I could write a book, here.....but I'll spare ya'll of that. I have so much to say....but have no clue where to begin.
I started this thread, titling it 'our plates'.....and as human beings......we ALL carry a plate....some have more on their plate than others......but ev'ry individual, on the face of this planet, carries a plate of some form or another....I'm currently still learning 'bout "the items" that are on my own plate.....sometimes I feel it's more like a platter, than a plate.....but I'm reassured an tell myself.....that God still loves me, just the same....and He'll help me get me thru it all.....
I used to be terrible about "condemning" others......I would constantly point my finger at fellow Christians an how they went about living their lives.....and what I mean by that was.....before my breakdown [in the fall of 2000], I was trying soooooooooo hard, to live a "perfect" Christian life.....tried to do ev'rything.....and I mean "ev'rything"....the Bible told us to do....as well as what "I thought" God 'expected' me to do....I cleaned my house out of ev'ry movie and music CD that wasn't geared towards God...homeschooled my children [for just a cpl of yrs].....I mean....it was if I was sheltering us all from the world......and if a fellow Christian was part of the world......I condemned them [in my heart....not verbally]....
As I continue to learn more about myself.....I can feel God, right there with me....see...I suffer an struggle with Bipolar Disorder, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, and Post-traumatic Stress Disorder.....and I have often questioned.....'why me?'.....'what did I do wrong, to hafta deal with these things?'.......'isn't my faith strong enuff?'.....'am I being punished?'......an so forth an so on......and people from our former church would tell me......"Just take it to God....take it all to God...."....."well, mebbe your faith is too weak....try focussing more on Christ".......an in response......I'd say...."but I DO have my focusses an faith on Christ!!".....I was praying several times a day.....writing in my journal.....reading and studying the Bible daily.....went to church several times a week......I mean.....my WHOLE lifestyle was Christ-centered.....WHERE did I go wrong?....
I am now understanding it all......slowly....and in bits an pieces.....but ya know....we're not all perfect......ev'rything happens for a reason.....it's all part of His plan for each an ev'ry one of our lives....God KNOWS I don't wake up ev'ry day....w/set-intentions of messing up, giving in to temptations, and/or sinning of some sort or another......we were all born in flesh.....an 'that' flesh is imperfect.....we can try as hard as we think possible.....but not a single person on the face of this earth....is goin' to be perfect....the Lord has "humbled" me....I have stepped down from my soap box of perfection.....and have learned to accept people 'as they are'...and for 'who they are'......not for 'what they do'.....because they, too.....have their own plates they carry.....
My lifestyle now, is not exactly what I'd call a very pleasing an positively influencial one....my breakdown set me soooooooooooooooo far back....I had become angry and bitter.....but I can feel those negative feelings fading....I can feel God working on me.....an workin' on gettin' me back on track [for I had 'seriously' went astray, for several yrs.....but have learned a LOT].....now....all that I want to do is....be there for people.....love them unconditionally....doesn't matter to me what a person has done.....or didn' do....I just love them.....I don't always take pleasure in the lifestyles of some.....but I swallow my winces...STILL love them....and I've also learned.....you can't force Christ onto the "lost souls", nor can you force him on fellow Christians [esp. those who struggle]....just be who He wants you to be....an love others, as He has loved us.....like this one song says...."we gotta do some talkin'....w/out saying a word.....if we don't have a caring heart, our voice can't be heard....people in trouble don't need a judge, what they need's a friend....gotta do like Jesus...and LOOOOVE them in" [from Ken Holloway's - Gotta Do Some Talkin']
Just take to heart.....an remember.....you ARE loved......and whether you carry a platter, or a saucer.....you're STILL loved AND accepted.....so, when in doubt....just remind yourself....like a friend told me once...."if God brought you to it, He'll get you through it".....an boy, does my heart weep for joy, when I tell myself that.....
Your "Sister In Christ"
Lisawc
I started this thread, titling it 'our plates'.....and as human beings......we ALL carry a plate....some have more on their plate than others......but ev'ry individual, on the face of this planet, carries a plate of some form or another....I'm currently still learning 'bout "the items" that are on my own plate.....sometimes I feel it's more like a platter, than a plate.....but I'm reassured an tell myself.....that God still loves me, just the same....and He'll help me get me thru it all.....
I used to be terrible about "condemning" others......I would constantly point my finger at fellow Christians an how they went about living their lives.....and what I mean by that was.....before my breakdown [in the fall of 2000], I was trying soooooooooo hard, to live a "perfect" Christian life.....tried to do ev'rything.....and I mean "ev'rything"....the Bible told us to do....as well as what "I thought" God 'expected' me to do....I cleaned my house out of ev'ry movie and music CD that wasn't geared towards God...homeschooled my children [for just a cpl of yrs].....I mean....it was if I was sheltering us all from the world......and if a fellow Christian was part of the world......I condemned them [in my heart....not verbally]....
As I continue to learn more about myself.....I can feel God, right there with me....see...I suffer an struggle with Bipolar Disorder, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, and Post-traumatic Stress Disorder.....and I have often questioned.....'why me?'.....'what did I do wrong, to hafta deal with these things?'.......'isn't my faith strong enuff?'.....'am I being punished?'......an so forth an so on......and people from our former church would tell me......"Just take it to God....take it all to God...."....."well, mebbe your faith is too weak....try focussing more on Christ".......an in response......I'd say...."but I DO have my focusses an faith on Christ!!".....I was praying several times a day.....writing in my journal.....reading and studying the Bible daily.....went to church several times a week......I mean.....my WHOLE lifestyle was Christ-centered.....WHERE did I go wrong?....
I am now understanding it all......slowly....and in bits an pieces.....but ya know....we're not all perfect......ev'rything happens for a reason.....it's all part of His plan for each an ev'ry one of our lives....God KNOWS I don't wake up ev'ry day....w/set-intentions of messing up, giving in to temptations, and/or sinning of some sort or another......we were all born in flesh.....an 'that' flesh is imperfect.....we can try as hard as we think possible.....but not a single person on the face of this earth....is goin' to be perfect....the Lord has "humbled" me....I have stepped down from my soap box of perfection.....and have learned to accept people 'as they are'...and for 'who they are'......not for 'what they do'.....because they, too.....have their own plates they carry.....
My lifestyle now, is not exactly what I'd call a very pleasing an positively influencial one....my breakdown set me soooooooooooooooo far back....I had become angry and bitter.....but I can feel those negative feelings fading....I can feel God working on me.....an workin' on gettin' me back on track [for I had 'seriously' went astray, for several yrs.....but have learned a LOT].....now....all that I want to do is....be there for people.....love them unconditionally....doesn't matter to me what a person has done.....or didn' do....I just love them.....I don't always take pleasure in the lifestyles of some.....but I swallow my winces...STILL love them....and I've also learned.....you can't force Christ onto the "lost souls", nor can you force him on fellow Christians [esp. those who struggle]....just be who He wants you to be....an love others, as He has loved us.....like this one song says...."we gotta do some talkin'....w/out saying a word.....if we don't have a caring heart, our voice can't be heard....people in trouble don't need a judge, what they need's a friend....gotta do like Jesus...and LOOOOVE them in" [from Ken Holloway's - Gotta Do Some Talkin']
Just take to heart.....an remember.....you ARE loved......and whether you carry a platter, or a saucer.....you're STILL loved AND accepted.....so, when in doubt....just remind yourself....like a friend told me once...."if God brought you to it, He'll get you through it".....an boy, does my heart weep for joy, when I tell myself that.....
Your "Sister In Christ"
Lisawc
