On hitting 40

[E-beth]

So....here I am, fresh from the 30's forum. I remember when my mom was 29, and I thought that was so old!!!!

I had a surprisingly hard time with this birthday. Normally I don't care a whit about age, but I sorta got reflective when I turned 40. How was YOUR fortieth? What do you think is good about being 40, as opposed to any other decade?

 

[virtualgirl]

Hello. Welcome to the Fab 40's.

I had a total meltdown during my 39th year because I knew my next birthday was the BIG 4-0!! It was hard for me.

Now that I think back on it I realize how dumb that was. Being in my 40's is great. I may have another meltdown when I turn 49 though.

 

[Jenster]

Hi! Welcome!

Yeah, for me, it's not the big decade numbers that are hard for me (30, 40) but the ones halfway in between, like 35. That's when it's undeniable that I am OF that decade. (In my early 30s, I could still rationalize I was *almost* still a 20something, lol.)

I've been reflective for awhile. It comes from being at my job for a decade and wondering what else there is out there. It comes from still being single. It comes from just wondering what God's going to do next.

It comes from a feeling of "been there, done that." Activities aren't as new and fresh anymore. I've got a lot of experiences under my belt -- ministries I've participated in, work I've done, friendships that have come and gone, singles activities that feel like "old hat" now and not so exciting. (BTW, I've got a related thread in this forum, titled something like "Mid-life crisis." You might wish to check it out.)

The good thing about being in my 40s? Wisdom. Feeling more like I know myself, including my flaws and my tendencies. Knowing how to manage myself a *bit* better. A slightly broader perspective on life and the world. More appreciation for God's love and faithfulness (based on experience). Seeing insecurities fade. For example, recently I attended a dinner, and a person at my table dominated the conversation for several hours, always drawing the discussion back to themself. When I was younger, that would have really bothered me. But this time it didn't. I didn't feel a need to insert myself into the conversation. True, it was boring to listen to, but it didn't affect my sense of my own security like it would have when I was younger.

So what are some of the things you are reflecting on, E-beth?

 

[David Brider]

So....here I am, fresh from the 30's forum. I remember when my mom was 29, and I thought that was so old!!!!

I had a surprisingly hard time with this birthday. Normally I don't care a whit about age, but I sorta got reflective when I turned 40. How was YOUR fortieth? What do you think is good about being 40, as opposed to any other decade?

Yeah, I remember when my stepdad was 40 and thinking that was old. And now...*heh*

To be honest, I've now got to the time where I don't really care about my age, but turning 40 did kind of make me think. I had all sorts of plans and goals and haven't really achieved them, and now I'm officially middle aged. Feels odd.

But my 40th birthday itself was very nice - my wife took me out to a very posh meal at the club she belongs to in London. It was nice just spending quality time with her.

And I don't think there's anything good about 40 as opposed to any other decade - it's good in its own right. Apart from the "oh no I'm middle aged" wibblings, that is...

(I'm looking forward to my 41st birthday - plan is to celebrate by watching Tron Legacy, which comes out the day before, in 3D - and to my 42nd, just 'cos I'm a Douglas Adams geek; no plans for that one yet, but we've got to do something suitably geeky...)

 

[Bridgit]

I think I was ok when I turned 40. However, I'm not feeling too good about turning 46 this year and heading toward the 50s!

One of the hard things to face as I grow older is to see that my children will soon leave the nest and go about their life. I still cannot imagine it and it's especially due to the fact that I am a single mom. I am wondering: "How is it going to be being alone at home?"

I keep on thinking that it will be great as I'll be free to do whatever I want. But, I will have to enjoy it to its fullest as I want to take advantage of my still-good health.

I do like the fact that I'm more mature now in my 40s and see life with a new perspective than I did when I was in my 30s and younger. It feels good to be wise!
But, it also feels bad to be wise. Why? Because I find that I have less tolerance for nonsense and also, I think more, especially about life itself, way more than before. This can cause huge problems and can bring me down.

I am so glad that Jesus is my life, otherwise, I do believe I'd go nuts. As I grow older, my dependence on God increases which is a good thing.

Sometimes I let my imagination run and it scares me. I wonder about how long I'll be on my job. What will happen when I'll retire? How I will manage if I have a health issue ..... That's what happens when my focus is on me. I know better and need to focus on Him and trust He'll take care of me until the end.

Dear God, help me to keep my eyes on you throughout this life journey and stay close to You. You have a purpose and plan for me and I thank you for your faithfulness to make it happen. Amen!

 

[Singermom]

I haven't hit my "emotional" birthday yet. 30, 40, 45...meh. The only problem I had is that most of the time my birthdays go by pretty much low key. No one ever makes a big deal. My husband doesn't believe in that, and everyone else thinks that it's his job. Oh, well.

I have the opposite problem of Bridgit: for reasons unbeknown to us, God had decided to have my husband and me wait (and wait and wait...) to have children, so I had my first when I was 38 and my second at 40! So here I am, well into my 40s with one just starting Kindergarten!

I'm OK with it tho. Other than the fact that I'm not exactly svelt, my girls keep me young. I love to play with them, especially their imagination games. I keep track of their stuffed friends and imaginary friends (like my older daughter has an imaginary bunny named Wonderful who keeps running ahead of us..."Oh, no! Where did Wonderful go? Did she go ahead to the store again?") There's also their shows, movies & music. Whenever something particularly generational happens, my husband and I simply say, "Sorry; we're just old."

I also have the advantage of being the youngest surviving sibling. When my older sibs tried to tease me when I turned 40 (good-natured, of course - nothing malicious), I simply said, "I may be getting older, but I'm still younger than you!

Part of my thing is my mother. She was also pregnant at 40 with my younger brother and always said that it made her feel so young. She has also told me that one should wear their age like a badge of honor, because each year you have is a year earned.

So, I'm safely past 40...and looking forward to seeing what 50 will eventually bring me.

 

[~Jennifer~]

I'm not 40 yet but will be in 23 days. I'm excited about turning 40. I have decided that this is a new beginning for me and I'm going to start fresh (I have been depressed the last 5 years). I will be 40 August 16th 4:45am, my husband thinks that because of the time I was born that's why I'm not a morning person, I think he may be right.