Son to mother ''Why am I so bad at maths''.
Mothers words of wisdom.---''Well you see, there are basically three kinds of people in this world. Those who can count & those who can't''.
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''You'r a high fliying lawyer! If I gave you £200., will you answer two questions for me''?.
''Absolutly! What's the second question?''
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A New teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses.
She started her class by saying: ''Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!''.
After a few seconds, little James stands up. The teacher said; ''Do you think you're stupid, James?
James replied: '' No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there by you're self.''
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A man gets up to the Pearly gate . ''What have you done for me to allow you in?'' After thinking a while the man says.
''I once saw a bunch of hairy Hells Angels with nose rings, tatoos & insignia all over their jackets. I parked the car & went over to the tallest of them; the obvious leader. I kicked him on the shins, chopped him on the neck & punched his nose''
Peter looks at him with interest & asks ''When did this happen?''
''10 minutes ago'' said the man.
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LAST BUT NOT LEAST----
AS the funeral parade passes the golf course, a golfer on one of the greens stands to attention with hat in hand & over his heart, as the hearse goes by. Then he goes back to linning up his putt. His playing partner remarks how that was the nicest gesture he'd ever seen, to show such respect for the dead.
The first golfer says: ''Well, she was a good wife for 16 years.''
Mothers words of wisdom.---''Well you see, there are basically three kinds of people in this world. Those who can count & those who can't''.
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''You'r a high fliying lawyer! If I gave you £200., will you answer two questions for me''?.
''Absolutly! What's the second question?''
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A New teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses.
She started her class by saying: ''Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!''.
After a few seconds, little James stands up. The teacher said; ''Do you think you're stupid, James?
James replied: '' No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there by you're self.''
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A man gets up to the Pearly gate . ''What have you done for me to allow you in?'' After thinking a while the man says.
''I once saw a bunch of hairy Hells Angels with nose rings, tatoos & insignia all over their jackets. I parked the car & went over to the tallest of them; the obvious leader. I kicked him on the shins, chopped him on the neck & punched his nose''
Peter looks at him with interest & asks ''When did this happen?''
''10 minutes ago'' said the man.
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LAST BUT NOT LEAST----
AS the funeral parade passes the golf course, a golfer on one of the greens stands to attention with hat in hand & over his heart, as the hearse goes by. Then he goes back to linning up his putt. His playing partner remarks how that was the nicest gesture he'd ever seen, to show such respect for the dead.
The first golfer says: ''Well, she was a good wife for 16 years.''
