Parenting Fears- Normal or Not?

[Kazamataz]

Ok so as most of you know i'm due to have my first child in roughly 7 weeks.

I'm quite fearful that I'm not going to be a very good mother.

My parents abandoned me when i was 13, so i pretty much raised myself from then on.
I'm worried because my parents set such a crappy example that i'm not going to be a very good mother.

is it normal to worry about what kind of parent you'll be or am i just being over the top?

 

[purpleunicorn_Andi]

very normal. I grew up in a fairly stable house hold, my husband did not... and we both worry still... we have an almost 6 year old, and one on the way... you go to just go one day at a time, if you are having a bad day find someone who can watch the baby for a few hours and take a break... did your husband grow up in a stable family? do you have friends that have small children? talk to them about your fears, I am sure they have had a few of thei own... like I said... I still have fears, but I deal with them as they come...

 

[olafias]

I'm scared too, and I grew up in a stable family. I think all parents experience some fear, it seems to be pretty normal! I will pray for you, though! I'm sorry you had a bad experience with your parents-remember that you don't have to be that way with your own children. Also remember that you aren't alone-God will help you every step of the way!

 

[hisbloodformysins]

Ok so as most of you know i'm due to have my first child in roughly 7 weeks.

I'm quite fearful that I'm not going to be a very good mother.

My parents abandoned me when i was 13, so i pretty much raised myself from then on.
I'm worried because my parents set such a crappy example that i'm not going to be a very good mother.

is it normal to worry about what kind of parent you'll be or am i just being over the top?

Yes, my son is now 5, my daughter 2. And I worried about that the day he was born, and is still my main concern every day and every night.

Here's what I've learned in those 5 years. Truth is, you ARE going to screw up and make mistakes. I think the important thing is that you are aware of it and do try your best. My mom had an "oh well" attitude and didn't seem to make much effort to change her bad mother ways. Though I screw up atleast I pray and try to change. Some days I'm a patient and caring mom, other days I'm short tempered and always raising my voice to them and looking forward to them going to bed. It's inevitable, no matter how much one desires and strives to be perfect, it is not something that can be obtained. Fortunately I'm coming to peace with it more now than before and not as worried about ruining my kids for life.

HB

 

[Redstiletto]

Yes it is very normal.

I too am very worried. I have ADD and I know that somedays are bad days for me. And I fear that will get in the way of me raising my baby. It is a huge fear of mine that my attention will get away from me and I wont be able to control it.

 

[Kazamataz]

Thanks guys it's good to know i'm not alone!

 

[ConservativeChristian97]

I've been concerned about it, too, but I've been praying and giving it to God. My main thing is, "What if I'm not ready?" I've been wanting to get pg since my hubby and I got married, so I know I am. I just have moments of doubt now and then.

 

[Kazamataz]

I've been concerned about it, too, but I've been praying and giving it to God. My main thing is, "What if I'm not ready?" I've been wanting to get pg since my hubby and I got married, so I know I am. I just have moments of doubt now and then.

oh i know what you mean too, i'm only young!
what if i'm not ready, what if i cant handle it, ect there are so many what if's!!!

 

[ChildByGrace]

I feel like that too.

I'm the last of my siblings to have children. I have seen what they have done right and wrong and i really feel like i should be an amazing mom but i'm just not sure i will be.

 

[teishpriest]

I was so scared that I would be a horrible Mom. My DH kept telling me that bad mothers don't worry about whether they will be good moms or not, LOL! Anyway, my grandmother keeps telling me that she can't believe I'm such a good mom since I was always so nervous around kids, LOL! It really is different whey they are your own. I'm expecting #3 and I'm still worried! It's normal, you will be a fine mother to your baby!

 

[jgonz]

Just the fact that you're afraid you aren't going to be a good parents says that you WILL be.

I think it's completely normal to be afraid... I mean you're responsible for this Completely Helpless human being... it's overwhelming. And you never get used to it no matter how many kids you have. You just pray a lot and ask G-d to help you make the best decisions you can.

 

[PegasusOnFire]

I am still worried, and I am expecting my second child. BTW my parents would pit my twin and I against eachother and I am afraid I will do that with my kids