Stringaling said:
I can understand your frustration. This came up on another group I belong to, and the topic got quite heated. The OP was asking about the phrase in the Bible that instructs wives to submit in everything. She asked if that meant that she was supposed to rob a bank if her husband instructed her to. Believe it or not, the owner of the group told her that if her husband instructed her to rob a bank, she would start making plans to rob a bank. Now, that is extreme, and hopefully a godly husband would not ask such a thing, but this same woman has also stated in the past that her husband insisted that she sleep with his best friend, so she did, believing that God wanted her to "submit in everything". The part of this passage that is so often left out is the preceding line: "As the church submits to Christ..." Christ would never ask us to sin. Robbing a bank and adultery are clearly sins. Therefore, if a husband asks these things of his wife, she is not obligated to follow these instructions, because that is not submitting as the church would submit to Christ.
I see the issue of birth control pills a little different. Since birth control pills were not yet developed when the Word was written, there really is no clear cut instruction as to whether or not it is sin. To some it is sin, because they see it as a cause of abortion. To others it may not be, because they do not see it that way. In that way, what is sin in the mind of the husband may not be sin in the mind of the wife (or the other way around). This issue seems to me to be more of a moral issue that has to be worked out between a husband and a wife. It isn't that God may or may not see it as sin - it is how we are looking at what the effects of birth control are, and what the definitiion of abortion is, also. Some people think abortions are planned termination of pregnancy. Others see it differently. So while there are no gray areas with clearly defined sin, such as adultery or robbery, other areas are not so clear cut, and become a matter of the conscience. In that way what may be sin to me (in other words, what may be sin in my mind) may not be sin to my husband.
God gave us each minds to use, and he speaks to us each differently. We are all unique individuals with individual needs. I know of some Christian sects that believe that sex between married couples should only occur for the purpose of pro-creation and on "special occasions, such as birthdays. So for them, my husband and I having sex any day but our birthdays would be sin, because we cannot pro-create. While I do not agree with their reasoning, they, in their hearts, believe that is what God has ordered for sexual relationships. I believe in submitting to my husband, but there are others who see this differently than I do. I know of a few who believe in the concept of mutual submission, and they have Bible passages to back that up. Perhaps because of who I am, God is speaking to me differently than he is speaking to others. If I did not submit to my husband, for me that would be sin. But I cannot tell another person that they are sinning because they believe God is speaking differently to them. Yes, sin is sin, but what is sin to one may not be sin to another. God's gift of a free will along with His gift of a conscience guides us in how we each hear His word.
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