On the brink

[dabro]

Now I don't need assurance that I'm alive. It's just this stupid disorder is waxing and waning so much that I'm like well almost got past that one but OCD always finds a way to get a grip. I'm exhausted and mad. I'm fed up with this lie. So much energy put into something that disables me. Satan has to have a hand in this because my witness is zero. And all I'm ever thinking about is it almost over or oh crud we have to go thru this again. I'm tired I know I'll never bee 100% sure that I'm not at God's Judgement but IDK>

 

[dabro]

I'm just going to accept the anxiety and stop my xanax. Give it a litl break with my doctor knowing and I think I need to learn more ways to handle myself when it comes to this anxiety.

 

[gracealone]

It's OK... be mad.... I get mad too when I get knocked down by it, yet again. I sometimes sing to myself.... "Yep... still crazy after all these years...." The only hand Satan has in this is to oppress and try to get us to despair over it. But really, Dabro, how has he won? Has he stopped you from following Christ? Has he caused you to turn your back on your decision to commit your life to your Savior? I totally disagree with you as to your witness being zero. You feel weak but you have continued through all of this to praise the name of Christ. I've seen you do that over and over. If anything the fact that you keep on keeping on when it comes to your faith in Christ is a powerful witness. And I'll tell you what else. It's often better for me to be unaware that God is still using me than to be aware of it. When I become aware of it, I'm all too quick to pat myself on the back for it as if I deserve credit for something He's doing in and through me. So my OCD helps to keep that ugly side of me in check.
Nothing can stop you for your decision to follow Christ. OCD can scream at you all it wants, it can make you feel excruciatingly anxious but it does not rule your will. So walk, even if every step is painful, and it's the walking even in the pain that will make your faith to shine eternally.
I'm praying for you... I know it really hurts.
Mitzi

Now I don't need assurance that I'm alive. It's just this stupid disorder is waxing and waning so much that I'm like well almost got past that one but OCD always finds a way to get a grip. I'm exhausted and mad. I'm fed up with this lie. So much energy put into something that disables me. Satan has to have a hand in this because my witness is zero. And all I'm ever thinking about is it almost over or oh crud we have to go thru this again. I'm tired I know I'll never bee 100% sure that I'm not at God's Judgement but IDK>

 

[dabro]

No I'm just getting mad because no sooner I start to feel it lift something as easy as a dream will trip me up. And what I meant about witness I used to go to anyone and share the gospals. I don't do that anymore. It has taken all my time up just worrying about a stupid fear that isn't even there.

 

[dabro]

See I just woke up spiking. I can't keep on doing this. I know what I don't need and what I do. I just don't understand why things are falling apart as they go.

 

[simplee_mandee]

No I'm just getting mad because no sooner I start to feel it lift something as easy as a dream will trip me up. And what I meant about witness I used to go to anyone and share the gospals. I don't do that anymore. It has taken all my time up just worrying about a stupid fear that isn't even there.

I know exactly how you feel its the same exact thing here... Its like your running around in a circle sometimes I been getting mad lately too (but I am feeling peaceful at the moment. The Lord is giving me rest.) I been having the most horrible dreams and visions relating too it too .

The other night I was lying in my bed awake and had a vision of a grave and the words "I'm Done" were carved into it... Also horrid images of a zombies face :/. I think our guilty conscience is making us have all these dreams (or visions in my case). The devil would love for us to think that we have no hope when we actually do because he is the hopeless one!

I wouldn't be surprised if half the time his minions are whispering this trash into our ear w/o even being aware of it I read a while back that ocd can be partially due to a vitamin imbalance and that omega 3 fatty acids such as cod liver, fish, or flaxseed oil and that magnesium can help. I been taking them for a week and I feel my thoughts have improved.

Don't give up hope in our case we really have to have strong faith . We can't let the flesh of our ocd or foul spirits separate us from God's love! Plus the Lord knows our hearts and since He made us He knows our ocd makes us struggle and He understands its not how we truly feel.

Also this can be hard to keep up with but you have to forgive yourself, put it behind you, and truly believe that you are forgiven. It can be helpful to look up scripture that you can relate to and meditate on them.


If you need anybody to talk to feel free to message me ! I will add you to my prayer list, I hope the Lord will help you with you ocd.


All that the Father gives me shall come to me; and he that comes to me I will in no wise cast out. (John 6:37)

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. (Romans 7:15-20)

He heals the brokenhearted
and binds up their wounds.
He determines the number of the stars
and calls them each by name.
Great is our Lord and mighty in power;
his understanding has no limit. (Psalm 147:3-5)

For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38-39)

And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father's hand.
(John 10:28-29)

 

[dabro]

I know exactly how you feel its the same exact thing here... Its like your running around in a circle sometimes I been getting mad lately too (but I am feeling peaceful at the moment. The Lord is giving me rest.) I been having the most horrible dreams and visions relating too it too .

The other night I was lying in my bed awake and had a vision of a grave and the words "I'm Done" were carved into it... Also horrid images of a zombies face :/. I think our guilty conscience is making us have all these dreams (or visions in my case). The devil would love for us to think that we have no hope when we actually do because he is the hopeless one!

I wouldn't be surprised if half the time his minions are whispering this trash into our ear w/o even being aware of it I read a while back that ocd can be partially due to a vitamin imbalance and that omega 3 fatty acids such as cod liver, fish, or flaxseed oil and that magnesium can help. I been taking them for a week and I feel my thoughts have improved.

Don't give up hope in our case we really have to have strong faith . We can't let the flesh of our ocd or foul spirits separate us from God's love! Plus the Lord knows our hearts and since He made us He knows our ocd makes us struggle and He understands its not how we truly feel.

Also this can be hard to keep up with but you have to forgive yourself, put it behind you, and truly believe that you are forgiven. It can be helpful to look up scripture that you can relate to and meditate on them.


If you need anybody to talk to feel free to message me ! I will add you to my prayer list, I hope the Lord will help you with you ocd.


All that the Father gives me shall come to me; and he that comes to me I will in no wise cast out. (John 6:37)

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. (Romans 7:15-20)

He heals the brokenhearted
and binds up their wounds.
He determines the number of the stars
and calls them each by name.
Great is our Lord and mighty in power;
his understanding has no limit. (Psalm 147:3-5)

For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38-39)

And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father's hand.
(John 10:28-29)

Thats awsome. It brought me peace inside. Thank you.

 

[simplee_mandee]

Thats awsome. It brought me peace inside. Thank you.

Thank God! I'm glad to hear that it brought you peace and your welcome !

 

[Christian-Catholic]

Dabro, your faith is so amazing. To go through this hell and praise the Lords name
Everytime you praise his name through the ocd, God and all his angles in Heaven are Rejoicing while Satan is probably at his wits end pulling his hair out (if he has any left lol).