Outing out a liar...

[stan1980]

Personally, I always let it slide, but say you hear someone tell a tale, could be one they've been going on about for a while, fairly harmless, but you know for whatever reason it's a lie (they don't realise you know though), do you just keep quiet or do you call them up on it, or maybe just tell all your peers they're bs-ing?

Some of you must have some tales to tell....

 

[KCKID]

Personally, I always let it slide, but say you hear someone tell a tale, could be one they've been going on about for a while, fairly harmless, but you know for whatever reason it's a lie (they don't realise you know though), do you just keep quiet or do you call them up on it, or maybe just tell all your peers they're bs-ing?

Some of you must have some tales to tell....

It depends. One needs to choose their battles. What is the benefit of 'outing' such a person?

 

[stan1980]

It depends. One needs to choose their battles. What is the benefit of 'outing' such a person?

That's what I think, although it can be very annoying if it goes on for a while, but I do let it go, especially if it's harmless.

 

[corvus_corax]

Personally, I always let it slide, but say you hear someone tell a tale, could be one they've been going on about for a while, fairly harmless, but you know for whatever reason it's a lie (they don't realise you know though), do you just keep quiet or do you call them up on it, or maybe just tell all your peers they're bs-ing?

Some of you must have some tales to tell....

IRL, I present them with the facts
This often comes up at the school I work with
If they present me with lies, adhoms, or just "guesses" (e.g. "well in my opionion blah blah blah) I gently call them out on it.
Yes, believe it or not, IRL I'm quite honest and gentle with people

It happens quite a bit, telling a tale, a lie, a lie that's been demonstrated to be wrong.
But quite frankly, I am more gentle and understanding and diplomatic IRL than I am online when it comes to such.

 

[OphidiaPhile]

Personally, I always let it slide, but say you hear someone tell a tale, could be one they've been going on about for a while, fairly harmless, but you know for whatever reason it's a lie (they don't realise you know though), do you just keep quiet or do you call them up on it, or maybe just tell all your peers they're bs-ing?

Some of you must have some tales to tell....

It depends on the person and the situation for me. Some people do it because of low self esteem while others have narcissistic personalities and others still do it for attention or just love telling stories. The first two would be useless to call on it and could even be detrimental if not done properly while the latter two may need to be called on it for their own good as well as the good of those they interact with.

 

[stan1980]

It depends on the person and the situation for me. Some people do it because of low self esteem while others have narcissistic personalities and others still do it for attention or just love telling stories. The first two would be useless to call on it and could even be detrimental if not done properly while the latter two may need to be called on it for their own good as well as the good of those they interact with.

I'd imagine attention is the number one reason for lying, which is normally intertwined with low self esteem. I don't know if it's worth bringing it up if it's made them feel happier or more important... Probably make them feel even worse if you call them up on it.

 

[OphidiaPhile]

I'd imagine attention is the number one reason for lying, which is normally intertwined with low self esteem. I don't know if it's worth bringing it up if it's made them feel happier or more important... Probably make them feel even worse if you call them up on it.

That is probably true.

 

[stan1980]

IRL, I present them with the facts
This often comes up at the school I work with
If they present me with lies, adhoms, or just "guesses" (e.g. "well in my opionion blah blah blah) I gently call them out on it.
Yes, believe it or not, IRL I'm quite honest and gentle with people

It happens quite a bit, telling a tale, a lie, a lie that's been demonstrated to be wrong.
But quite frankly, I am more gentle and understanding and diplomatic IRL than I am online when it comes to such.

It's a bit different online... Commonly the lies online here are misrepresentations of facts, any other stories you would have no clue whether they are true or not, unless they trip themselves up at some point or another with a contradiction. For example if person x says "92% of homosexuals are paedophiles" then it's okay to call them up on that sort of stuff in my book.

 

[Polycarp_fan]

It depends. One needs to choose their battles. What is the benefit of 'outing' such a person?

One little lie can be the foundation of a life lived in error of what truth is.

 

[Verv]

I think the punishment is already present -- the fact that everyone there knows they basically are lying, and if they keep doing this they will gain more and more awareness of what sort of person this is...

That is a punishment unto itself.

 

[Polycarp_fan]

I think the punishment is already present -- the fact that everyone there knows they basically are lying, and if they keep doing this they will gain more and more awareness of what sort of person this is...

That is a punishment unto itself.

I've seen this as the reason that Evangelical Churches keep spreading. People are leaving a life lived as a lie and are gaining lost ground in the Christian life.

Also, the numbers in the traditional denom I attend as well (Luteran), are surpisingly growing.

 

[Verv]

I've seen this as the reason that Evangelical Churches keep spreading. People are leaving a life lived as a lie and are gaining lost ground in the Christian life.

Also, the numbers in the traditional denom I attend as well (Luteran), are surpisingly growing.

That is very true -- I think the largest characteristic of modern Christianity that we are seeing is how people come to it later in life.

My father left the Catholic Church in his twenties and spent a decade as an alcoholic. He then came home.

I think for a lot of people the message of Christ is what people need in the 21st century -- a focus on forgiveness and salvation through grace, so to speak.

