Oprah's show has me thinking....

[indagroove]

Oprah's show always gets me thinking I should have cut the cable coming into the house. The rating on that show makes my parental control on the cable box block it

The only thing I can tell a young couple.

If you are getting married to get love, or have some void filled, then do not do it.

Get married to give love, not get it. And you can only give the love you find in Christ.

And the biggest thing to remember is. There is no such thing as a perfect human being. We all have flaws. So do you hate the person that you loved because he _________ (Fill in your favorite peeve)

There is a big difference from knowing the true person, and being familur with every faccett of one's personality. It can take a lot of years, and different situations to have something surface. Unless the person was a complete fake while dating, then most people know what thwey are getting into. The error is in thinking the you can change another's habit or personality.

Pray together, and live your marriage according to God's word.

 

[starelda]

Yes, I think we both showed each other our true selves. It'd have been very hard not to since we started off as friends and then were together for over 4 years before marrying.

 

[llghoney]

Haven't read replies and I missed the Armstrong part (can anyone feel me in on what she said and why they divorced

She really didn't give one specific reason but she had let herself be soooo enthralled in Lance that she forgot who she was as a person. She basically had put Lance #1 in her life & now has put God #1 & gotten her life in order.

I have to say I have always been who I am I probably though coul dhave used some insight as to what marriage involves but I am who I am. It is important to not loose who you are.

 

[revkajewel]

I have to say what Lance Armstrong's ex-wife said was soooooooooo true!!! Everything she said from putting God first to keeping who you are in the marriage as well as being a couple.

I agree.
Oprah really got on my nerves. I never watch her show, but I had to see Kristin (Armstrong ?) since I'm in the heart of Lance country.
After she was no longer the focus of the show it went down hill really fast.
I hate how anti-marriage Oprah is.

I met my DH in August. We started dating in October. We got married in February. We were together 4 months before getting married. While I would definitely NOT recommend that, it has worked out for us. Here we are 9+ years later and I wouldn't change a thing.
Needless to say, we really got to know each other after we got married. I guess that's kinda what arranged marriages are like.

 

[Carri20]

Ah sheesh, I just read a Yahoo news article about Oprah being today's great spiritual leader. A "moral monitor", they call her. The voice of righteousness.

Tell you what, stick me on national television with that broad and I'll show you some moral monitoring...

 

[SweetBella]

I have to say what Lance Armstrong's ex-wife said was soooooooooo true!!! Everything she said from putting God first to keeping who you are in the marriage as well as being a couple.

 

[Redguard]

I'm not Oprah's spokesperson or anything...

But I'm seeing a lot of negative sentiment towards her, mostly due to accusations of her being anti-marriage.

Is there something wrong with being single? Also, when you live in a country where the divorce rate is somewhere around 50%, why is it so bad for a celebrity to have a skewed view towards marriage.

And if I can ask, are we all sure that Oprah is anti-marriage? Or is it more a case that she thinks that the immoral behaviours in our society prevent a lot of people from being able to maintain meaningful marriages?

i.e., due to the way that a lot of marriages have been sensationalized, people no longer understand what it means to be married, and enter a marriage unprepared.

 

[SweetBella]

I'm not Oprah's spokesperson or anything...

But I'm seeing a lot of negative sentiment towards her, mostly due to accusations of her being anti-marriage.

Is there something wrong with being single? Also, when you live in a country where the divorce rate is somewhere around 50%, why is it so bad for a celebrity to have a skewed view towards marriage.

And if I can ask, are we all sure that Oprah is anti-marriage? Or is it more a case that she thinks that the immoral behaviours in our society prevent a lot of people from being able to maintain meaningful marriages?

i.e., due to the way that a lot of marriages have been sensationalized, people no longer understand what it means to be married, and enter a marriage unprepared.

great points! totally agree!

 

[Cordy]

I'm not Oprah's spokesperson or anything...

But I'm seeing a lot of negative sentiment towards her, mostly due to accusations of her being anti-marriage.

Is there something wrong with being single? Also, when you live in a country where the divorce rate is somewhere around 50%, why is it so bad for a celebrity to have a skewed view towards marriage.

And if I can ask, are we all sure that Oprah is anti-marriage? Or is it more a case that she thinks that the immoral behaviours in our society prevent a lot of people from being able to maintain meaningful marriages?

i.e., due to the way that a lot of marriages have been sensationalized, people no longer understand what it means to be married, and enter a marriage unprepared.

Oprah said on this show that she would never get married, because she is scarred of losing herself, like many women do. She made a comment or two that could be interpreted that she has some bitterness or something toward marriage when she was talking to Armstrong's ex-wife, and Armstrong's ex-wife corrected her to ensure it wasn't being portrayed that women have to loose themselves in marriage -- and that a balance is possible. I think some people might interpret her decision to avoid marriage in her own life, and a few of those comments she made, to mean that she is against it altogether.

But I don't think Oprah is against marriage. I think she is just cautious about it. I suspect it is for similar reasons to what you explained, Redguard, as to why she has this view. There are many of messed up marriages out there. Many end it divorce.

She said marriage is fine for those who want to marry, but she encourages them to actually be ready to marry, and not get caught up in the engagement/marriage circus that so much of it has become. That part seems to make practical sense to me.

 

[Singin4Him]

Personally from the last half of it(watching it while cooking) I am annoyed. None of these marriages are Christian marriages, it's all about the secular ideals of marriage. I think if those couples had apprached marriage from a more Christian approach, they'd have realised it's a lot different than they think.

I do agree and completely related with this poster...

We absolutely didn't. We have recently been able to talk about it and confess to some things that have been annoying us about the other all these years. We were both too young and immature to marry when we did.

I suppose my best advice to an engaged or dating couple would be to "season" with a person. Don't make life decisions with this person until you have seen their behaviour over the course of a full year.

I'd say a person should know and be willing to accept the answers to these questions. How does this person deal with/handle:

Money Whether in debt or in excess.

The opposite sex. Not in a sexual manner, but in relationships. How does that young man relate to his mother or sisters? Female coworkers?

Temper. Is s/he prone to rages, or do they show little to no emotion at all? Both of those can be very damaging.

Disappointment. Does she fly into rages? Does he withdraw? Does she blame everyone else but herself? Does he internalize it unneccessarily?

I related to some of those women, especially what Lance Armstrong's wife had to say. That is something I have felt for some time now and it is something my husband and I are trying to work through. Linnis, it doesn't mean my husband and I did not approach marriage in a Christ-like manner because we did all the premarital counseling, classes, and seminars we could. We sought the Lord and wise counsel as much as possible. We were however young and I believe we might have jumped the gun a bit. This is something that we are now trying to work through. Even the strongest Christians can struggle in marriage and even make mistakes in who they marry but once the vows are said I believe that is it...as long as both are willing to do the hard work it takes to make it work, you can't force someone to remain married to you.

 

[llghoney]

She said marriage is fine for those who want to marry, but she encourages them to actually be ready to marry, and not get caught up in the engagement/marriage circus that so much of it has become. That part seems to make practical sense to me.

Yes makes perfect sense. Too many women get sooooo wrapped up in the ring & getting engaged & the wedding instead of realizing what marriage is really about.

 

[Darkhorse]

"Keep your eyes wide open before marriage - and half shut afterwards"

 

[WrightWife]

"Keep your eyes wide open before marriage - and half shut afterwards"

that's a good one...i love your insight

 

[Darkhorse]

Thanks - but I think this quote was from Ben Franklin!