Online Relationships

[MatthewDiscipleofGod]

Didn't read all the posts on here but most. I'm about to propose to someone I met online originally. We talk on the phone daily and see each other every weekend. I have met her family and she has met mine. Live about 4 and a half hours away. We have a strong trust and never would worry about what the other is doing when we are not together in person. We plan getting married later this year and I'm going to move out there and get a job. It's really something special and I have no doubts about the marriage. I hear so much negative stuff about online meetings but I have made plenty of friends and now a future wife online. Don't get me wrong though, there are many people online that you do have to watch out for as well.

 

[SenseiPiccolo]

I too had an online relationship,
she was from North Carolina
(im from Mississippi)
the relationship ended about the time she went to arkansas to finish up highschool...
We would call each other every night and talk for hours...
We got very close...
to the point that we knew what we would say before we said it--
I do miss her greatly...
(Princess Sarah)

My encouragement to you is to look at it as a blessing from God for allowing you to meet this person...
pray for that person...
Pray that above all else...
God's will be done in you life.

 

[JohnR7]

>>I am interested in hearing about what others think about online dating? Do you think it works? What are your feelings?

It use to work out pretty good, before computers became as popular as they are now. Because two people who shared so much of a common interest had just that, a lot in common with each other. Of course it takes God to really make a marriage work.

It is to bad that he is not able to openly discuss his reasons for wanting to break off the relationship. God does not approve of people leading others on, and then droping them like that. The Father does not like to see people get hurt. But Jesus is able to help you to recover and even cause good to come out of it. When you have faith and believe in what God can do in your life.

Pat Robertson has a pretty good teaching on marriage at http://209.15.80.77/200Questions/article.php?topic=13 I do not go along with all of his different teaching. But I think that what he says about this topic is pretty good. He has a nice balance of the law and the grace of God in regards to marriage.

I am married to a women from the Philippines that I met through the mail. Most of my good friends have wives from the Philippines that they met in the same way. Everyone is pretty happy with their marriage, even though no one knew their wife very well, before they got married. Of course that maybe more of a testimony to the easy going nature of the Philippine peope. The Christians that is, the Muslims are not so easy going.

For me, my wife and I are both going to heaven, and so even if we were just a brother and sister in the Lord, God wants to do a work in all of our lives that we can get along with each other. If she were ever to decide to walk away from God, then there are those that believe under the "Pauline Priviledge" we would be free from the marriage to a unbeliever under the grounds that they turned their back on God and abandoned us. Thanks, JohnR7

 

[SenseiPiccolo]

Thats great to JohnR7...
(but i thought the bible taought us not to marry different ethnic groups?)

 

[Navigator]

I met my wife of eight years, and mother of my three (soon to be four) children, online 10+ years ago.

Different than the internet, it was a local BBS that held meetings each week, so there was a more social aspect, and it wasn't a long distance relationship.

Pretty much meeting people online is the same and meeting them in person, you know next to nothing about them the very first time you meet them, and as you spend more time together you get to know them better, and you either grow in your relationship or you stray away.

Long distance relationships are HARD, and for people that are already close, electronic communication might help to solve the distance problem, but there is nothing like face-to-face communication.

anyhoo.. my $.02

 

[VoiceofAngels]

I unfortunatley know of many people lured away from relationships due to the suduction of the internet. I also know of people who fell in love with eachother over the internet. I think if it is of God it will work if not it will only cause you heartache but teach you a lesson you would not have learned any other way.

 

[SenseiPiccolo]

Originally posted by VoiceofAngels
I unfortunatley know of many people lured away from relationships due to the suduction of the internet. I also know of people who fell in love with eachother over the internet. I think if it is of God it will work if not it will only cause you heartache but teach you a lesson you would not have learned any other way.

Well said, I agree totally.
Whatever is God's will-- let God's will be done.

 

[JohnR7]

>>Thats great to JohnR7...
(but i thought the bible taought us not to marry different ethnic groups?)

