Out, but when will I see change?

[SoLaWaVe]

I told my parents/family & close friends about my homosexuality around 5 months ago. How they found out still kinda makes me angry, my brother found out from my MSN messenger (I no longer use). Straight away he went and told my parents, its a complex story, I won't go into detail. I really don’t get on with my brother at all, to tell the truth I really just don’t give a carea bout him [sad to admit]...my family’s reaction was that they loved me.... for the next 2 months they showed me so much love, even my brother did...

Now it seems to have gone back to normal, my brother calls me the American word thats for gay...thats not nice* all the time and my parents just say "you'll be fine, Gods on your case"

No one seems to understand how hurt I am inside...I guess I don’t show it much, and when I do it turns into great anger. I can’t forgive my brother at all, and when I do, straight away he hurts me again... this just makes more anger and hate build up.

Gods been showing me the spiritual side to homosexuality, its a real battle, ive had the whole deliverance stuff with all the spasms, I still get it when someone prays with me, not 100% sure what’s going on, guess its the battle...

I’ve been getting real detailed dreams, that I draw after I see; some of them are not nice. I’m more than sure its God showing me the spiritual side.

At moment I keep going through stages one week im all happy and close to God, next im all sad, down, and depressed! I really don’t want to live like this; I want to be close to God all time.

Is there any hope of anything changing? There’s so many problems people have that struggle with homosexuality! As I read in Andrew Comiskeys Book, how Jesus heals the Homosexual... When will I see the change?

 

[Awake]

I dunno. I don't think anyone here can tell you when that will be. I don't know what final act, deed, or bit of spiritual growth it will take. God knows when your heart will be ready, and will provide what you need. Keep the faith, keep hope alive, and keep taking your concerns to God. I mean, even I have seen enough change to know God is hard at work in my heart. It might be an overnight change, it might even be a quite gradual change. Like any war that has human elements though, some days you will win the battle and some days you will not. Don't give up on God, 'cause He won't give up on you.

 

[Dirtydeak]

If it has to do with sex, I have strugled with it. I had my first homosexual experience in 9th grade, and was pretty much bi through out high school. I know the shame.... the anger and bitterness. and sometimes utter helplessness. But... all is good! The first and, singely most important thing for you to remember is that you are loved. You are important, and You are forgiven. Also that if any man confesses the Lord Jesus Christ with his mouth, and believe with his heart that he has risen from the dead he shall be saved. remember JESUS IS THE ANSWER. Second, you have to do this on Gods terms in his way. You cannot overcome homosexuality by sheer self will. One thing that needs to be pointed out is unforgivness. You cannot recive the full blessings of God with bitterness, anger, and maybe even hate toward your brother. It is written that you must forgive your brother if you expect God to forgive you. Remember.. Satan is the accuser of the brotheren, it is our job to forgive those who have wronged us as earnestly as we ourselves seek to be forgiven. "Bless those that curse you" you might say. In forgiving others you will find many obsticals removed from your path. Such things as hate, bitterness, unforgiveness ect.. distort our views, and cloud our understanding. Being gay is not your problem. sin is sin is sin. All sin is a symptom of the sickness of our flesh. It is our flesh, and the sinnful nature of it that we need to be concerned with. If you die to your self, and live for Christ, your homosexual tendicys will have no hold on you. Trust me, I have had 4 gay lovers, and truley enjoyed them, but It has been years since I have had gay thoughts toward a man, Because God is faithful! Another thing is let go of your shame. Your a christian. You don't have a past, you have a testimony. It is written that we have defeated Satan by the word of our testimonys and by the blood of the Lamb. Your testimony will defeat Satans best laid plans. Don't be brave!! The word warns us to flee from sexual imorality. RUN AWAY!!! Do not go near anything that will tempt you. God has promised us that no temptation will come upon us that we cannot bear, and that he will always provide a means of excape. But the catch is that we must chose to do Gods will, or we rebel and return to our sin as a dog to his vomit. I promise God will deliver you, but it is a choice you must make. Stay in Gods will, and the promises of God will be yours, and you will change.


Jay

 

[Lael_Rapier]

I just told my mother in July this year. It was after my 30th birthday and the Lord was still working on me. It wasn't about me. It was about God. I had to come to him, humbled, with my sin-scarred heart exposed. I had cried out everyday for the Lord to take my sin away and for I don't know how long - at least a decade or more, I struggled - I had known of my sexual struggle since childhood. Things took a turn for the worse when I gave in and had my first homosexual experience. That was 3 years ago. But now I am freed of all of that. I still struggle and I know I will always have those compulsions, but I know where to send them now.
Don't put faith in yourself to have this change. It all has to be for the glory of Jesus.

Admitting the truth about who you are to your family and friends is good and all, it does make you feel better, but it is not for God's glory.

May the Lord carry you in this.

Lael