on dating..

[togekiss]

It seems the bible discusses much of what is allowed inside of outside of marriage. But what is allowed during dating?

Can we cuddle?
Can we kiss?
Can we hold hands?
Can we look loving into each others eyes?

These are all things that should happen within marriage but not friendship.
Some people interpret "sexual immorality" as not doing anything that can cause sexual arousal before marriage. But how are you supposed to act when dating before you marry?

From my understanding, the Bible is written in historical context where dating was not really a concern. There was courtship and then marriage. Nowadays, we have courtship, dating, and then marriage.
I just want to make sure that we aren't crossing any boundaries that we should not cross before marriage (other than sex).

 

[Jane_Doe]

It seems the bible discusses much of what is allowed inside of outside of marriage. But what is allowed during dating?

Can we cuddle?
Can we kiss?
Can we hold hands?
Can we look loving into each others eyes?

These are all things that should happen within marriage but not friendship.
Some people interpret "sexual immorality" as not doing anything that can cause sexual arousal before marriage. But how are you supposed to act when dating before you marry?

From my understanding, the Bible is written in historical context where dating was not really a concern. There was courtship and then marriage. Nowadays, we have courtship, dating, and then marriage.
I just want to make sure that we aren't crossing any boundaries that we should not cross before marriage (other than sex).

Don't do things which cause sexual arousal. Holding hands doesn't cause sexual arousal. A basic kiss doesn't cause sexual arousal. A super intense make out session can cause sexual arousal and hence is probably not a good idea.

 

[Dave-W]

From my understanding, the Bible is written in historical context where dating was not really a concern.

The entire concept of dating did not exist anywhere before the very late 1800s and did not really catch on until after WW2. In bible times almost all marriages were arranged around age 10.

As to avoiding arousal, (as Jane Doe said) that can be problematic. What one person finds arousing may not be to the next person and vice versa. And often we do not know ourselves what will set us off until it happens, and even that may change from week to week. At some times, even holding hands can be a trigger.

If you are intent on NOT having sex, (which you should be) then you need to have a discussion about this, and set up some kind of signal that when things start getting too - ummm - exciting; so you know to back off.