One more day ...

[AirForceTeacher]

Tomorrow is the court date for final dissolution. I'm ready, but it's bittersweet. I'll be free, and on the downslope now for alimony - unless I agree to contractual, it's over in 6 months.

Whew - feels like it took forever.

 

[Autumnleaf]

Good for you. Will you be updating your picture so we can see you without the mask? The Joker look is so last century. That is, unless you wait until the new Batman movie comes out. In that case it might make a comeback like bell bottoms did.

 

[ShainaBrina]

May the Lord grant you favour.

 

[AirForceTeacher]

Good for you. Will you be updating your picture so we can see you without the mask? The Joker look is so last century. That is, unless you wait until the new Batman movie comes out. In that case it might make a comeback like bell bottoms did.

the Joker is timeless ... I am looking for a green wig I can put gel in so I can update to the Heath Ledger Joker this year.

As far as my real face, just click my profile to see my dashing self in uniform.

 

[Autumnleaf]

the Joker is timeless ... I am looking for a green wig I can put gel in so I can update to the Heath Ledger Joker this year.

As far as my real face, just click my profile to see my dashing self in uniform.

Wow, if my sister was single I'd make introductions.

 

[AirForceTeacher]

And it's done.

 

[FaithfulWife]

Soooooo...how did it go?

Please tell us more than "...and it's done." Enquiring minds want to know how you are and how it went. Do you feel happy and sad at the same time? Did you carry yourself well?

Well...no matter how it went or how you are, it's done now. Honestly from this point forward, with your ex and her lawyer being demanding and not negotiating, I would just leave it in the hands of the judge to determine the division of things because then you can legitimately say, "This was not me being mean or selfish (as she sometimes accuses) but an impartial judge being fair according to the laws of our society" and maybe it will begin to hit her the cost of the choices she's made.

Okay...I'm glad you're free but still feel a bit .


~Faithful

 

[AirForceTeacher]

Thanks. Someone on another forum gave me a good word for how I feel: stukkend. Its from Afrikaans.

All today did was set the divorce final. I am officially single - we can both go and do as we please. The property, c/s and alimony still have to be dealt with, but now there's a timetable - if it's not set within 6 mos, temporary spousal support ends. Maybe this will light a fire.

 

[FaithfulWife]

I might politely point out that judges love to stick with the "status quo" so if you're happy with the way things are right now (I mean finances and custody) there is a chance he'll say, "I order what is already happening..." and it will stay like this. Hmmm...."happy" is the wrong word but how about satisfied or at least content to continue it. If you do NOT want to continue it, there are no orders right now so I'd suggest speaking to your lawyer and going to doing now what you want the outcome to be.

Status quo!

And I don't know whether to congratulate you or sympathize (or both) but... well it is finished.

 

[AirForceTeacher]

As I understand my lawyer, and my own reading of the law, he can't. Spousal support is only available during the interim before filing, and permanent ss only happens if she can prove 0% fault, which is laughable. So, the status quo can only last for 6 months unless I agree to keep it there.

 

[Autumnleaf]

As I understand my lawyer, and my own reading of the law, he can't. Spousal support is only available during the interim before filing, and permanent ss only happens if she can prove 0% fault, which is laughable. So, the status quo can only last for 6 months unless I agree to keep it there.

Are you going to give it to her?

 

[AirForceTeacher]

No, I can't stay on this scehdule forever. I need to start rebuilding my life. I don't want to spend the next ten years living in crappy apartments because she didn't want to play house anymore. I want to buy my own house or a building downtown and refurb it as a loft.

 

[eatenbylocusts]

I will say congratulations because I know the decree can help with moving on.

 

[Autumnleaf]

No, I can't stay on this scehdule forever. I need to start rebuilding my life. I don't want to spend the next ten years living in crappy apartments because she didn't want to play house anymore. I want to buy my own house or a building downtown and refurb it as a loft.

Good for you. You are like the Phoenix rising from the ashes of your former self.

 

[Lisa004]

AFT,

I don't know if you remember me I had the log in of cjba. It has been a very long time since I have been on this site. It was surprising to me to see what has transpired for you in this time.

