Oppositial Defiance Disorder

[Traceyannegallagher]

Before I ask for ideas and suggestions. Here is some background. I suffer from aniexty, co dep, ptsd, adhd, and depression. I am divorce parent with joint custody of my two boys.

My youngest has ADHD with aniexty. Through working on my co dep issues I have been able to be a better parent for his adhd. Boundaries, consquences and sticking to them. The issue in the beginning is I didnt see some of the things that he did cause I do them. So now my eyes are open.

My oldest was just diagnose with this and aniexty. I am working on comphrending it. Again as they listed the things he does that qualifies him for this check mark for mom. Its a childhood disorder you dont get diagnose as adult. With that being said I am trying to open my eyes again to do what is best for him.

Also realize that I am divorce and have to fight tooth and nail on everything for my boys. The x and the wife blame me for everything that boys are going through its all my fault

Help!!

 

[eatenbylocusts]

God help you as you try to figure out ways to help your kids. Knowing what is wrong can sometimes be very helpful, assuming there is a correct diagnosis.

When my ds was having trouble in 1st grade I did a lot of reading and recognized myself as having ADD while trying to place the root of the problem (in my head) on his dad. There is something definitely wrong with my ex, but whatever it is I wasn't looking to "blame" him in a confronting manner just figure out why????? My ex couldn't help his genetic makeup, nor can anyone. It shouldn't be used as an excuse for bad behavior though.

If the ex is blaming you in a vindictive manner it might be helpful to share some reading materials with them which hopefully you have found or will find soon.

 

[Traceyannegallagher]

Thank you for your reply. I am just taking it one day at a time. I did talk to the couselor about some concerns so i am keeping a jounral til we see her next. For the reason I am not only ADHD but CO DEP so I tend to filter out things. We did the same to open with my youngest with his diagose so we are doing it again. You put the ODD aside the boys just need someone to relate to them. That is what I am doing. My oldest was around when we change things for his brother so he knows that we will do that again. He also knows that ODD, ADHD or not that does not change who he is and I will always love him and fight for him.