Parents of only child

[llghoney]

Do you ever feel guilty for having a only child? I'm pretty sure Grace is my only one unless we adopt but, I don't see that happening since it's too expensive. Evertime I say to someone she will be my only one people ALWAYS say she has to have a brother or sister. I say in return "she will have lots of friends." It just kinda gets annoying. Like I'm bad for not wanting to give her brothers or sisters.

 

[GolfingMom]

Get used to it
I still hear that I need to have a daughter. My friend has four boys and she still gets the 'are you going to try for a girl - they need a sister" comment. IF you want one child - have one child. IN the end - you're the one paying for and taking care of the child

 

[heart of peace]

Sometimes I wonder if I am meant to have more children. Currently I only have one child and I go through moments where I look at him and think of him as my only and others I will look at him and think of him as my firstborn. I don't know what the plans are for my spouse and I regarding children (I originally wanted 3 or 4) but I do now see being ok with just one. I think it depends on the area you live in, in my area there are a good amount of couples who only have one child.

I agree with GolfingMom, if you want one child, have one child and forget anyone's opinions about your life. You are the one who has to live it, not them. Oh how I wish my naysayers could live my life when I have a tantruming child!! lol

 

[Neenie1]

I have one of each (yes a pigeon pair - rolls eyes)

I have learned that no matter how many children and what sex they are, people will comment.

If you want more children - have more children, if not - don't. It's no-one elses business but yours.

 

[llghoney]

Oh how I wish my naysayers could live my life when I have a tantruming child!! lol

And tell them to pay for the other one huh?

Do you ever have feelings of guilt towards him as in he doesn't have another sibling?

 

[ShannonMcCatholic]

If you want more children - have more children, if not - don't. It's no-one elses business but yours.

Crap! Can I send a bunch of mine back?

MEh- pray about it, and do what is right for your family and forget what everybody else has to say. There will always be people who think you are parenting wrong- and need more or fewer children.

 

[clycleader]

I am an only child and I know my mom heard the same things when I was growing up. I'm relatively normal. haa. Seriously though, if you don't want more kids and don't intend to have them, it's no one's business but yours.
I think only kids are fun. THey're independent, sensative, creative little kids. I loved being an only too. I liked the attention.

 

[heart of peace]

And tell them to pay for the other one huh?

Do you ever have feelings of guilt towards him as in he doesn't have another sibling?

LOL and while we are at it, have them wake up with your child at all hours of the night to help comfort him/her back to sleep.

I don't have any feelings of guilt at all. My choice to have my son was done prayerfully and with the convictions given to me by God. I am open to God's leading for my life and I strive to remain in His will (well usually that free will of mine looks to align with Him ). I have always believed children should be conceived because the child itself is wanted without the idea of providing a companion for one's first child. I do want more but so far it doesn't seem to be happening (not for lack of trying...lol). It wasn't until just this past year that I felt our family's "space" open up for a [possible] new soul to be added to our little circle of trust. Hence, no guilt because I believe my spouse and I are making the best choices for our family.

 

[llghoney]

^^ I think that too & really I only see haivng one child. But it drives me crazy when I say that to people & they are like "NO she needs a sibling."

 

[heart of peace]

Oh yea, it drives me crazy too! LOL But that is a different reaction to one of guilt
I have learned to smile and nod when people go there (by that I mean overstepping boundaries and telling me how to live my life) for the most part. Or I will avoid sharing things with people that I know will evoke a shocked reaction. I don't have time for someone else's issues, I have plenty of my own to deal with....hehe

 

[Linnis]

One woman at DH's work EVERY TIME she sees me says I need to have another and it has to be a girl. I tell her if she wants to foot the medical bills, pay for 3 years of diapers/pull-ups, take the episiotomy and give birth I'd be more than happy to have another baby.

Shut her up pretty quick.

I don't know if DS will be my only child but you'll always get comments, they need a sibling, need a child of the other gender, then the comments swing the other way - "Don't you know how that happens by now?" etc you can't win....

 

[llghoney]

lol, I forgot about he comments that people give when people have more than say 3 kids. Guess it's a never ending cycle.

 

[Gods4me]

im pregnant with number 2 just now. and people are already asking will we have another. my respone is if i dont have to be pregnat for 9 months to have a baby then id think about it. people think its there buiseness and its not. just u have as many or as little kids as u want.

and any one who moan u should have more. tell them to be pregnant with them and u will.

 

[beehoney]

I don't think siblings are a need. If you don't want any more children, don't have any. The people who are saying those ridiculous things won't come and help you babysit or give you money to take care of the siblings they so desperately want you to give your child.

 

[Leanna]

There's pretty much always comments, unless you have a boy or a girl and then perfect strangers declare you the perfect family. BTDT. I ruined it. (sarcasm)

I was an only, and as an only I never understood the comments or what the big fuss is about. But now I have seen my children together. It has changed my world. Of course I have friends whose siblings hate each other, so even that can go sour.

 

[llghoney]

I have friends whose siblings hate each other, so even that can go sour.

Yup, that's why I say she will have lots of friends!

 

[gracepaints]

I have seriously thought about DS being an only child. Babyhood is tough and when you are in the midst of it, it is hard to imagine doing it again. It's kind of like labor that way. Fortunately, selective amnesia sets in (for both things) and I am back to wanting more kids again. I was an only child and I feel like I missed out.

 

[peace in the vally]

My Sisters Each Have Three And My Brother Is Having Twins In July, So Yeah I Get That All The Time Being That I Only Have One. I Just Know That I Can't Aford Two And My Anger Level Couldn't Handle Two And Dr.s Don't Listen So There Is No Help Or Hope But Yes I Get Ragged All The Time About 'needing To Have Another' Then At The Same Time They Each Remind Me That If I Had Another I Would Have To Find Another Baby Sitter As My Grandparents Are Too Old To Handle 2 Kids, And Right Now I Don't Have To Fork Over 200 Dollars Every 2 Weeks For A Sitter So Im Ok With One Child

 

[Leanna]

I was an only child and I feel like I missed out.

Yeah me too especially now that I see it!! In a positive family you are friends with your siblings longer than anyone else in your life (since parents are likely to pass on first).

I also agree with the other stuff you said.... after my first was born, I said I wasn't having anymore.... it passed.

 

[llghoney]

Yeah me too especially now that I see it!! In a positive family you are friends with your siblings longer than anyone else in your life (since parents are likely to pass on first).

I also agree with the other stuff you said.... after my first was born, I said I wasn't having anymore.... it passed.

What does that mean?