The Bible does not say that we should compare ourselves with each other in order to judge the closeness of our own relationship with Christ.
How would we judge whether Foadle, Kemmer, myself, or anyone else was the closest to God?
The truth is we cannot, and anyway it’s none of our business.
The relationship Foadle has with Christ is secure and upheld by Him, and is no less for the fact that she admits to a struggle. NO LESS!
She is in Christ; she can be no closer than that!
Just keep gazing upon the lovely face of Jesus, dear Foadle.
He is victorious in your life, He is leading the way, He is revealing more and more to you, and it is His love for you that will free you.
Meanwhile you do remain in Him, that is a fact, and you are clothed in His righteousness, so be at peace.
God bless you, love Sue