Opinions please

[madison1101]

I'd rather the fellow detox (over here, btw, DT usually refers to delerium tremens, not detox) in a dedicated detox unit, with 24hr surveilance and medical care! Failing that, in a hospital.

Of course, that's assuming he WANTS to detox. Presumably you're not implying that the wife should lock him forcibly in a room and MAKE him detox!

What branch of medicine are you in, AL? I never saw you mention that before!

Dts means delirium tremens here too. Detoxing in a medical facility is the ideal situation. A person with delirium tremens trying to detox could die without medical care.

However, the wife need not be in the person's life to detox.

What bothers me is that AutumnLeaf is putting the responsibility for the recovering addict on the wife, and not the addict. The wife is NOT responsible to make his recovery easier for him. She is responsible for taking care of her children and herself.

Another thing that bothers me is that AutumnLeaf is married and posting on the Divorce Support Forum. How can he empathize? I am at least divorced, not by my choice.

 

[InTheFlame]

What bothers me is that AutumnLeaf is putting the responsibility for the recovering addict on the wife, and not the addict. The wife is NOT responsible to make his recovery easier for him. She is responsible for taking care of her children and herself.

*nod* AL's posts are coming across that way to me, too - I'm not sure that's exactly what he means, though.

Another thing that bothers me is that AutumnLeaf is married and posting on the Divorce Support Forum. How can he empathize? I am at least divorced, not by my choice.

Whups... me too (married and not divorced).

 

[madison1101]

*nod* AL's posts are coming across that way to me, too - I'm not sure that's exactly what he means, though.


Whups... me too (married and not divorced).

Oops!!! Sorry. I guess I was generalizing because he was putting way too much responsibility on wife to make it easier for the addict/husband.

I guess it is okay to be married and give advice here.

Sorry for being so picky.

Irony is, I am a recovering alcoholic, and used to think like AutumnLeaf. I blamed my husband for making it too hard for me to get sober. If only he would......., I could stay sober. Blah, Blah, Blah!!!! What bull...

A recovering addict needs social support and therapy. Social support holds a person accountable to their sobriety, and gives a person shoulders to cry on, and people to talk to when they are tempted to pick up the drug or alcohol. Therapy helps the person clear out the emotional baggage that is triggering the drug use in the first place.

 

[madison1101]

It is usually people who have no idea how hard it is to get and stay sober to think that a person can just walk away from the drug or alcohol and not look back, or be tempted, or slip or relapse without social support or therapy.

 

[InTheFlame]

It is usually people who have no idea how hard it is to get and stay sober to think that a person can just walk away from the drug or alcohol and not look back, or be tempted, or slip or relapse without social support or therapy.

Mmmm... there's also a term used in AA (and probably other circles) - the 'dry drunk'. Someone who's not using the drug they were addicted to, but nevertheless still shows all the characteristics of an addict who hasn't healed from the underlying problems. And social support isn't the sole reason for AA etc, of course - it's a step back toward functioning in a caring family or community. Which is the whole original point of church, imo

 

[InTheFlame]

I guess it is okay to be married and give advice here.

Sorry for being so picky.

No worries, and I don't mind being asked to avoid posting here. I do post on occasion where I think I can offer life experience or a bit of wisdom - in all fairness, I think AL is too. It's just that I don't agree with his bits of either!

 

[madison1101]

No worries, and I don't mind being asked to avoid posting here. I do post on occasion where I think I can offer life experience or a bit of wisdom - in all fairness, I think AL is too. It's just that I don't agree with his bits of either!

No, please do not refrain from posting on account of my mispeaking. I was wrong to say what I said.

 

[trumpetgirl1]

I agree that Love must be tough. Dr. Dobson says that, only when the person is miserable and alone can he/she come out of their sickness and seek the help they need. I tried the whole love thing with my husband who is addicted to pornography. All he did was treat me worse and worse because he knew I wasn't going to do anything. Finally I kicked him out and he hasn't hit rock bottom yet but he's getting there. I think with men like this they need to be miserable and hit rock bottom in order to let God work in their lives and let go of the addiction.