All I can say is I wish you the best of luck in this new season of your life. I pray it has brought you more peace to have all this come to an end.

 

[AirForceTeacher]

AFT,

I don't know if you remember me I had the log in of cjba. It has been a very long time since I have been on this site. It was surprising to me to see what has transpired for you in this time.

All I can say is I wish you the best of luck in this new season of your life. I pray it has brought you more peace to have all this come to an end.

CJ!!!!!!! WOOOT!!! How are you??

 

[Lisa004]

AFT,

Still strugling with the concept of divorce. Stupid, I know because of the time that has passed. He now lives with his girlfriend (a new one - a relative of my soon to be ex-sister-in-laws ex-husband - weird). She is 10 years older than me and a grandmother. My oldest no longer speaks to him, my second daughter moved out because she could not handle the situation any more. My son annouced to me about a week ago he is suicidal and thinks his dad is a jerk. When I told my husband of the situation, his first word to me was, "whatever". He has not called once to check on my son. He has spoken to my son a couple of times but, my son won't tell him anything. My little one is hanging on as best as she can. None of my children went to see their father on Father's Day. Now this caught the attention of my soon to be ex-mother-in-law. He told everyone I wanted the divorce. Now she is upset about what her son is doing. I told her it is a little too late. She had left the country when all this happened in the beginning. She comes back for a short time and then leaves. Now she wants to sit him down and talk some sence into him. I told her it is too later because he is too far gone.

I continue to pray for him and the situation. Only time will tell what the outcome will be. At the end I think he will be the loser because material things do not matter. He has almost lost all of his children. Many times my two younger children will make an excuse not to see him.

Hope to hear from you!

Take care

Now you are thinking why did I ask. lol

My next court date is June 13th. No, it is not final. Last time we went he was refusing to sign due to the child support he is suppose to pay. I finally started receiving child support in December, yes it took 1 year and 2 month for me to receive a cent. As soon as my son graduated High School, which was only 2 weeks ago, he was cut off from child support.

Whatever you do stay in the life of your children. It is a very emotional time for the kids.

 

[AirForceTeacher]

Just got back from a week at Creation 2008 with the kids. Absolutely in their lives.

I am really sorry you're going thru this - I remember 4 years ago when we talked and how bad it was then too - how stressed we both were. I hope your life can start picking up.

 

[Lisa004]

AFT,

Happy to hear you are in your children lives. It is so important for the children to know they still have both parents. Did you get a good visitation schedule?

I would of never thought my children would react the way they are because of their ages. I now think it is easier to divorce when the children are younger. It is so common and they can relate with their friends. When they are older they have had the stability for so long and this is a good thing. But I think it is a bigger destruction at the end. The first 6 months they were against me. It was due to him telling him I wanted the divorce to begin with. Another lie! They came around in time and saw him for what he is now. He was a good man, husband and father. Something got unscrewed upstairs. lol

On a good note I decided to go back to school. This helps keep my mind off the problems. So I am a university student along with two of my children. My son will start in the fall. It is funny when we were all going after the computer and laptops in the house. I would have to wait a turn with them. The rule is you cannot have a computer or laptop while on the phone or watching television. It is funny I did teach my children to multi-task, but when it comes to the computer it is not allowed. lol I broke down and bought another laptop. So one more to go and then each of the kids will have one. This will leave me with the computer all to myself. lol

So how do you feel now that it is final? Do you have peace knowing you tried to save the marriage in the beginning? Sorry, I have not read all the post to be up to date if you already wrote about all this.

I remember when we first started communicating it was right before you moved into I think a friends place. Then the last time I was on, you two were in a dancing class. I really thought you two were going to pull it off.

How does it feel now? Do you feel a since of closure from what I call a nightmare to others it is a blessing? The good part is now you can start to get order into your life and can start rebuilding your life.

 

[dragoniatiegre]

Well, I know it's a bit belated, but congrats on the finalization, Capt. (sorry if you were promoted to Maj. since your pic.) I can only imaging what a sense of relief it is to have that chapter of your life close; I myself am still in that chapter, and awaiting a final dissolution of my marriage.

I wish you the best in your new life.