parents respect children?

[netzone23]

I have a question in the bible does it say anything about parents respecting children. Let me explain this situation that I have.

My friend she is 25 and living with her parents but has been wanting to get out on her own...move out to an apartment. Her and her parents and both Christians and go to a church...and her father is a pastor. When she wanted to move out her parents told her that she was no respecting them if she moved out that she can only move out if she gets married and they approve the person she is marrying. Now let me explain the reason why she wants to move out.4

Her parents won't let her shower in doors she has to use the garden hose in the back yard to take a shower... cause they make her shower outside to prevent the shower tile from fading. She is force to pay their mortgage if she doesn't they will force her to leave so she can't save up for an apartment cause she is paying so much for the mortgage that she won't be able to make the first and last month rent plus the deposit.

She also has to clean the whole house and make sure she wipes down their shower completely so their is no mildew. She was sick with the flu for a week and she forgot to clean the house for one day cause a high fever and her parents said that she was not respecting them and not obeying them because she didn't clean the house so they said she was sinning because of it.

So she has to suffer with all that her parents make her do it much worse that what i have explained and she wants to move out but she is afraid to do so cause she would be dis obeying her parents and not respecting them so her parent tell her that she would be sinning by moving out.

Her bother moved out when he was 20 but he wasn't paying the mortgage or cleaning they never made him do that. She has been paying their mortgage since she was 19. Sorry this is so LONG but I've known her for a long time and it keeps getting worse she keeps having to pay more and more now...cable, internet, food, electric, plus the mortgage.

So is there anything in the bible that can help her. Cause unless she has something in the bible to help her. She will be forced to do whatever they saw cause she doesn't want to sin and loose favor with God by disobeying her parents. Hence is there anything about Parents respecting children in the bible.

Sorry for it being so LONG
Thanks,
Stephen Johnson

 

[Singermom]

Just off the top of my head, I remembered this one:

Ephesians 6:1-4

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise — “that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

I actually made sure that my daughters knew this verse.

There may be more in Proverbs...but that'll take a little research on my part.

 

[dies-l]

If this is all true, then I doubt that these parents are really going to change just because the Bible says so. What you describe is manipulation and abuse that is so contrary to the Great Commandment that it is obviously wrong regardless of whether you can find a specific verse on topic. But, let's be honest: abusers don't really care what the Bible says about what they do.

 

[Fireinfolding]

It would be so nice if she had a christian freind aware of her dilema who would grant her some time to with live them. Even just a few months so she would be able to save up and be free of this situation. This girl is obviously not lazy or unwilling to her part, however the situation shes in seems so burdensome. I'd pray God send her someone to help her, and give her a way out of this situation.

 

[visionary]

She is force to pay their mortgage if she doesn't they will force her to leave so she can't save up for an apartment cause she is paying so much for the mortgage that she won't be able to make the first and last month rent plus the deposit.

There it is............ keep the money and make a deal with the apartment manager.. show records of payments to mortgage for parents and explain situation... the right minded manager will see the stable wage earner and be more than willing to grant a leniency if it is in their hands to do so...

 

[visionary]

This is a bible thumping set of parents.. and no matter how many bible thumps she gets.. she needs to know that is not how God intended His Word to be used..

 

[Jerushabelle]

In a Godly household, parents who counsel their children to stay at home until marriage are doing their children a great service. It's sound advice in a world that can rip a young man or woman apart and lead them astray from Godly lives. Young men can profit from the example set by a good Godly father so that when he finds a suitable wife, he will be as good a provider as possible for his family. Young women receive solid counsel from their fathers and learn how to care for their future husbands and children from their mothers. This doesn't seem like the scenario you have presented.

When a child becomes an adult under their parents roof, they should then accept some responsibility for the finances associated with the running of the house. Notice I said "some". If you are living in America, the bad economy is making things very hard for everyone. Much like during the depression, everyone in a household should pitch in as best as possible. Respect is a two way street, however, even in Godly households. If it is true, what you describe going on in your friend's home isn't Godly behavior. A Godly parent has every right to ask their 25 year old daughter to chip in on the mortgage, water bill, electric bill and food bill but not expect her to pay all the bills. The only exception to that that I could think of is if the parents are infirmed and can no longer provide their own living but you did not state that was part of the scenario.

