or is he just not that into me??

[biffy]

i had the best date of my life on saturday!!!!

i met the guy online and we talked for hours (up to 4 at a time) on the phone before the date and discussed how we got along incredibly well but also that he may not see me for a while after Saturday as he lives 4 hrs drive away on a farm and after "seeding" is going to France for a month then they have "harvest" on the farm so very difficult for him to get to the city even for a weekend.....

he emailed me saying that it was a good date, he wished me all the best too and that he didn't know when he'd see me again. Maybe our paths would cross again...

i'm serious it was the best date i've ever been on....any advice on what to do?? do i talk to him about it?? will that sound too keen?? do i just wait and see?? or is he just not that into me?? i mean if he felt what i feel he would find the time but then again...i'm not doing anything yet because i just haven't got a clue what on earth to do!!!!!!!

I hate dating this is driving me a bit mad......

 

[biffy]

i've posted this three times on different sites...what am i doing?? and i just realised at 26 i've never truely been in love...never felt like this...i'm so scared that i'm going to get hurt i'm wanting to forget i met him....it's really weird feeling?!?!!

 

[intricatic]

Be patient; if it's meant to be, something will come up, but definitely don't just leave it on the "back burner". Talk to him and see if there was any mutual interest. But be prepared if there isn't.

 

[JeremiahJ]

Yes. No backburners please. That's something we need to eliminate in our hearts in general. We have to bring things to the front burner. Maybe they'll fall on the floor, maybe they'll burn hotter. Either way, it's a lot healthier for our souls. Definitely talk to him about how you're feeling. He might deny you, then you can let go and move on. It's the "What if..." situations we put ourselves in that are the most painful.

 

[Argent]

He's not that into you.

Hey, if a guy's into you, he'll find a way around all those other things to spend time with you. Move on. Sounds like he is...to France...and my guess is that he likes French Toast, if you get what I mean.

And just because you had the best date of your life, it doesn't mean he did.

 

[biffy]

the france...farming...busy...came up only because we were wanting to spend more time together...and it was going to be tricky....he said well...we make time for those we want to spend time with don't we...then after the date he said what he said...he didn't know when he'd see me again...maybe our paths would cross again etc...he's 4 hrs away....i'm not sure what he meant by his response; and now i don't know what to do...i'm not sure whether i sould ask him/ talk to him about it at risk of looking like i'm trying too hard...or just be patient and wait...

 

[Mskedi]

"Maybe our paths would cross again" does not sound like he's asking for a second date.

 

[biffy]

oh
it's always good to get other perspectives...so these threads are good...i think i'm just going to go have a good cry now...you really think he dosen't want to know me? oh i'm not ready to hear that...ok...i had more excitement about it rather than thinking that...not so sure what to do now...hmmm

 

[stormgade4]

the france...farming...busy...came up only because we were wanting to spend more time together...and it was going to be tricky....he said well...we make time for those we want to spend time with don't we...then after the date he said what he said...he didn't know when he'd see me again...maybe our paths would cross again etc...he's 4 hrs away....i'm not sure what he meant by his response; and now i don't know what to do...i'm not sure whether i sould ask him/ talk to him about it at risk of looking like i'm trying too hard...or just be patient and wait...

I concur. Move on. I had almost the same thing happen to me a year ago. Best date of my life and after it, never heard from the girl again.

 

[biffy]

i'm a bit concerned...i was ready to talk about it with him and now i have quite a reluctance after reading the posts...the date was 2 days ago...wouldn't moving on be rushing into giving up here....shouldn't i be giving it at least another day or two??? i don't want to miss out by making the wrong assumption?!?! i was fairly sure he was leaving it open...to develop a friendship...we have only known eachother a month..maybe less....hmmm

 

[JeremiahJ]

Talk to him. Be prepared to let go. Don't do the "sorta hold on, sorta let go" thing.

 

[Argent]

Sweetheart, please, the "Maybe our paths will cross again." is clearly telling you that he's not interested in pursuing a relationship with you. You're infatuated, which can be a very strong emotion, but the sooner you stop entertaining dreams about life with this guy and forget him, the sooner you'll get over him.

Don't call him. You'll just look pitiful and clueless and like you're hounding him, and men hate to be hounded by a woman they've written off.

Sorry this is harsh, but this is a lesson in dating, and learning can be painful sometimes.

 

[JeremiahJ]

I'm largely agreed with Argent. However, sometimes I do think that it is necessary to call people and feel like you've done all you could in the relationship so that you're not holding onto the possibility of your paths crossing again. I'd still recommend calling him, especially if you think you might be waiting or hoping for him in the future.

 

[Bunnymedic]

I would move on,to be honest,from the things he has said he is not that into you.Don't let yourself get attached to this guy,it will only keep you from moving on,which you need to do.

 

[jlhart76]

When I started reading this, I tried to figure out how I posted something without knowing it. I'm going thru a similar situation. Met a guy, we've talked on the phone almost every day for 3 months, went out on 3 dates (our schedules don't match so it's been hard to get together). Then, last Fri he says he'll call me later & I haven't heard from him since. I finally emailed him & said I'd like to know if he's just been busy or do I need to get a clue. No reply yet, so I'm guessing I have my answer.

My advice is to buy a carton of triple chocolate chunk ice cream, rent Affair to Remember, wallow in self-pity for a few hours & then forget about him. If it's meant to be, it'll happen. If not, you can't spend your life moping around over "could've beens".

 

[Argent]

When I started reading this, I tried to figure out how I posted something without knowing it. I'm going thru a similar situation. Met a guy, we've talked on the phone almost every day for 3 months, went out on 3 dates (our schedules don't match so it's been hard to get together). Then, last Fri he says he'll call me later & I haven't heard from him since. I finally emailed him & said I'd like to know if he's just been busy or do I need to get a clue. No reply yet, so I'm guessing I have my answer.

My advice is to buy a carton of triple chocolate chunk ice cream, rent Affair to Remember, wallow in self-pity for a few hours & then forget about him. If it's meant to be, it'll happen. If not, you can't spend your life moping around over "could've beens".

No answer is still an answer.

 

[biffy]

but but but he will cross paths with me in 7 weeks we are both going to the same weekend thing (along with heaps and heaps of others) and we have alot of the same friends...but but does this make a difference??

 

[JeremiahJ]

biffy, you have to relax a little bit. We don't have all the answers, and we won't. You have to get out, live your life, take what comes, do what you gotta do, follow Jesus, and things will turn out for the best. Don't get all wrapped up in this guy. Your life doesn't hang on him. It hangs on Christ. Make sure that's your ultimate focus, or else things will be pretty messed up.

 

[biffy]

yeah i get ya...i'm just feeling a bit hurt by myself not him...i left the date saying to myself...i am so not worth someone like that...he gave me a hug when he saw me..made me laugh the entire time and well lets just say he was nutty enough to get us kicked out of the cafe...really funny guy...i guess i should take some time out to myself...level myself and decide what i want to do or more what God would want me to do...maybe i just need some prayer not "answers" from a message board...God will iron it out Himself...even if i do make a fool of myself in the process...hehe... i know me...when i am ready i will go and look for closure of some sort...and yes i know guys hate that but it's better than not being courageous enough to "live"

 

[GQ Chris]

Yeah, I agree with the others, he's not that into you, if he was, he'd go out of his way to be with you...