Online dating

[blackribbon]

I'm on a young widows forum where there are thread where they discuss their online dating experiences. Okay, this is not Christian forum..but there are Christians on it. Some of the experiences they talk about are enough to make me more than wary.

It seems a lot of men (and some women) seem to think discussing their sexual prowess is 1st date conversation material...(this is one of the few times when I am okay that the ladies excused themselves to go to the bathroom and left). There are a lot of men out there that are still taken care of by their moms. And women who are ready to go shopping for rings at the end of a pleasant first date with a decent guy (great family man widower got this). And there are numerous men that think they will win a woman with pictures of their male parts (trust me guys, you do NOT want to be the subject of the jokes of these women...and not a single one is EVER turned on...the general consensus is "ewww and ewwww again".

I know once early into my single journey, I actually set up a profile that said very specifically that I was just looking for someone to hang out with and not really ready for a relationship. My first reply was from someone in Montana...not exactly sure how he planned to just "hang out" with someone in Texas (so I know he doesn't "listen" very well). The other one was from another city in Texas..but he was offering to take care of "my needs"....ewwww! I immediately made my profile "invisible" and have stayed way since.

Yes, my aunt met her husband online...but I think that the negatives outweigh the positives. Even the "christian" sites worry me when I hear about how some "christians" behave. One widower was proposition IN church...in front of his children! (she offered to come eat ice cream off his body)...his nine year old daughter asked him in the car coming home "I wonder what flavor of ice cream that lady likes?"

Have people actually had good experiences? or anyone want to post a "horror" story?

 

[renewed21]

As for discussing sexual prowess, I'm thinking how clueless are these men? That's really strange.And I can't even begin to understand the sending pics of mr.winkie strategy. I guess it falls back to the fact that men are visual creatures. As a side note, I'd be interested in getting a good laugh if I were you ladies, therefore encouragement of receive pics would be in order.


Interesting post blackribbon. IMO the issues brought up stems from the premise of "because I say I'm a Christian it doesn't mean that I am".
I cannot give any experiences of online dating because I have never done it. But there has to be some genuine people out there.

 

[blackribbon]

I am fairly sure that most of these ladies just end contact with the guys that send these pictures. I am glad the topic came up because some of the ladies were wondering what was wrong with their profiles that attracted these types of responses. It appears that just being female is all it takes. I also posted this so that the men don't see these posts and think that some of us really welcome them. Men find us mysterious creatures and tend to copy what they think might work. Just letting anyone who wonders...no, it doesn't and does quite the opposite.

I think that "I am a Christian because I say I am" is the problem with the "Christian" dating sites. Too many people believe "Christian" is the same as "trying to be good"...and isn't really a belief system that guides their life. However, I tend to prefer to assume that someone is a Christian who claims to be until they show through their life that they might not be.

 

[exitstageright]

I'm on a young widows forum where there are thread where they discuss their online dating experiences. Okay, this is not Christian forum..but there are Christians on it. Some of the experiences they talk about are enough to make me more than wary.

It seems a lot of men (and some women) seem to think discussing their sexual prowess is 1st date conversation material...(this is one of the few times when I am okay that the ladies excused themselves to go to the bathroom and left). There are a lot of men out there that are still taken care of by their moms. And women who are ready to go shopping for rings at the end of a pleasant first date with a decent guy (great family man widower got this). And there are numerous men that think they will win a woman with pictures of their male parts (trust me guys, you do NOT want to be the subject of the jokes of these women...and not a single one is EVER turned on...the general consensus is "ewww and ewwww again".

I know once early into my single journey, I actually set up a profile that said very specifically that I was just looking for someone to hang out with and not really ready for a relationship. My first reply was from someone in Montana...not exactly sure how he planned to just "hang out" with someone in Texas (so I know he doesn't "listen" very well). The other one was from another city in Texas..but he was offering to take care of "my needs"....ewwww! I immediately made my profile "invisible" and have stayed way since.

Yes, my aunt met her husband online...but I think that the negatives outweigh the positives. Even the "christian" sites worry me when I hear about how some "christians" behave. One widower was proposition IN church...in front of his children! (she offered to come eat ice cream off his body)...his nine year old daughter asked him in the car coming home "I wonder what flavor of ice cream that lady likes?"

Have people actually had good experiences? or anyone want to post a "horror" story?

It is hard for me to believe some of these things are actually happeing! I guess,because it is not happening to me. Of course,I would be shocked,if a woman told me,while in church,that she wanted to eat ice cream off of my body.
You are right.Some men have no clue that women are not turned on by pictures of their junk. Of course,we should not call it" junk". Because,GOD made our body part parts,and GOD does not make junk.

Anyways,I think the main reason for internet dating is not that people are too busy. It is because so many people nowadays,while wearing ear phones to their ipods,are in their "own world."

I admit that I wear ear plugs,while listening to music,while walking a mile in the neigborhood and/or on the stationary bike at the gym. Excercise is good,but it is boring without music. But,When I am riding on a plane,boat,or train,I like to talk to people. Most people do not know how to talk to somone whom they do not know. In the San Francisco Bay Area,there are over 9,000,000 people here. Yet,I hear women complain that they cannot meet anyone here in the Bay Area. Well,IMHO.they would meet people on the train,if the would come out of their insulated "world",and talk to people.
'

 

[blackribbon]

I think you have a very valid point here. I find even in the bleachers, I find the parents are often plugged into various electronic devices...probably trying to use the time to their best advantage. However, I notice that most quickly unplug if I engage them in a conversation...many almost seem starved to talk to other people. Me, I'll talk to people in the grocery store line...kind of side effect of not having any adult conversation any other way.

 

[Life2Christ]

Well I started a thread a few weeks ago about Christian Mingle and how horrible it is but I don't do online dating. Mostly because I don't want to put myself out there to be ranked from 1-10, like men love to do to women.

 

[renewed21]

Well I started a thread a few weeks ago about Christian Mingle and how horrible it is but I don't do online dating. Mostly because I don't want to put myself out there to be ranked from 1-10, like men love to do to women.

I'm sorry that you have had trouble with the experiences on the sites Life2Christ. Maybe try again?

IMO Life2Christ, it is not a gender-specific trait, it is a universal one. All our original natures are inclined to do so. Probably all of us (myself included obviously) are guilty to some extent, where it be upon looks , money, personality, genuineness, etc. I guess what i'm saying is that we all are going to be judged in some manner of facet of our life.

Maybe the whole process of "dating" is just not pretty by nature. Maybe the hardness of it makes the fruits all the better; in the sense that if 2 people go through the crap than it makes the bond stronger (aside from the relationship being Christ-centered which we all know to be the case, or should know to be the case). Just my opinions.

 

[Life2Christ]

Probably all of us (myself included obviously) are guilty to some extent, where it be upon looks , money, personality, genuineness, etc. I guess what i'm saying is that we all are going to be judged in some manner of facet of our life.

Yeah and that stinks. I guess we all judge each other, naturally. I have the perfect man in my head and I know he's out there some place. Maybe I'll never meet him. I'm not one of those women who cares about a guy being rich (as long as he's gainfully employed and can support himself). I care about a guy who puts Jesus first and is humble and caring and interesting. And kind and who loves kids and animals. He can't be an ex-con or a freak. Plus I don't like men with a long sexual history. Too many girls and exes lurking in the background. I've already been there/done that with my ex-husband.

I don't think that is asking for too much.