Opposites don't really attract

[Im_A]

London, July 11 (ANI): 'Opposites attract' is an age-old concept that has been batted around for centuries. And in fact, it is very true when it comes to falling in love.

But do opposites really attract? A new study has found that more often that not, similarity rules the day.

Researchers at Berkeley found that people are drawn to potential romantic partners if they are of their own or similar league and desirability, which they called the 'matching hypothesis'.

Personality traits and common interests do play a factor but for that instant attraction, like is drawn towards like, putting paid to the phrase 'You're out of my league', reports the Daily Mail.

The researchers measured the popularity of more than 3,000 heterosexual users of an online dating site and looked at the popularity of each.

Popularity was defined by the number of opposite-sex individuals who had sent unsolicited messages to a user.

Analyses indicated that high-popularity users contacted other popular users at a rate greater than would be expected by chance.

Similarly, the less popular users of the site also contacted other low-popularity users.

The researchers then conducted a follow-up study of more than a million users and found a similar result - when it comes to dating, potential mates stick to someone in their own league.

"Individuals on the dating market will assess their own self-worth and select partners whose social desirability approximately equals their own," said the researchers.

Using data collected in the laboratory and from users of a popular online dating site, the authors found evidence for matching based on self-worth, physical attractiveness, and popularity, but to different degrees and not always at the same stage of the dating process.

"The most striking prediction is that undesirable individuals will choose undesirable partners," the authors concluded. (ANI)


Opposites don't really attract, finds study - Yahoo! News


Makes sense and also makes me wonder why they had to do a study on something like this. Also, that last sentence about "undesirable individuals" makes me wonder how they define someone as undesirable?

I would question the validity of a study that involves unsolicited messages to make a point. Wonder if any of those messages were from spammers dictating to send a message because of a picture that looked good or real people.

Grant it, I am not trying to be super opposites attract either. I want my counter-part.

Simply because, if I would want someone exactly like myself, then my view of intimacy would be solely be about me, and all I would thus need is either a committed escort service, committed bar fly...pretty much just someone to have sex with. Wanting someone just like me would invalidate such needs of intimacy from one person and until the time of enlightenment or death, sex would be the only thing to be called for from the opposite sex from me. Self-indulgence from wanting someone exactly like ourselves is not a good thing as far as I am concerned. I already have myself all the time, there is not much more time that I can have myself available in a day. So I really don't want someone just like me. I have myself all the time thank you very much.

I don't want someone totally opposite than me either. I am not one of those guys that are up for challenge after challenge because of the natural/normal complacency/boredom that comes with long term relationships etc. I long for that complacency, that boredom because that means it is reliable. Plus I have no desire to be jumping around relationship after relationship like playing the game hot potato.

I want someone that is my counter part. Someone that we share similar things but we also can be very different at the same time. Someone that we compliment each other. It takes time to figure this stuff out though. I have found that there are people like me that I would say we are alike in various of ways yet we hold major things different than each other. Counter-parts make for better relationships.

Then again, sometimes people change, or show sides that the other side is intolerable of and everything ends. It is all a gamble in my eyes.

 

[Gwendolyn]

I'm not attracted to my opposite.

I'm attracted to men who have similar interests and similar dispositions to me.

 

[Lord Herdsetk]

Most redheads I know aren't all that attracted to redheads. Probably because we know how messed up we are.

I mean I like some redheads but not generally.

I'm a red head and I'm really attracted to redheads.