I can see where someone would draw that conclusion from reading the old testiment. But the only thing the Bible prohibits is for a beliver to marry a non believer. In the Bible, Rahab and Ruth were not Hebrew, but they converted to their faith, and they are both in the genology of Jesus. Moses was married to a Ethiopian women. When his brother and sister spoke out against it: "the anger of the Lord was kindled against them...and Aaron looked upon Miriam, and, behold, she was leprous." Of course Moses wife was a Godly women, because her father was a priest of the most high God, and even helped Moses out quite a bit.

The Philippines were under American rule from 1898 to 1946 so they were pretty Americanized. English is a second language for them. But they begin to learn English in Kindergarden, and by the time they graduate from Collage, they know the English language pretty good. So they are not really all that much different of a ethnic group, although of course their race is Asian. I attended a Filipino Church service in Hong Kong once and out of kindness & hospitality toward me, they held the entire service in English. If I had not been there, they would have used their national language.

In Revelation we are given a vision where all tongues, nations, tribes and people are in Heaven in one mind and one accord, worshiping and praising God together. God intends to bring us all together as one, in Christ. Thanks, JohnR7

Ephes. 1:10
That in the dispensation of the fulness of times he might gather together in one all things in Christ, both which are in heaven, and which are on earth; even in him:

 

[The Taylor 310]

Hello~

I began my Internet usage in 1998... back then, i thought that basic services like web-based email and accessing foreign sites had a cost! haha...

Anyway, after i got to know the Internet, i went around online chat rooms... particularly Yahoo! Christian Chat. I wanted to have some fun, because i remembered my friends who had(have) AOL and chatted like every single day

Whilst being on Yahoo! Christian Chat, ive met a whole host of people, ranging from cheeky to absolutely a blessing. My first net friend is a girl from Australia (NQld) and you know what... were still friends Wow... its been what? Almost five years....

I met another Aussie chick (WA) and we developed a good friendship too. I met her as she just became a Christian and watched her life go into a little mini-drama. Sometimes, it was rough to chat with her or email her, because she went through some serious drama in her life (at one point, she rejected God, cursed Him and became a satanist). Although i dont talk to her nowadays, im sure that if we got the chance to talk again, we would

With these two chicks, weve exchanged heaps of emails and a few phone calls. My first net friend rang me first~ amazing... Even as we speak, im thinking of when i can ring her next time... hehe

Another meeting that helped me was meeting a pastor... again, from Australia (wow, youse Australians are awesome peoples!). Lived in NSW and we maintained a good relationship for two years. Sadly, he too had plenty of drama and ended up passing away last year by heart attack. But when he was living, he provided an open haven for me to challenge my faith and to grow spiritually

As for online dating and stuff, emotions can run high too. With my two Aussie chick friends, ill admit that i developed some emotions for them. But in the end, i realised that a long-distance relationship would clearly be hard. I didnt even bring it up with them, since i might end up losing a good FRIENDship

In all of this, i thank God that i did get to do something like this because the three people i mentioned above really did help me in so many ways. Reckon im one of the lucky ones

But then, NOTHING beats real, face-to-face communication. Yeah, the net version of life is fun and can help us sometimes, but we cant neglect that we ARE human. With my net friends, i had them during a time when i didnt have much of a social life, whether it be from school or even church. But now, i enjoy a really wonderful social life at church~

Before i end this, i could say that Net friendships changed me! How, you say? Well, i live in the US and i am a Korean, but because of my Australian friends, ive changed my English. I "try" to write in Anglicised English and have changed my Windows setting to match Australia's. hahahaha

Im not a dinky-di Aussie, but i think it sure would be fun to live there

Well anyways... online relationships, like real ones, should be weighed with caution and taken not TOO seriously!

 

[fieldmouse3]

I'm not a fan of online relationships myself, but i know it's worked for some people.

 

[Blackwing]

To each their own

Works for some, Does not work for some

 

[Iffy]

hiya, i agree with the people who said that online relationships are difficult but if it's God's will, it will work out. i have met people (platonic friendship) from the internet in person and always they were different from what i thought they were. not always in a bad way but just different. i also had strong feelings for a young man from the USA. he is now a Christian but i think he is still a baby in the faith. i don't hear from him anymore but i pray for him when i miss him. sometimes i feel extremely sad that i never got to meet him and i pray that if it is God's will that i get to meet him one day. the friendship was very special and what hurts most is that i don't hear from him anymore. what was difficult, was getting over him. how do you get over someone you've never met? i don't know. only with God's grace can i 'get over' him. it's been 5 /6 years since i first met him online. i still haven't got over him, i think. that's why i would discourage people from falling in love on the internet.

