It's the constant nagging that gets me stressed. I just really want my own privacy. I still go out to eat with my mom and my dad for quality time. I still come home for dinner more times than I go out. I don't know what more they want. I don't know what I am going to do when I have a girlfriend.
I just don't want to be babied. They keep doing things for me that I don't want them to do and it makes me feel inadequate, useless and lazy. I am already paying for all my credit card bills, I am not behind in finances and I manage them well. I plan my career. I don't smoke or do drugs. I never got drunk.
The past few nights have been difficult for me to sleep. I am not sure if this is associated with it, but it starting to worry me and I am afraid of having anxiety attacks. I can't deal with it when people invade my privacy.
I know everyone is advising me to move out now. But here's the thing, if I do that, it's going to cause a huge argument and my parents will say I am not loving or whatever.
As I am typing this, my mom comes in and asks me what I am doing. She was actually trying to read what I was typing this very moment! I had to close the window and then she said 'privacy?' and then lightly taps my head before she leaves. I did spend the whole day out today because I couldn't stay home. And she asks me what I was doing, who I was with, why she doesn't recognize the friend's name I said?
It felt more like interrogation. My parents are always advising me to tell them everything.
I am just trying to cope with it. Because of my parents constantly invading my privacy, I have developed self-defense and being more evasive. And because of this, they become more intrusive and question why I am evasive. It's a cycle.
Sigh....OK...let me be blunt...I have had to be blunt with myself, and I found that actually works, because sometimes, Christian or not, some people need to CUT out relationships...some for a time and some for all time.
Obviously you don't want to do that with your parents...but what you have, is a symbiotic relationship..
No one can help you at this point if you don't help yourself. You mention a girlfriend...as a woman, I know that almost all women do not care to have a whiny mommy's boy for a boyfriend and certainly not a husband.
Your mother will compete for your total attention with any woman you try to have any relationship with....my mother did that with every boyfriend I ever had until I turned rebellious because of her constant interfering and I married the first bad boy to come along...disastrous ...was divorced on biblical grounds due to his adultery (multiple adulteries...I put up with a lot), got messed up with another bad boy and finally repented and began to seek God as to why my life was a total disaster.
My mother blamed, and still does blame, everything on my father who was in survival mode for most of the marriage. My mother believes she is a Christian even though she has alienated herself from every single family member and I am the only one who still talks to her and often at my own hurt as she is devious, sneaky and extremely manipulative and lies like she breathes.
So you see, it really matters not if someone calls themself a Christian. If they do not evidence new life, the fruit of the Spirit and love for other Christians, my advice is to STEER CLEAR...and you know, the Bible tells us to do that...it is about impossible when a person like that is your mother or father or worse, both.
Even so, I cannot blame anyone for what kind of person or Christian I am. We have to learn to stand up on our own two feet and follow Christ...not other people..you have to forgive people who use you and pray for them...you absolutely DO NOT HAVE TO DO AS THEY SAY and continue to appease people who want to live their life through YOU.
You won't get better advice then leave that home...I probably know just how you feel considering my life with mommy, and because of that, I urge you to take steps now. Don't stop loving them...but they are controlling you and that is not Christian.
I could say more, but you need to digest the fact that the only one who can change your situation is YOU.
One more thing, if you don't break the cycle, you could very well end up with a wife as controlling as your mother. If you like being taken care of, aka controlled, then you are good to go. If you prefer to be your own man? well, you know what to do.
