
so what im asking is that u would pray about this, that i dont have cancer. because i dont want it, of course, if it is the consequence of the mistakes i made when i was younger, i will endure it, but, i ask, as Jesus asked, in Matthew 26:39, "My Father, if it is possible, let this cup of suffering be taken away from me. yet i want your will, not mine." if me having cancer and maybe leaving this earth early, lead others to Him, and there is no other way, let it be done bu i ask that you pray for God to give me the strength and faith to endure it and to have faith and no fear in death for Jesus had no fear. He knew He would be with his Father! i sometimes have my doubts about me being accepted, because it seems just so unreal, to be accepted because He loves us. because we believe. i know its true and WOW, what grace!!! just sometimes its hard to understand, to believe. and i eep thinking i have to do so much, so much work, then i realise, He tells me, that i dont have to do the work and stuff, to get to Him, but i do it because i want to, because its in my heart to praise and glorify God! and i feel so bad sometimes about bad things ive done that i dont want, for not telling someone about Jesus when i had the chance, for wasting time doing things that dont work for the good of God.
so yeah, i ask that you please pray that it all turns out ok, that i domt have cancer. that if i do that He heals me, and if not, then to give me strength and faith! in any case i want this situation to glorify Him! i will be devastated if i find out that i have not got a long time to live here, and somehow im already getting myself ready for it because i know ive sinned, i smoked for the longest time and i do deserve to be punished. i dont deserve to be saved from this. but by Gods grace, i pray that he save me from it, that i dont have the cancer. only by His grace we breathe every moment! even now in my mind getting ready for the worst news in the situation, heaven and hell are becoming more real to me, and i feel God pulling me to life completely for Him. not wasting any time in anything like computer games, or anything. its not like we cant play them, we have the freedom in Christ to have entertainment, but i feel God pulling me to do so much more. and i want to live that out. so i guess im also asking for you to pray for me to have the strength to spend all my time doing Gods work, though its hard since im alone with my parents in a different country, and i have no friends here, i do have a church i go to but no missional stuff, no community with the church that would actually be a relationship through Christ. i long for that soo much! i want to BE the church, and i try but its hard to be the church, alone! my parents are in bad situations themselves. another long story, praying for them sooo much too! so its hard to think of stuff to do for God, in my situation. i ask God everyday to show me. and sometimes i feel the answer and i do whatever i can through Him, i just truly truly want to do more for Him, after all, He did soooo much for us! im even feeling a but guilty for asking for these prayers, that there are so many people suffering way more so many people who dont even know God and i pray for them, i want so bad that they know Him! but i do need prayer, everyone does, im not afraid to admit i cant do this on my own, and i do request your help!
ok, well thats my story for now, sorry again for it being so long. and thank and blessings to all of you!i pray that our Father touches the hearts of all who are reading this! That He puts His strong arm on all of you, to fulfill the purpose He has for you, without a doubt!
I appreciate any kind of thoughts and all prayers on what ive written
Liene
ok so i do apologize for my long post, i have a tendency to explain a lot of stuff just so there are no misunderstandings. though sometimes its exactly whats needed, i still have to work on that.
I have a prayer request, actually more than just 1 but at the moment im really getting worried about this one. I am a 21 year old girl, and i was raised in a Christian family. I am sooo thankful that God made His presence known to me my entire life, even when i went completely off the path to salvation. no matter what i was doing, i was thinking about God, but i now know i didn't want Him to lead me, i just wanted to escape hell. and now God has shown me my mistakes shown me how much i need Him and a true relationship. that i have to KNOW Him, not just do right. its a long story how and i would love to post and share how God changed me and is changing me every day, but i guess this isn't the right topic subforum
Praise be to our Father! so my request is this. when i was around 16 i got into a relationship with a guy, long story how the devil tried to ruin my life so i wouldn't do what God wants me to do. God freed me from that, but when i was about 17 i started smoking because i was influenced by this guy. i was with him for 4 years, and i smoked all of that time except for about 5 months all together in between, because i quit a couple times. after i broke it off, it was still a very hard battle to quit smoking, though i wanted to sooo badly. and then God showed me why i was doing it. I was looking to the cigarettes for comfort instead of to Him. i asked Him to change my heart instead of just the smoking, and He did. and i dont want to smoke anymore, i have had a couple times when i was tempted and i gave in and had a cigarette, but not many. and not in a few months now. i am free and praise God! but now heres the problem.
