One flesh

[queenm04]

Having read the piece below, is sharing a common vision of going to heaven enough to sustain a relationship? Any cases in point where partners share one direction / one vision?

"...And they shall become one flesh" (Gen. 2:24). In marriage, God has called two to become one, to be united in attitude, mind, vision, and direction. This is why singles need to come to a unity of mind and heart before they marry. Many people simply come to a unity in an attitude of the physical relationship, but they never come to a unity in their mind, vision, direction, intention, and purpose in life.


Many people marry and later discover that the person they married has a different plan for life. They say, "I didn't know that's what he (or she) wanted to do." Yet, I'm wondering, "How did they ever get married without coming to that place of unity?
Extract from an article, titled - One flesh - at cfaith.com sorry can’t find proper link)

 

[Jenna]

Having read the piece below, is sharing a common vision of going to heaven enough to sustain a relationship? Any cases in point where partners share one direction / one vision?

Er..no, I don't think that having a common vision of going to heaven will sustain anything. I think that having a common dedication to the Lord and His Will for us will sustain a relationship though. It isn't so much about the direction. When my husband and I married, we had no idea where we were going to go from there. We didn't really have direction at all, let alone common direction. Still, through lots of prayer, Bible study, submission, and soft hearts, we have managed to make some great progress in our endeavor to be ONE FLESH in more than just the most physical sense.

 

[DJFelton]

It takes more than a shared vision to sustain a marriage. It takes love (for God and for your spouse). Jesus said if you love me, obey my commandments. One commandment from God is to honor the marriage relationship by not committing adultry, which means that you will never divorse, therefore the marriage will have been sustained. But it is not easy. Even when we marry and become one flesh, we are still two people with our own ideas, goals, perceptions, etc. What we are called to do is to brind our ideas, goals, and perceptions together so that they serve to strengthen the marriage and ultimately glorify God. But remember, Paul warns in 1 Corinthians 7:28 that married couples will face many tribulations. So be warned, sustaining a glorified marriage is not easy. But neither is living a sanctified life for God. But we as Christians are called to do both. So let us run the race that has been given us.

By the way, my wife and I are of like mind on many things. We both want to glorify God with our marriage, we both want what's best for our kids, we both have a similar outlook on money and stewardship, and we both work in the same profession too. Thank you God for my wife!!!

 

[Leanna]

No, it isn't enough. You have to have other things in common also or living together and raising children won't be enjoyed as it should be.

 

[selune]

Having read the piece below, is sharing a common vision of going to heaven enough to sustain a relationship? Any cases in point where partners share one direction / one vision?

"...And they shall become one flesh" (Gen. 2:24). In marriage, God has called two to become one, to be united in attitude, mind, vision, and direction. This is why singles need to come to a unity of mind and heart before they marry. Many people simply come to a unity in an attitude of the physical relationship, but they never come to a unity in their mind, vision, direction, intention, and purpose in life.


Many people marry and later discover that the person they married has a different plan for life. They say, "I didn't know that's what he (or she) wanted to do." Yet, I'm wondering, "How did they ever get married without coming to that place of unity?
Extract from an article, titled - One flesh - at cfaith.com sorry can’t find proper link)

I think that people will rarely share the same direction/purpose in life completely. We all have different goals and abilities that we use to get to those goals. Now as for not knowing your spouse's ambitions and dreams, I think that many people don't talk enough before getting married. And some people don't discover their talent or purpose until later in life which could be a surprise to their spouse.

 

[alecs2001us]

Do you need to be compatible to stay in a relationship?

 

[selune]

Compatible on some level. If you are constantly at odds I don't think the marriage would thrive.

 

[alecs2001us]

my boyfriend and i have issues on gay marriages and evolution. i believe that gay marriages is not right but i dont condemn them. i dont go out and get in their face and tell them that they're sinners. I believe that whatever their decisions are, they will be the one to answer it infront of God. And for evolution, i believe in what the bible says in the Bible. I believe that God created us in His image and evolution is a science that's needed to be proven.

 

[Jenna]

Do you need to be compatible to stay in a relationship?

Absolutely not. Staying in a marriage is a decision, and it doesn't have to be based on something so changing as compatibility. As far as what it takes for people to be compatible enough to thrive and enjoy each other's company within a marriage, you'll get a different opinion from each person who has one to give.

 

[alecs2001us]

im afraid that whenever me and my boyfriend always have a big fight, he often tells me that since we dont agree on some political and spiritual issues we will not be able to make it in the future. he thinks that because i dont agree on gay marriages and evolution, it will be difficult for us when we have kids....i told him that not all married couples agree on those issues and that we're going to sit down with the kids and explain both our sides and hope that they're going to grow up as what God wants them to be.

 

[Jenna]

There will always be disagreements. Children definitely make things more complicated, to an extent that you probably won't completely understand until it comes up. But, I have yet to find any problem or situation that the Lord cannot overcome and lead us through.

 

[alecs2001us]

I wish that my boyfriend will see pass through this issues because if he cant i dont think that we will be able to make it.

one more thing, he hates it when i tell him what to wear...he thinks that im trying to control him...i dont want him to look scruffy when he goes out or when we're together...what he looks like reflects me...am i being selfish?

 

[selune]

Um, he's an adult. You can suggest something, but what you're probably accomplishing is making him feel like a little boy who's mom keeps telling him to clean up and dress better. No offense, but that may be how he's taking it.

 

[alecs2001us]

i dont tell him to clean up or make him feel like a little boy. my intentions are good because like i said, i dont like him to look scruffy. i believe a lot of women would like their man to look good.

 

[DJFelton]

The problem is that he may think he already loks good, so your requests to change his appearance only says you don't think he looks good.

 

[alecs2001us]

Men dont really care what they look like but it's different with women. We care that we look good and smell good, he's doenst smell (i make sure that he smells yummy ). i guess a lot of women would agree with me that u dont want ur men to look scruffy because it reflects the woman he's with, AM I RIGHT?

 

[selune]

Nope, I let my guy be how he is. He knows how to dress himself and when he needs to dress up. I don't think that he needs to have me telling him what to wear and when to shave and so on. I'm glad I have him and don't worry what others think.

 

[alecs2001us]

all the women ive talked to said they agree with me. its not like i force him to wear something, i explain (or probably convince :o ) to him that he'll look better if he wears something thats not faded or better size or better color...somethings he thinks its cute, sometimes he thinks im just whipping his butt...

 

[Jenna]

Yeah, you should probably leave it up to him to ask for your 'help' when he wants it. Otherwise it makes it seem as though you aren't happy to have him as he is, and want to mold him to what you want. If you don't like the way that he likes to look on his own, then maybe you should re-evaluate what you really like about him, eh?

 

[alecs2001us]

i guess thats what i need to do. he's coming home from his trip. do u have any suggestions as to how to welcome him home when we're not really in good terms right now...