Parenting: Indoctrinate or teach to think for themselves?

[Syd the Human]

I see a lot from atheists that it isn't right to force a religion on a child because at that age their minds are very impressionable and will not be able to think fully upon what they are being told.

Even as a Christian I planned to let my children be whatever religion that they wanted, but that I would make them go to church for a time until they reached a certain age.

As an agnostic, I can't help but agree more.

I would not have chosen Christianity if I had not been raised in a Christian household. Genesis has always annoyed me, the stories are poorly written and a bit dull to be honest.

I remember telling a friend I wish JK Rowling had written the Bible so that it would be better.

If my child became religious, as long as they were a good person I would not care. If their religion made them become mean I would intervene.

But, I know that others disagree. So I ask to everyone:

Why would you choose to raise your children in your religion, and not just let them choose for themselves?

or, if you are on the other side of this debate

Will you allow your child to become religious if that is what they wanted? (Edit: this is worded weird, ignore the first part of this) Or would you try to persuade them out of it?

 

[quatona]

Will you allow your child to become religious if that is what they wanted?

Why, of course - that´s everyone´s personal decision.
Apart from the fact that I wouldn´t even know how to effectively disallow them to be religious.

Or would you try to persuade them out of it?

I guess I would try to explain to them why I am not religious - if they´d ask, that is.

 

[KitKatMatt]

I don't think it's indoctrination to teach a child about your religion. You can still do that while telling them to think for themselves, and to question things.

If I had children, I'd share my faith with them, while always reminding them that they can think however they'd like. I'd probably also introduce them to other religions and belief systems too, because it's good to learn about others as well (plus it's really interesting anyways!).

That all being said, I know that religious indoctrination does exist, and it's a really scary thing

 

[FlawedSheep]

I would involve them in the church from a young age, go about my life believing what I believe, but I'd make it clear that belief is a personal choice. If a child grows up without realising their faith is completely up to them then I would consider myself to have failed as a parent. Parents are there to help their children grow into independent adults who have developed their own view of the world. It's impossible not to rub off some of your own beliefs on your children, but simply raising a child in a Christian home is no more a removal of choice than raising a child in an atheistic home. It all comes down to how the household handles things like belief.

You should not force someone to believe the same things as yourself, even your own child. You can introduce your beliefs, explain why you hold them, and involve them in the community, but it should always be made clear that their life is their own. If they have grown up and are able to engage with others who have different beliefs without calling them names or demanding they repent for their sins lest they burn in hell for all eternity, then I'll be happy. Actually if I can raise a child who understands the difference between believing something and applying it to your own life and believing something and trying to force everyone else to believe exactly as you do, then I'll be happy.

 

[2PhiloVoid]

I see a lot from atheists that it isn't right to force a religion on a child because at that age their minds are very impressionable and will not be able to think fully upon what they are being told.

Even as a Christian I planned to let my children be whatever religion that they wanted, but that I would make them go to church for a time until they reached a certain age.

As an agnostic, I can't help but agree more.

I would not have chosen Christianity if I had not been raised in a Christian household. Genesis has always annoyed me, the stories are poorly written and a bit dull to be honest.

I remember telling a friend I wish JK Rowling had written the Bible so that it would be better.

If my child became religious, as long as they were a good person I would not care. If their religion made them become mean I would intervene.

But, I know that others disagree. So I ask to everyone:

Why would you choose to raise your children in your religion, and not just let them choose for themselves?

or, if you are on the other side of this debate

Will you allow your child to become religious if that is what they wanted? (Edit: this is worded weird, ignore the first part of this) Or would you try to persuade them out of it?

I choose to raise my children in my "religion" because I would like to see them in heaven, and it is also my responsibility as a Christian parent to do so. Of course I'm not just going to flip a coin and let the child choose for themselves. I didn't let my child choose if he wanted to cross the street on his own, or to learn to drive a car, without my close supervision. I've seen parents who give in to a more "laissez faire" approach, and the children have gotten hurt.

 

[Received]

Teaching kids to think for themselves is a form of indoctrination. You can't really *not* teach a kid to believe something unless you completely neglect the child -- not even your physical presence can be there, given the influence of modeling.

So it's really a question of which type of indoctrination is most tolerant and makes them happiest without sacrificing the happiness of others.