I already have many medical issues, i could spend a long time explaining all my health problems, basically, its hard for me to even write this, because my hands are cramping, hurting, its hard for me to do a lot of things. i try not tolet it get to me and im fine. though i recently found out why itmight be so, almost all of my health problems can be traced back to when i was very small child, some reason why my circulation is bad. not positive about this but its an idea my mom had just last week. im going to the doctor tomorrow for tests and things, since after reading about it, turns out if untreated you can get strokes and heart attacks, and if i have had it almost all my life, then im worried. i was ok with just having pain and cramps and discomfort, i thought who am i to demand to be comfortable all the time. but now seems there are more serious risks. so about a month ago, or maybe 2, i notced a lump on the roof of my mouth. and it hasnt gone away. so i read about it and it was good news from the internet, that its probably nothing, almost never is, that at my age and female, veeery small chance of getting oral cancer. so i wasnt worried. then about a week ago i noticed another lump and the first one still hasnt gone away. so i got more worried. read up, and again nothing harmful. then, i got about maybe 30 or so veeery tiny like grain of sand tiny bumps on the corner of my upper lip and they sting a little bit when going over them with my tongue. so that turns out to also be a symptom. so then i got more worried. also, i have had a problem with my jaw for about 3-5 years now, cant even remember. every time i open it, it cracks on one side. like a popping noise. used to be only when like yawning widely. now even chewing food with a closed mouth makes it happen. and, in the past couple weeks, ive had a stiff kind of feeling in my jaw when opening and closing my mouth. and its the same type of stiff feeling i get in my hands and feet and fingers when i use them. so it might be that just spread to my jaw too, but then again, that stiffness in the jaw is also a symptom of oral cancer.
so what im asking is that u would pray about this, that i dont have cancer. because i dont want it, of course, if it is the consequence of the mistakes i made when i was younger, i will endure it, but, i ask, as Jesus asked, in Matthew 26:39, "My Father, if it is possible, let this cup of suffering be taken away from me. yet i want your will, not mine." if me having cancer and maybe leaving this earth early, lead others to Him, and there is no other way, let it be done bu i ask that you pray for God to give me the strength and faith to endure it and to have faith and no fear in death for Jesus had no fear. He knew He would be with his Father! i sometimes have my doubts about me being accepted, because it seems just so unreal, to be accepted because He loves us. because we believe. i know its true and WOW, what grace!!! just sometimes its hard to understand, to believe. and i eep thinking i have to do so much, so much work, then i realise, He tells me, that i dont have to do the work and stuff, to get to Him, but i do it because i want to, because its in my heart to praise and glorify God! and i feel so bad sometimes about bad things ive done that i dont want, for not telling someone about Jesus when i had the chance, for wasting time doing things that dont work for the good of God.
so yeah, i ask that you please pray that it all turns out ok, that i domt have cancer. that if i do that He heals me, and if not, then to give me strength and faith! in any case i want this situation to glorify Him! i will be devastated if i find out that i have not got a long time to live here, and somehow im already getting myself ready for it because i know ive sinned, i smoked for the longest time and i do deserve to be punished. i dont deserve to be saved from this. but by Gods grace, i pray that he save me from it, that i dont have the cancer. only by His grace we breathe every moment! even now in my mind getting ready for the worst news in the situation, heaven and hell are becoming more real to me, and i feel God pulling me to life completely for Him. not wasting any time in anything like computer games, or anything. its not like we cant play them, we have the freedom in Christ to have entertainment, but i feel God pulling me to do so much more. and i want to live that out. so i guess im also asking for you to pray for me to have the strength to spend all my time doing Gods work, though its hard since im alone with my parents in a different country, and i have no friends here, i do have a church i go to but no missional stuff, no community with the church that would actually be a relationship through Christ. i long for that soo much! i want to BE the church, and i try but its hard to be the church, alone! my parents are in bad situations themselves. another long story, praying for them sooo much too! so its hard to think of stuff to do for God, in my situation. i ask God everyday to show me. and sometimes i feel the answer and i do whatever i can through Him, i just truly truly want to do more for Him, after all, He did soooo much for us! im even feeling a but guilty for asking for these prayers, that there are so many people suffering way more so many people who dont even know God and i pray for them, i want so bad that they know Him! but i do need prayer, everyone does, im not afraid to admit i cant do this on my own, and i do request your help!
ok, well thats my story for now, sorry again for it being so long. and thank and blessings to all of you!i pray that our Father touches the hearts of all who are reading this! That He puts His strong arm on all of you, to fulfill the purpose He has for you, without a doubt!
I appreciate any kind of thoughts and all prayers on what ive written
Liene
