Overactive imagination?

[AWorkInProgress]

Heya,

Oh man I had a wonderful Saturday, but Sunday was nuts lol

Trying to lower the invisible wall to people at church, but wasn't all that successful. Left church feeling down and while I visited my folks something was just gnawing at me.

I went straight home cause my stablility was going out the window. Like I was just tired and frustrated trying to carry some massive burden.

Got home and frustration was turning into rage. I hit the bed to calm myself. Just applying my teachings and understanding. Yeah I goofed up trying to open myself to others, but I know that human behavior is hardest thing to change. I forgave myself.

Oddly enough that wasn't the real problem. Like some part of me was ripping my self esteem to shreds, and other half just could not take the verbal abuse anymore. Working thru this mess in my head.

It really did not make sense for I already addressed mistake I made. I forgave myself, so why am I ripping myself to peices? Do I have multiple personality disorder or something? As I was searching thru my mind with everything I learn so far. Thought about how ADDers naturally are prone to depression due to responce from others from procrastination. How I have a high creativity wired brain. Also thinking about that article on vicious cycles and bad habits.

I finally conclude that other voice is my overactive imagination. Replicating the negitive thoughts I heard in the past as well as what else they would have said. It went away after that. Was nice sense of freedom the rest of the night I must admit. Created a new disappline that when I hear two lines of thought in my head to make the correction. Reign in my imagination.

Made me think later. How long has this happened? How has it effected me in the past?

Morale of the story, when one's mood is going down the toilet fast and no real reason other than severe negitive thoughts. Could be sinful nature taking advantage of one's imagination.

Now how to turn this stupid imagination into a cash cow? hmmm...

 

[cardfan1]

I also am blessed/cursed with a highly overanalytical/imaginative mind. And it can play serious tricks on you when you're down. I've read a lot of your posts before, and I'm sure that you will trust the Lord and his word in finding your answers.

Just to add though, I often find myself allowing some situation or thought enter my mind. I then take that situation and look at every conceivable angle, predict what I and each other person will do or say, and then draw conclusions based on my thorough examination. Problem is, most of these situations or thoughts have never happened and likely never will. I see one small thing wrong in my life or someone else's and I just tend to dwell on it. In turn, I continually beat myself up mentally, often thinking the worst is bound to happen. Sort of like when Jesus said that we will suffer trials and tribulations for His sake - while that is true, I've taken it a step further and expect that EVERYTHING in my life is a trial and tribulation. Hence, I'm supposed to suffer all the time. This leads into trying to do things to make your spiritual life better instead of relying on faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. Moral of the story (for me at least) - be very careful with an over-analytical, highly imaginative mind. The Lord has blessed me with it to figure so many things out, but I tend to abuse it and destroy myself with it. I continually have to remind myself of the Lord's truely amazing grace.

Here's a story the pastor told this past Sunday...

There once was a priest who when out in public kept hearing a woman trying to get his attention. She kept saying, "The Lord has spoken to me Priest! I have a message for you from God! I have a message for you from God!" After a few days of this, the priest finally went over to the woman and said, "Listen here lady, we have very strict rules about people receiving visions and messages from God. So to test your authenticity, I want you to go home and pray and ask God what sin I confessed to Him this past week." So about a week later the woman came back to the priest. The priest nervously asked her, "Well, did you ask God what great sin I confessed to Him last week?" And the woman replied, "Yes. I did." And the priest asked, "Well, did God tell you what it was?" And the woman replied, "Yes. He did." And the priest asked, "Well, what did He say?" And the woman replied, "God said He couldn't remember."

You see, sin is a very serious thing, and we should be aware of it. Like the pastor said, it is very healthy to think about sin before you commit it. But if you are saved, only the devil would have you think about your sin after you've committed it.

In Christ...

 

[AWorkInProgress]

Ignore bro,

Think I am having another trial. In the area of control. I am not mad or anything. Just result of old tendencies.