Our Story

[mafiedler]

I live in an unequally yoked home. I work and my husband attends schhol, and stays home with our children. I hate it. I'd rather be at home with my children, and work part time, or go back to school and work as a nurse. I have supported my husband through three different boughts of schooling, all of which were supposed to improve our life. But didn't. I am very tired. For six years we have done this. When we first married, he went to school to get his nurses aide certficate. Then, he discovered it wasn't as exciting as he thought it was. So he went to school for his EMT license. After he graduated, we moved hoping if we were in a bigger city he'd get a better job. It didn't work, and he became disatisfied with me and moved out of state. He worked as an EMT there, but since he was trying to go to school for his paramedic, I was nice and didn't ask for child support. I worked two jobs. Now he's home and has been for a year +, and he's going to school for his EMT Intermediate (in Texas, where he did live, you go right from EMT to Paramedic, in Illinois, its EMT-Basic, EMT-Intermediate, Paramedic) Up until just a few days ago, I worked two jobs. I need to go out job hunting again. Also, my husband is having problems with cavernous hermangiomas, bleeds in the brain that cause seizures. So right now, I need to work. But, I am resentful of it, and of the class. I'd love nothing more than to go back to school. I can't help it but I sometimes think if I had six years of someone else supporting me, I'd have my BSN in Nursing atleast. If not Masters, or specialization, as a nurse midwife etc. But, as it is I feel all thsi time is wasted.
Plus, he has alwasy attened church, his whole family has. Unlike mine. He claims to be a Christian. But, he has no fire, no passion for God. He doesn't like to go to church, and I love it, but I work Sunday mornings. We have three children who love it too, but he doesn't take them. He found a new church he likes, but for the same reason he likes it, I dislike it. But he's only been once.

 

[mafiedler]

Oh, I didn't add, he has no care for the spiritual concerns of our home. I do all the man stuff and he takes care of some of the female stuff, ie housework. When he feels like it. Or after I've jumped him about it. Also, he raises our children in punitive ways, and I grace based discipline.

 

[searle29678]

Wow, I feel your pain. I don't mean that in the corny way, I really do. I'm not quite sure to tell you. Does your husband understand the way you feel about this? Have you guys tried counseling? Since he is a Christian, have you guys prayed together about what to do with his job and school situation?

 

[mafiedler]

We are in counseling, but he doesn't understand how I feel about this. He thinks I should be happy he's doing something to (eventually) better our lives. We don't pary together. It goes back to that "no fire no passion" thing. He thinks having gone to church since birth exempts him from "all that fussy stuff which includes praying, repenting, confessing sin, worrying about secular influences on his life and ours. LOL.....he doesn't have a personal realtionship with Jesus Christ as his Savior, and doesn't understand why he should.

 

[WashedClean]

Hi Mafiedler ,

I don't have a lot of time right now, but wanted to respond. I will try to write more later.

I really feel for you. I'm also in an unequally yoked marriage. I am the only one working (for 3.5 years) and my husband went back to school to finish college. He got his diploma in 2002 and then spent 2 years working on our house. Now it's almost finished and I am concerned about him finding a job. He's very picky. He really appreciates me working and I have an awesome job that pays well. But I'm burned out and would rather work in a church or charity. Since I'm the only breadwinner, I can't right now. We don't have any children, so this helps take the burden off. And neither of us has any health problems, praise God.

I just said a prayer for you. That you will find a job that pays very well and you can have Sundays off. That your husband will be motivated to find work as well and realize his responsibilities. I also prayed that he be healed in Jesus name.

Remember that the Word says the unsaved spouse is sanctified through marriage to the saved spouse. You need to remember that. God can use you and your marriage to glorify Himself. Do you have a pastor who can help? Find a church that has other moms you can reach out to and they can lift you up.

I'm sorry, I have to go back to work. I'll be praying for you.

God bless,

WashedClean

 

[mafiedler]

LOL......I did have a pastor, but my husband doesn't like my church. Plus, I don't get there as much as I should. We are in Christian counseling. Thanks for the prayers, they are like gold to me.

 

[searle29678]

I know how hopeless you must feel right now. When you have one willing to participate in communicating with the Lord and one that isn't it seems pretty hopeless. I just want you to know, without going through my life story, that prayer--even if it is only yours can work miracles. I have learned the hard way to be the best wife I can be and do all I can for my husband regardless of whether I feel he deserves it. Not only that, but I prayed, prayed, prayed. Slowly but surely things are turning around. God may be using this time in your life to prepare you for something else in his plan for you. Just keep your eyes on God and let him take care of it. I also learned that when you try to handle anything like this by yourself, you are bound for total chaos in your marriage and your life. You are in my prayers!

 

[MERCY@GRACE]

I live in an unequally yoked home. I work and my husband attends schhol, and stays home with our children. I hate it. I'd rather be at home with my children, and work part time, or go back to school and work as a nurse. I have supported my husband through three different boughts of schooling, all of which were supposed to improve our life. But didn't. I am very tired. For six years we have done this. When we first married, he went to school to get his nurses aide certficate. Then, he discovered it wasn't as exciting as he thought it was. So he went to school for his EMT license. After he graduated, we moved hoping if we were in a bigger city he'd get a better job. It didn't work, and he became disatisfied with me and moved out of state. He worked as an EMT there, but since he was trying to go to school for his paramedic, I was nice and didn't ask for child support. I worked two jobs. Now he's home and has been for a year +, and he's going to school for his EMT Intermediate (in Texas, where he did live, you go right from EMT to Paramedic, in Illinois, its EMT-Basic, EMT-Intermediate, Paramedic) Up until just a few days ago, I worked two jobs. I need to go out job hunting again. Also, my husband is having problems with cavernous hermangiomas, bleeds in the brain that cause seizures. So right now, I need to work. But, I am resentful of it, and of the class. I'd love nothing more than to go back to school. I can't help it but I sometimes think if I had six years of someone else supporting me, I'd have my BSN in Nursing atleast. If not Masters, or specialization, as a nurse midwife etc. But, as it is I feel all thsi time is wasted.
Plus, he has alwasy attened church, his whole family has. Unlike mine. He claims to be a Christian. But, he has no fire, no passion for God. He doesn't like to go to church, and I love it, but I work Sunday mornings. We have three children who love it too, but he doesn't take them. He found a new church he likes, but for the same reason he likes it, I dislike it. But he's only been once.

Welcome There is rest for the weary. It sounds like you are working alot now,but things will eventually change in that area for the better. I think right now, you dh health should take prescedence.Praying that God ignite the fire that lay dormant w/in your dh