God bless,
iffy

 

[stargirl4God]

Meeting someone intially online is fine as long as it's safe.

Meeting someone online and having a romantic online relationship, is not good.

Everybody acts different when they talk to someone online. Whether it's because they have more time to think about what to say, or that it's easier to put on a false character, everyone acts different than they would in person.

I have many online friends that are very close to me. It's great. I'm all for online friendships. Online relationships are too risky.

You risk your heart, you risk your life (in some cases), you risk a lot. I don't believe online relationships that are soley left to be online relationships work out.

Now, if you meet the friend in person, and continue to get to know them that way, then sure. It could work. It didn't work for me, but it wasn't my fault. The guy was a cheating, lying, decieving person who used my faith against me.

He put a front on for me. Both online, and in person. He lived two hours away so it was easy for him to have a different character when he was around me, since he wasn't around me for very often.

But to get to my point... don't go online looking for a romantic relationship. I think it's incredibly stupid and will only end in heart break.

Go online to make friends. If you are able to get to know those friends very well in person, then hey. You never know.

Just remember to keep God the head pilot in this flight of life.

 

[Josephus]

WhitBit and I are meeting each other in a few weeks! I live in Colorado and she lives in Texas. We just met through the King's Tavern (she was on staff and is now in charge of the Prayer room) we actually only started chatting a month ago and some amazing things have taken place to make this wonderful surprise of timing happen.

I just thought I'd share here only in this thread because we're not too keen on announcing it to the world (since people when they say they will pray can and will often pray for the wrong things!), but we thought you Ebeth would love to know, as well as anyone who read this and decides to pray for us. God has been doing some amazing things, and I've come to know WhitBit as an awesome sister in Christ over these past few weeks, and I look forward to meeting her in Texas on our spring break. It appears now that circumstances are opening doors to having us visit sooner than we thought! *g

Of course, I never expected to possibly meet the woman God may have picked to be my future wife through my message board LOL, but, if this is the case, then God defiantely works in mysterious ways - and now that I recall much of what He has done in my life, these kind of "ways" seem more and more familiar. *g

be blessed, and pray wherever the Lord leads you.
Ryan (Josephus)
<><

 

[E-beth]

Josephus:

WHOOOOOOOO-----HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That is sooooooo awesome! I hope the meeting is everything you dream it will be. (And I think Elizabeth would be a GREAT name for a first born daughter... or is that jumping the gun a bit?!?!?!

I honestly believe you can really get to know someone from the inside out online. I think most people are MORE themselves online than when talking to not well-known people face to face.

I love how I had my last and best romance while sitting in my jammies with mudd mask on my face telling someone my greatest dreams and fears. Then I felt I knew him for years by the time we had met in person.

 

[Karen]

My hubby and I met online. We knew each other "online" for three months before we got married. We've been married for just over three years.

The fact is that if God is in it, it doesn't matter how you meet or whether you spend a lot of time together or not.

We spent hours on the phone together as well as emailing each other multiple times every day and sending snail mail.

After he proposed, we spent time looking for a home church together where he lived - he didn't assume that I would want to go where he did and I didn't assume that he would want to go to the same type of church I did.

Honestly, having been married before and being happily married and quite content now, I know that as long as God comes first, everything else will fall into place - whether you meet online or not.

AGIC,
Karen

 

[Blackwing]

That was nice

God shows His will in mysterious ways

 

[LouisBooth]

TEXAS??!?!?!?!?!? where in? Maybe I can drop by and meet ya too!! I'm in houston...but I wouldn't want to be a third wheel..

 

[Kiwi]

I have a friend who met a guy online who said he was a christian and sent a photo and everything, then she started getting flowers and presents from the guy, and then she found out that he was in his 50's, married, not a christian and everything else he had told her was pretty much false, she ended up having to move apartments and change email because he wouldn't leave her alone, just a cautionary tale.

 

[Josephus]

I hope to be staying with my grandparents in Dallas on the 9th-18th of March.