A Godly parent would not require that their daughter remove herself from the privacy of the household bathroom and expose herself to possible preying eyes or illness. It's a correct attitude under God that your friend wants to do what God asks of children but you will notice that whenever God makes a rule for one, He makes an equal rule for the other; husband for wives, wives for husbands, parents for children, children for parents, pastors for their congregation and vice versa. There is goodness and balance/fairness in God's rules for living. Whenever you or your friend wants to know what is right or wrong behavior in God's eyes, just think about His commandments to us. Children should honor their parents however, parents should not frustrate their children. All good things are from the Father, the God of all creation, and He is the example that parents are required to follow. If they aren't following that example then they are in the wrong. What to do about it? Seek the counsel of the pastor in her church. If her father is the pastor of the church, seek the counsel of the elders or deacons. A sister church should also be consulted. She should pray on that counsel, request the guidance of the Holy Spirit and then act accordingly. God will move her in the right direction.

 

[netzone23]

I was trying to find bible verses for her to use. Cause she told me that she would like to leave but it would be disobeying her parents if she were to leave because they told her not to leave. I recently got upset cause my wife and I went on a 2 week vacation so we told her stay in our house and relax from your chores at home.
So she stayed at our house they knew she was staying at our house. The next day they called her and asked why she hasn't come home and done her chores. She had to go home every afternoon to do the chores otherwise they would throw away her stuff...bed, tv, etc.
I wasn't trying to change her parents minds but to show her that she wouldn't be sinning by moving out.
I also just found out that she had to go to part time from full time cause she couldn't keep up with her inside/outside chores and her parents were angry with her cause she wasn't keep up on yard work. My wife and I hate to see our friend being taken advantage of like this.

Thank you all for your responses it was very helpful.
Stephen Johnson

 

[Jerushabelle]

I was trying to find bible verses for her to use. Cause she told me that she would like to leave but it would be disobeying her parents if she were to leave because they told her not to leave. I recently got upset cause my wife and I went on a 2 week vacation so we told her stay in our house and relax from your chores at home.
So she stayed at our house they knew she was staying at our house. The next day they called her and asked why she hasn't come home and done her chores. She had to go home every afternoon to do the chores otherwise they would throw away her stuff...bed, tv, etc.
I wasn't trying to change her parents minds but to show her that she wouldn't be sinning by moving out.
I also just found out that she had to go to part time from full time cause she couldn't keep up with her inside/outside chores and her parents were angry with her cause she wasn't keep up on yard work. My wife and I hate to see our friend being taken advantage of like this.

Thank you all for your responses it was very helpful.
Stephen Johnson

Matthew 7:9-12
2Corinthians 12:14
Ephesians 6:1-4
Ephesians 5:29-30 (applies in that children are of our bodies)
Colossioans 3:18-21 (shows the balance of things)

I hope this helps. God grant you all wisdom in this matter.

 

[ecclesasties]

With regards to your friend, but her parents are not showing Christian love IMO only. This is "borderline" abuse, again IMO only. She is 25. She is NO LONGER a child.

Now, with regards to the question you posed in the title of the OP:

Parents should:
1) Love their children
2) Raise their children in the Word of God
3) Care for their children
4) Provide for their children
5) Discipline their children

IF this fits your definition of "respect", ok.............

Looking at my list, how many of these would you say your friend's parents are doing?

 

[SUNSTONE]

I have a hard time believing this story is true.

- Father's a pastor
- Daughter not allowed to use shower because tile will fade, yet parents use shower, and daughter has to clean shower. (Since when does tile fade?)
- Daughter pays the bills

 

[visionary]

Extreme situations are around.. and I would say that if itis true.. this is one extreme set of parents..

