Passion in Dating

[Dunecrazy]

Fellow Brothers and Sisters,

I have been dating my GF for 2yrs and almost 5 months.

We are so in love and have been grower closer and closer. We are both solid in our boundaries, but I am looking to get a little advice.

I am asking the different question than (how far is too far). I have no desire to push our limits and boundaries that we have set.

I want to know if we can share serious passion. We know that we love each other. We both get "turned on", we call it excited.

The deal is that she doesnt know if she can feel that.

If you could give me your thoughts on whether or not it is ok to be turned on. I would appreciate it.

-info
-Both raised in solid christian families.
-We kiss each other.
-no innapropriate touching
-We cuddle. definitely passed not being alone together.

ex. In our first 8months of dating, we were advised not to be alone together, and we are definitely proven trustworthy to one another and our families.

My goal in getting these questions answered is to decide whether or not she can feel ok about being passionate and excited. Because if she ever comes close to that excitement she stops us from kissing.

Thank you
God Bless
andy

 

[latteda]

In my opinion, it's totally ok. If you weren't turned on by kissing, especially after 2-1/2 years, I'd worry that something was wrong.

However, you have to be realistic enough to realize that once you do get turned on, it is incredibly hard to stop before things go too far. Girls especially can't turn themselves off like a light switch once they are aroused. She may be wise in pulling away when she gets aroused because she knows if she goes farther she will have a hard time not jumping you.

I speak from experience.

 

[PolarBear3]

I'm not sure how you're defining being excited vs. being passionate because I would consider them to be the same thing. But I think it's important to trust your girlfriend to know what her limits are. If she doesn't feel right about being passionate, then she's doing the right thing by stopping kissing.

I do this with my boyfriend when I feel like our passion is too much for me. We have clear boundaries too, but sometimes the excitement can feel like it's getting out of control and then I stop us from kissing even though we are staying within our boundaries. He accepts that and we stay physically close after we stop kissing so that we still feel connected.

Your girlfriend may feel OK about being passionate and excited within marriage, but she may not feel OK about too much of it within dating because she wants to stay firmly within boundaries. But I'm just speculating about what your girlfriend *might* be feeling. I think the key here is to talk to her about it and find out what feels OK and what doesn't. She may not be able to explain *why* she feels that way ... feelings can be tricky that way. Even when you really love each other, you both can feel differently about passion/excitement/boundaries and still have a strong relationship. But what's *really* important (and I think you understand this) is for you both to feel like what you're doing is right and good. And if she doesn't feel OK about getting passionate then to accept that and adjust your boundaries if you need to.

Does that help?

Kathy