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Parents

jmhart85

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Just a little background, My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 2 years and we have had a good relationship in the way that we don't fight or anything like that. I am 18 and she is 20. She is in her 2nd year of college, and I am a senior in high school. She lives about an hour away, and i only get to see her on the weekends. Anyways, lately it seems that her parents, mom in particular, cannot be satisfied. If i don't go spend time at her house her mom thinks i'm mad at her, and if i go and spend time at her house, she thinks i'm mad at her because i don't initiate a lot of conversation or stuff like that. I am working about 30 hours a week while going to high school. Usually when i go to her house it is after work and i'm tired, and not very conversational. It's really bothering me, and frankly I have no idea what to do. It seems more than not my girlfriend just asumes that I'm actually doing something wrong, and that her mom is right when i don't feel i am. It just feels sometimes like i'm being betrayed by my girlfriend. What can I do? Any help would be appreciated.
 

invisiblebabe

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You do NOT want meddling parents in a relationship. If she isn't mature enough to make her own decisions and think for herself, she probably isn't the one for you. Talk to her about the situation, and see what she says. Tell her you feel betrayed when she lets her mother's opinions cause problems in your relationship. If she's receptive, and tries to fix things, then that's great. If she refuses to take her parents off that pedestal, sadly, it's probably over between you guys in a matter of time. I've been there, and it wasn't fun... I'm praying for ya.
 
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jmhart85

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thank you invisiblebabe, i really appreciate the help. I talked to her today and told her what was going on, and that if things didn't change in our relationship soon, that things were going to be over between us, and i really hope that she will change things. I just don't think she realized what was going on and i opened her eyes. I really appreciate your help...thanks
 
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katelyn

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DaveKerwin said:
talk to this person and mention the fact that you think these feelings exist, and discuss why you act the way you do. Basically, lay your cards ont he table and have an honest discussion about it.
^ I agree with this.

When I was younger (even like high school age), I tended to be kind of shy around people I didn't know all that well, and that included parents of my friends. I could be over at a friend's house all the time, but because we didn't spend much time with their parents, I wouldn't say much to them when I did see them. Some took this the wrong way, and I didn't know how to deal with it because I was shy.

Now I know that I should have just talked to them about it, how I didn't mean anything by being quiet and that I would try to talk more to them in the future. Instead, I avoided them because I was embarrassed that they would think negative things about me, which of course only made the situation worse. A little honesty can do wonders for a situation.
 
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