 

[Silver2001]

I would say the same thing. It is hard to believe that someone would do that. I am not saying that the whole story is a lie, but there is more to it, that what it is indicated.

 

[Jerushabelle]

Considering some of the so-called pastors I've encountered over the last couple of years, it doesn't surprise me at all. Double standards, no Biblical standards, it's crazy. There's so much veering from the scripture and no accountability.

 

[Cassidy]

The bible says CHILDREN obey their parents not ADULTS obey their parents. She doesn't have to obey her parents at all for she is an adult. Do her parents obey their parents? I highly doubt it.

My parents were awful to me too, I was still getting smacked with a wooden spoon at 19 for goodness sake. I was married at 20 LOL Parents shouldn't treat their grown children like that, it's not right and she has every right as an adult to do what she pleases.

 

[JCFantasy23]

Besides being abusive, the parents sound unstable to me. The best thing for her would to be to realize this and get herself out of the situation in whatever way she can.

 

[plmarquette]

a friend that has a shower, understanding parents, that will let her come and
heal up at another house, and see what real Christians do...

speak to the mountain, mark 11.23-24 ; submit to God resist the devil, will have to flee James 4.7; speak and believe 1 John 5.14-18 ... children and family services...
child abuse

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

I have a hard time believing this story is true.

- Father's a pastor
- Daughter not allowed to use shower because tile will fade, yet parents use shower, and daughter has to clean shower. (Since when does tile fade?)
- Daughter pays the bills

It does sound like a scam / ploy/ made up situation, but it does happen also...
in any case, from God's Instructions in the Bible(which the whole world rejects), if it is true, it would be a sin if the daughter left from 'under her father's roof' , so to speak, unless she (with her father's approval and blessing) got married (to a godly man). This probably belongs under controversial topics, but it won't change what is written in the Bible nor what God says. (with all that leads up to and the surrounding instructions; not isolated commands/ exceptions happen/ life happens)

 

[tturt]

There are cases of "children" not telling the truth either. Assumptions are being made in that area as well.

 

[Hieronymus]

Let me explain this situation that I have.

My friend she is 25 and living with her parents but has been wanting to get out on her own...move out to an apartment. Her and her parents and both Christians and go to a church...and her father is a pastor. When she wanted to move out her parents told her that she was no respecting them if she moved out that she can only move out if she gets married and they approve the person she is marrying. Now let me explain the reason why she wants to move out.4

Her parents won't let her shower in doors she has to use the garden hose in the back yard to take a shower... cause they make her shower outside to prevent the shower tile from fading.

WHAAAT????

She is force to pay their mortgage if she doesn't they will force her to leave so she can't save up for an apartment cause she is paying so much for the mortgage that she won't be able to make the first and last month rent plus the deposit.

She also has to clean the whole house and make sure she wipes down their shower completely so their is no mildew. She was sick with the flu for a week and she forgot to clean the house for one day cause a high fever and her parents said that she was not respecting them and not obeying them because she didn't clean the house so they said she was sinning because of it.

So she has to suffer with all that her parents make her do it much worse that what i have explained and she wants to move out but she is afraid to do so cause she would be dis obeying her parents and not respecting them so her parent tell her that she would be sinning by moving out.

Her bother moved out when he was 20 but he wasn't paying the mortgage or cleaning they never made him do that. She has been paying their mortgage since she was 19. Sorry this is so LONG but I've known her for a long time and it keeps getting worse she keeps having to pay more and more now...cable, internet, food, electric, plus the mortgage.

So is there anything in the bible that can help her. Cause unless she has something in the bible to help her. She will be forced to do whatever they saw cause she doesn't want to sin and loose favor with God by disobeying her parents. Hence is there anything about Parents respecting children in the bible.

Sorry for it being so LONG
Thanks,
Stephen Johnson

Horror 'Christians' from the pit...
Will this girls ever be able to see through her experience of Christianity?
God have mercy...

Either way, she should leave home when this is the truth of her present home situation.
She's 25, so age is not a problem.