Christ is the meaning that people need in a world where they have everything they want and more, and still cannot figure out why they are not satisfied.

Yearly, famous Korean actors and actresses and other pop icons kill themselves even though they have achieved total fame and lead lives of obscene luxury. Their sadness is profound and deep because in the end there is no real meaning to any material fulfillment.

Material fulfillment is a lie.

 

[Polycarp_fan]

I think the largest characteristic of modern Christianity that we are seeing is how people come to it later in life.

With mulit degrees in hand.

My father left the Catholic Church in his twenties and spent a decade as an alcoholic. He then came home.

Hmm another parable yet proved as a fact. That Jesus was some smart.

I think for a lot of people the message of Christ is what people need in the 21st century -- a focus on forgiveness and salvation through grace, so to speak.

But there are so many of the accpeted vice worldview, wanting Christianity to bend to their will when entering the Church. Who can be forgiven for sins they will not repent of?

Christ is the meaning that people need in a world where they have everything they want and more, and still cannot figure out why they are not satisfied.

Europe and America 2009. Time to weep bitter tears.

Yearly, famous Korean actors and actresses and other pop icons kill themselves even though they have achieved total fame and lead lives of obscene luxury. Their sadness is profound and deep because in the end there is no real meaning to any material fulfillment.

South Koreans have gained immense wealth from their hard work and talents, only to be shown the regrets of licentiousness that truly cannot fill every hole in the human soul. One thing I embrace about globalism, is that there is absolutely no difference from one human soul to another.

Material fulfillment is a lie.

But only at the beginning of reality. Some find it only at the point of losing everything. What I found out (the hard way), is that Christ Jesus is not a myth at all.

 

[Verv]

Yeah, Polycarp, that is all really well said.

The notion that people can say "Oh I am a Christian but you know, I am not really violating a principle in my homosexuality or in my premarital sex, etc." is so harmful to the Church because they have even begun teaching kids that these things are not necessarily sins.

Christianity then becomes a social club.

The people who 'take away' from the Bible by making these not sins are in jeopardy of hell by misleading others and misleading children.

 

[Beanieboy]

Personally, I always let it slide, but say you hear someone tell a tale, could be one they've been going on about for a while, fairly harmless, but you know for whatever reason it's a lie (they don't realise you know though), do you just keep quiet or do you call them up on it, or maybe just tell all your peers they're bs-ing?

Some of you must have some tales to tell....

You know how telling one lie causes you to tell 7 more? The person usually exposes themselves. If the person is lying about others, as Pat Robertson is known to do about gay people (suggesting that gays, lesbians and feminists were responsible for the 9/11 attack), the community that is accused has every right to defend their honor, and expose him for the liar that he is, and to look at his intent, which is usually a ploy to induce fear and get more money out of the viewers. Salt of the Earth my aunt Edna.

If the person is lying to show how amazing they are, like that they date Johnny Depp, they will have to tell 7 more for that one lie, and again, expose themselves as a liar, and soon, will not be trusted when they are telling the truth. A person that lies often often sees no reason not to if it is convenient, or gets them out of trouble, but their own punishment is being thought a liar.

 

[PhilosophicalBluster]

I call out lies against peers. Especially if they're trying to take credit for someone else did, that really annoys me.

 

[.Sabre.]

I call out lies against peers. Especially if they're trying to take credit for someone else did, that really annoys me.

Yep. Same here.

 

[gwenmead]

Personally, I always let it slide, but say you hear someone tell a tale, could be one they've been going on about for a while, fairly harmless, but you know for whatever reason it's a lie (they don't realise you know though), do you just keep quiet or do you call them up on it, or maybe just tell all your peers they're bs-ing?

Some of you must have some tales to tell....

My usual inclination is to let them keep on with it, because I know it will come back to bite them later, probably in some tremendously embarrassing way. Although I'm not above grilling someone in the middle of their lies, just to make it more and more difficult for them to keep it up, and more likely that they'll mess up and expose themselves right then and there.

But I don't always go with my usual inclination, particularly if I know that someone's dishonesty is going to impact someone I love very badly. Then I'll speak up, plainly and clearly.

I think there are a lot of ways a person can be dishonest, and sometimes I'll uncover the dishonesty, and sometimes I won't. It just depends.

 

[Athene]

I'm a firm believer in giving people enough rope to hang themselves. If I know somebody is lying I won't pounce straight away, I bide my time and eventually it all comes out.

 

[Rebekka]

My usual inclination is to let them keep on with it, because I know it will come back to bite them later, probably in some tremendously embarrassing way. Although I'm not above grilling someone in the middle of their lies, just to make it more and more difficult for them to keep it up, and more likely that they'll mess up and expose themselves right then and there.

But I don't always go with my usual inclination, particularly if I know that someone's dishonesty is going to impact someone I love very badly. Then I'll speak up, plainly and clearly.

I think there are a lot of ways a person can be dishonest, and sometimes I'll uncover the dishonesty, and sometimes I won't. It just depends.

I'm the same. The part I bolded is always fun.