Overcoming temptation

[JThomas]

I have recently begun dealing with my attraction to other guys, as well as an addiction to gay porn. It has been going on for several years, and now that I am in college I realize I may be at a bit of a tipping point. I know that in order to move on I need to confront these desires. At the moment I am doing a terrible job with temptation. All it takes is one small trigger, and before I know it, I am down an all too familiar, dark road. When I do manage to overcome this temptation, I tend to take a dive in my self esteem, and feel pretty down for a while. How can I deal with this day to day when it seems to run my life?

 

[deshawncdap]

Hey JThomas!

The thing that comes to mind, for me, is how much are you delving into Scripture to combat these desires? How in your life are you loving God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength? I don't ask this to help you think "I'm a good person, so why would God curse me with this sin?" We're neither good or bad, but we're all sinners and we all need Jesus. He's the Lord and Savior to rescue us all from ourselves.

My other question is do you have an accountability partner? Accountability is a strong tool that God uses for us to use each other for fellowship and battling and conquering sin. Create boundaries for yourself. You know what causes you to fall, whether it be a thought, a person, an activity, whatever. Flee from temptation, my friend! Run to Christ all the more. Those would be my suggestions for you: Get in the Word, stay in it, find accountability, and create boundaries to keep the bad out, but let Christ-like influences in. Try settingcaptivesfree.com's Door of Hope course. I know it's a great source that is sound in alignment with Christ.

 

[apologia25]

Hey bro,
i guess it all starts with the desire to change, which I believe you have. Secondly its about prayer, taking the time to pray daily being real with God, expressing to him your hurts and struggles and asking for his help. Thirdly it is placing barriers in your life that will keep you from the sins you've grown to love. What barriers do you have in your life? What triggers you? As for self esteem and condemnation, you need to realize that there is a godly sorrow and a worldly sorrow. godly sorrow leads you back to God, while worldly sorrow keeps you away from him. It is for you to distinguish, what is of God and what isn't. Practicals: if there is a place you're always going to fall into sin, you need to avoid it at all costs. Jesus said if your eye causes you to sin remove it, because its better to enter heaven with one eye then go to hell with two. This verse is not about salvation but about our relationship with sin. Some have called it radical amputation. Removing that thing from your life. If there are guys in your life whom you have that type of relationship you need to space yourself from them. If its a living situation you need to find a way out of it. figure out what the sin is and what is causing the sin and remove it. as for attraction, it is not sin, it is what you do with that attraction. I just want to encourage you that there is hope, as you create barriers you allow yourself room to breathe so you can feel freedom again. feel free to PM me

 

[zeochs]

Hi there,

even though I am not struggling with same sex attraction, I can empathize with a few points you mentioned, in particular feeling down after giving in to lust.

From my point of view, the first thing is that through Jesus, our sins are forgiven, and that if we ask God for forgiveness, he will forgive us and no longer hold our sins against us. That is, if you ask for forgiveness, you are clean before God and ready to re-start the battle against sin.

I would also say that as long as you are fighting against sin, you are honouring God every time you are not giving in to temptation. That is, if you don't give in 4 times out of 5, you've done the right thing in those four times, and if you manage to stand firm 5 times out of six, you are also making progress. I.e., don't beat yourself up if you stumble.

What I have personally found quite helpful has been to remind myself of the fact that whatever temptation we are in, God will always provide a way out. At least for me, considering this and praying for deliverance has been an immense help.

I would also say that accountability is very helpful. Is there somebody you trust you can talk to about these issues? Ideally somebody you know from real life at about your age? I think that also your pastor would be happy to help - I am sure you are not the first person to bring up such issues.

Finally, I personally find some of the studies on setting captives free quite helpful. Maybe have a look at those.

All the best,

-- zeochs

 

[JThomas]

Thanks for the advice, its good to hear. Unfortunately I do not have an accountability partner at the moment, mostly due to the nature of my weakness. Unfortunately something that comes with this issue is fear. Fear to expose myself, fear to let someone in. I also feel bad about laying all that on one person. I was always viewed as the "innocent one", which is clearly not true. Not that it matters what others think of me, I just don't want to be treated differently because of this.

 

[Almatha]

you just need an accountability partner someone you can talk to.

 

[Contrar]

Your fear is understandable, but an accountability partner is still worth it. I was very afraid to admit my struggle with homosexuality, when I finally decided to be accountable in this I couldn't bring myself to say it. The fear paralyzed me so I had to write it down to even tell them. In the end they didn't reject me. I still expect them to treat me differently, but they never have. Nothing I feared happened. I've just been blessed by friendship and accountability. So I would encourage you to find accountability. You can really find healing through it.

 

[tunnelhckrat]

I know how it is when a trigger would set you off down the dark road. Ive been there nd it was not easy to get off the path. I also know of the guilt that comes with failure, its a tool of God that satan has twisted into a weapon. Guilt lets us know that we are doing wrong, but it does not condem us, beat us into the dirt, or make us despise ourselves, thats satan. Keep Praying and waiting and God will come through for you, even if at the time it seems horrible and utterly devestating (at the time it seemed that for me).