So strange.. Sometimes i feel like this pain was born with me.. Its slowly kills me.. Like keen knife in heart.. With it you wont live long.. Sometimes it doesnt hurt.. But when you a little touch it, you die from pain..
I dont know what to do.. I fear one night i wont endure this loneliness..
I cant see people around.. I feel i hate them.. I know, i shouldnt hate, but i cant.. I see, how stupid are their wishes, lives.. How do they look at me with empty dead eyes.. "When people run in circles".. And it kills me.. Night is full of brightest stars, but no one eyes are reflecting that beautiful silent shining..
My memories.. My childhood.. Memories of loneliness and abuse.. How i wish to erase them.. But i see the same people around me.. I walk the same streets.. i see the same picture from window, and new and new waves of painfull memories chock me..
The more i feel im stranger to others, the more i want to find someone who will understand me.. The more grows hatred against some cruel and stupid people, the more grows unshared love to people who is different from them.. Who has a tender, but broken by this cruel world heart..
The more uglyness and dirt i see around, the more my heart is willing for someones clear heart, i could warm at least only for a little.. In my life i met two people, whose beauty forever stayed in my heart.. But they are gone.. I pray for them everyday.. I pray, their broken, bleeding, but so beautifull hearts will find a peace.. Peace in Endless Love of God.. Only He can really Heal.. Who wipes away every tear..
I wish to go.. To sleep forever.. To lose ability to feel.. but i know, untill im alive, i have to fight.. But with every day, with every drop of tears, i feel, this knife in heart go deeper and deeper, untill it tear my heart apart.. I know, one day i wont stand this pain.. The days when that people left i was at the edge.. i know im too weak.. i couldnt eat, couldnt sleep, couldnt talk.. couldnt stop shiver and tears.. I cant take this loneliness anymore..
"I find it kind of funny, i find it kind of sad, the dreams in which im dying are the best i`ve ever had. I find it hard to tell you, i find it hard to tell, when people run in circles, its a very very mad world".. donnie darko soundtrack..
I dont know what to do.. I fear one night i wont endure this loneliness..
I cant see people around.. I feel i hate them.. I know, i shouldnt hate, but i cant.. I see, how stupid are their wishes, lives.. How do they look at me with empty dead eyes.. "When people run in circles".. And it kills me.. Night is full of brightest stars, but no one eyes are reflecting that beautiful silent shining..
My memories.. My childhood.. Memories of loneliness and abuse.. How i wish to erase them.. But i see the same people around me.. I walk the same streets.. i see the same picture from window, and new and new waves of painfull memories chock me..
The more i feel im stranger to others, the more i want to find someone who will understand me.. The more grows hatred against some cruel and stupid people, the more grows unshared love to people who is different from them.. Who has a tender, but broken by this cruel world heart..
The more uglyness and dirt i see around, the more my heart is willing for someones clear heart, i could warm at least only for a little.. In my life i met two people, whose beauty forever stayed in my heart.. But they are gone.. I pray for them everyday.. I pray, their broken, bleeding, but so beautifull hearts will find a peace.. Peace in Endless Love of God.. Only He can really Heal.. Who wipes away every tear..
I wish to go.. To sleep forever.. To lose ability to feel.. but i know, untill im alive, i have to fight.. But with every day, with every drop of tears, i feel, this knife in heart go deeper and deeper, untill it tear my heart apart.. I know, one day i wont stand this pain.. The days when that people left i was at the edge.. i know im too weak.. i couldnt eat, couldnt sleep, couldnt talk.. couldnt stop shiver and tears.. I cant take this loneliness anymore..
"I find it kind of funny, i find it kind of sad, the dreams in which im dying are the best i`ve ever had. I find it hard to tell you, i find it hard to tell, when people run in circles, its a very very mad world".. donnie darko soundtrack..
sweetheart, i want to wrap my cyber arms around you. 