 

[Ana the Ist]

I see a lot from atheists that it isn't right to force a religion on a child because at that age their minds are very impressionable and will not be able to think fully upon what they are being told.

Even as a Christian I planned to let my children be whatever religion that they wanted, but that I would make them go to church for a time until they reached a certain age.

As an agnostic, I can't help but agree more.

I would not have chosen Christianity if I had not been raised in a Christian household. Genesis has always annoyed me, the stories are poorly written and a bit dull to be honest.

I remember telling a friend I wish JK Rowling had written the Bible so that it would be better.

If my child became religious, as long as they were a good person I would not care. If their religion made them become mean I would intervene.

But, I know that others disagree. So I ask to everyone:

Why would you choose to raise your children in your religion, and not just let them choose for themselves?

or, if you are on the other side of this debate

Will you allow your child to become religious if that is what they wanted? (Edit: this is worded weird, ignore the first part of this) Or would you try to persuade them out of it?

If I had a child who became religious, I would accept it. It's not what I would choose for my child...if I had a choice, that is. You have to let your child be themselves, even if you think it's a mistake...you have to let them learn from those mistakes.

I wouldn't try to change them...but I wouldn't lie or let their beliefs interfere with mine either.

 

[Sayre]

I think indoctrination is an unfair word to use. I share my journey with my kids, so does my husband. I share my likes and dislikes of food, sport, science, religion, poetry etc. My style of clothing and artwork and home decoration. There is nothing wrong with sharing "you" with your kids. There is only something wrong when you punish or threaten them for not aligning their beliefs with your own. Go ahead and share whatever you want with your kids - you aren't harming them in the sharing of yourself. That goes for Christians as well as atheists .

Just don't be a bigot in doing so.

 

[bhsmte]

Kids are going to pick up on your beliefs just by you being their parent, without you forcing them on them or doing so in a strict manner.

With that said, since I moved away from Christianity just a few years ago, my kids were raised Christian. They do know my current position, but I have not once told them to do anything but believe what works best for them. As I have always said, religion works for some people, if believing truly makes you a better person and does not force you to refute realities in doing so.

 

[2PhiloVoid]

Kids are going to pick up on your beliefs just by you being their parent, without you forcing them on them or doing so in a strict manner.

With that said, since I moved away from Christianity just a few years ago, my kids were raised Christian. They do know my current position, but I have not once told them to do anything but believe what works best for them. As I have always said, religion works for some people, if believing truly makes you a better person and does not force you to refute realities in doing so.

Do you also let them choose if they wish to study science or not?

 

[Syd the Human]

This is my view of the word doctrine, as in this is how I personally define it.

"doc·trine noun \ˈdäk-trən\
: a set of ideas or beliefs that are taught or believed to be true"

I meant specifically with religion, because if a person takes their religion seriously it would alter their behavior.

Of course your children will pick up habits from their parents since we learn from observation.

If I was a theist, of course I would teach them my religion, but I would not teach it as, "This is my religion and it is the correct one, but you are free to choose from the wrong ones." I would tell them that the religion I practice is the one that feels the most right to me, and that they are free to choose what was right for them. But then again, if I honestly thought they would go to hell if they were not in my religion would it be ethical of me to not force my religion on them?

 

[bhsmte]

Do you also let them choose if they wish to study science or not?

In high school, science is required and I have let them pick their own elective courses. In college, they can study whatever they want.

My two daughters actually went to Christian school for a couple years before going back to public school and they both like the change quite a bit and have commented how much more challenging the curriculum is.

 

[Adhmar]

(Ephesians 6:4) (Deuteronomy 4:9)

Children don't have the wisdom to know what is best for themselves. God does. A parent should. You should raise your children in the Lord, but give them the freedom to find God on their own. There is a difference between knowing of God and knowing God. Have to develop faith, that is, trust in the unseen and know that when you need to lean on the Lord you won't fall on your face. Have to learn how God works so you know when you can trust him to be there. Miracles happen at the intersection of faith and reason.

If God is a tree, and those who eat of the fruit are blessed, then why would you not want your child to eat of it? There is a reason Europe Dominated the world, and it was not because of skin color or genetics. Good trees produce good fruit. The tree became corrupted and the fruit became bad with idolatry, ism's, feminism, humanism, etc. Not of God.