- Apr 8, 2018
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My aunt was raped in her teens. She put her baby up for adoption. The baby girl grew up and contacted my dad wanting more information about the family. My aunt was divorced at the time, emotionally distressed, had two more children from her failed marriage and was unable to help.how did you help your preteen/teen deal with identity & all the unknowns that come with adoption?
we started to watch a movie which had people in it from the country where preteen was born & the movie triggered lots of feelings
asked preteen "would you like to talk with a counsellor" & got strong no
any help/tips would be appreciated
thanks for your input @Franki(ncense)
however, there is no info on birthparents/family
no way to find out
that is what preteen is struggling with mostly
the blank slate- everything is unknown
our preteen does say she loves us & she knows we love her
however, she said this week "it's not fair you both know your birthparents, grandparents, siblings"
not knowing is difficult!
I was adopted not long after I was born. When in later years I was made aware that I had been adopted my feelings were exactly like those of the young man you mentioned. As far as I was concerned my real parents were the two wonderful people who adopted me and who cared for me and loved me. I had no interest in contacting my birth parents.I worked with a young man who told me he was adopted.
His reaction to the question about his natural parents was simple.
His parents were the ones who had brought him up. He had no interest in who had given birth to him and had given him up.
All I can suggest is to be open and honest with questions.
To stress your love for them.
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