Old Flames

[~Beauty_from_Pain~]

What did you do with the things that you got from past boyfriends/girlfriends? Did you burn all of the pictures or did you stow them away in the attic? Did you keep the gifts that they had given you...or gave them away to charity? What did you do with those items that remind you of them?

 

[robalan]

I say let the past be the past. If you didn't work a relationship out with someone after trying everything and giving it your all, then you most likely are not meant for each other. I happen to believe that love transcends life circumstance. Some people will say, "We really love each other, but the timing isn't right, so we're going to call it quits." To these people I will say that, if life circumstance gets in the way of your love, you most likely don't love each other. If you did, at the very least you would just stop dating--yet not date anyone else in the meantime.

So back to the OP. There's a reason why past relationships didn't work, and it's not circumstance. If you trusted your reasoning for breaking up then, you should also trust that the same things would happen now. Old flames are only fantasy.

 

[plum]

I've kept most of the things I got out of the relationships I've been in. I don't see a reason not to. I won't get rid of good things that I love because they were given in care and affection. *shrug*. Why act like a part of your life never happened? It did happen and you are changed because of it. Instead of ignoring it, I just let it be. I don't like to dwell on those objects either though. That may lead me down the rocky path of "memory lane" that usually heads straight for my heart. I'm in a struggle involving one of my ex boyfriends who is being extra extra charming and friendly right now. It's enough of a challenge without me gazing at his picture or something

but no, i wouldn't trash those things if they were from a good part of my life, or even a significant one that wasn't so good.

 

[~Beauty_from_Pain~]

Hmm...I would think that so long as the things don't interfere with your life and you wanted to keep them, then it wouldn't be a problem unless your next partner didn't want you to.

If they were causing you to live in the past and all, then one should get rid of them-at least until you can move past them.

 

[HolyOne87]

well, most of the stuff I had from my ex I put in a box..except for stuffed animals..I am going to give them to needy children in my area(since they are in PERFECT condition)...I figured that was the best thing to do with them.
its like that quote, "One persons trash is another persons treasure"

 

[Arclight610]

Wow, this post really spoke to me. Today I took everything that my ex-girlfriend gave me that had to do with memories (photos, cards, stuffed animals) and put them all in a bag. I kept the useful stuff like clothes she had given me and a guitar strap. Then I torched the bag. I figure if she doesn't even want to acknowledge my existence, then I won't acknowledge hers.

 

[ChildOfGod20]

i only had a poem and a letter that an old crush wrote to me...i threw it away after my boyfriend and i had been dating a while just cause i didn't care to have it anymore. i'm not very sentimental unless it's something from someone i truly love

 

[Inperfected]

Different things have had different things done to them.... I've kept a few gifts.. A necklace him and his stepdad made for me, and a book from another boyfriend. But other than that, I've disposed of things.... Why? Because I'm marrying his best friend and I don't want to be reminded of him constantly... All the gift I recieved was a candle, a ring (actually more an engagement ring than anything else - It was returned) and the necklace. The letters were burnt along with a book he made me and the like.. There was no reason to keep it, and i don't want my kids to find it one day.

 

[tayshodd]

A firend of mine not only burned all of his old memories of a girl (she had custom orderd a deck of cards with her face on it for him!) but he also cut and dyed his hair that she loved so much just to spite her (odd i know)

 

[Abruer17]

heh thats the way to do it.

I was with this one gal for a pretty good time. I left for basic training and graduation night she told me it had to end. Not for horrible reasons, but it was horrible enough.

I put all her letters in an envelope and almost sent them all back. Instead I trashed them. Unfortunately, for me, my memories were the worse reminders. If I could have just cut out that part of my brain I would have.

Best thing that could have happened though...(thinks of Whitney....)

 

[Rin4Christ]

Something things I don't keep. gooshy love notes I toss. friednly notes discussing life or friendship (some from pre-relationship times) I keep. Dried flowers are strictly sentimental, so they usually go. Thoughtful and useful gifts I keep unless I don't use them anymore, then they fall in the same catagorie as any of my stuff. I don't need this, I need to get rid of it (toss it, give it away, donate, garage sale, whatever). Jewelry, I will usually put away while the breakup is fresh, but I do wear it again in later. I don't think it is a big deal really.....

 

[Paladin Dave]

I think I tossed the couple letters she wrote me, but I still have the CD full of crappy country music she gave me... why? Shoot, I dunno. I often have the inclination to do with it what I did with the letters, since I am happily and madly in love with my girlfriend of the last 7(in two days) months, but... I dunno. I feel like it would be disrespectful, almost.

 

[Counsil]

I never really had a reason to destroy stuff given to me or that were reminders of old relationships because I never had a big fall out with any of my ex's. I cared for them enough to get into a relationship with them in the first place, and even though I've fallen out of contact with them, I still look back at our experiances together fondly.