ok, I need some advice....

[shattered.dreams]

hey, um, I'm kinda new to this thread, but I was wondering If someone could give me some advice. I am struggling with anorexia nervosa and I am going downhill. I was in the hospital about 4 weeks ago cuz my weight dropped down to 78 lbs (im 5"2) but I only stayed in there for 2 weeks and signed myself out ( I was sopose to be there for 4-10 weeks) I couldn't take it, I was on a mental health ward and they had no experience with eating disorders, they basically gave me a huge plate of food and was like, eat whatever you can. So now im back at home, trying to deal with my ED and my parents and I are not getting along that well. I have gained to 90lbs but I hate it so much, I know I have a problem, people see me as skinny, but I see myself as fat.I want to loose the weight I put on, I dont know what to do.I am back to not eating, whenever I eat anything I just want to purge. I 'm trying to trust God to get me through this, but I'm loosing hope. I feel like a failure, and that God shouldnt love me anymore.
I need some advice, and some prayer.

 

[Everlasting33]

Sounds like you have been through a lot of pain and suffering. Do you see a counselor? Do you have any idea on what happened to you that has influenced you to have an eating disorder? You can overcome this and you don't have to be so sad and overwhelmed.

"Affirm for yourself:​

• I deserve to solve this problem from my past.​
• I deserve to be good to myself​
• I deserve to have others be good to me, too!"​

www.coping.org

 

[Yuki Usagi]

Please read the thread here at Eating Disorders called:


Eighty five % Remission Rate!What Changed Everything!Anorexica Gone Forever!6 Mo And Counting (only the "eighty-five" its written in numbers)
It sure couldn't hurt to try it. I pray you read it and try it and that it works for you, too. It's just a few threads below yours. I'm surprised no one has seemed to notice it!!! It's awesome!

Yuki Usagi

 

[shattered.dreams]

Sounds like you have been through a lot of pain and suffering. Do you see a counselor? Do you have any idea on what happened to you that has influenced you to have an eating disorder? You can overcome this and you don't have to be so sad and overwhelmed.

I see a counselor, and I have to go see the doctor every week to go over the blood results( which I done every week) It doesnt seem to be helping me at all.
My parents and I dont get along, I still live at home ( I would move out but I have no money) and we are constantly arguing, they are controlling me life it seems like, so in a way this has to do with control, the only thing I have left to control in my life is what I eat, and my weight. but also, I dont see myself as thin, even everyone else thinks I am. Every day I look at myself and feel ashamed and disgusted. I want to be thin... I need to be thin. I dont know, im so confused.

 

[Soulwings]

Love, you are so tiny. I saw the numbers in the hover-over-outline in the main forum... and at that weight, you are tiny. Emaciated. Very, very unhealthy. You have no need to want to be any thinner than you are... but I know so much easier said than done, huh? And don't listen to that little voice that says "I'm fat" because you are anything but... please try to listen to me. I know you don't know me, but... I do know that EDs lie, and that lying can seem so, so true.

God is there, and God cares about you. God - Jehovah-rophe - the Lord our Healer. Call on Him, and don't give up. Keep your faith strong - read the Bible - read the Psalms - David suffered so much and yet trusted in God. You can do the same. God was there for him - He didn't answer all of David's prayers, but He was there. Keep calling out to Him. He loves it when His children spend time talking with Him. Read some devotionals if you can't get into His Word directly. Talk to your pastor about keeping your faith alive through times of trial.

I'm glad that you are seeing a T. Are you really going in depth with things with her? or are you just glossing over the surface? have you found out what the real reasons are for you having an ED? (I know that "to be thin" seems to be the real reason, but there is so much more behind an ED than just the desire to be thin)

I hope some of what I said helps. I'm exhausted, so I'm going to head off to get ready for bed now, but PM me anytime, okay? I've not been to the place where you've been, but I have a pretty entrenched ED and have gone through a residential treatment program (and am also a psychology major and nutrition minor )... so I am here for you whenever you need to talk. I'll try not to be all "high and mighty," so to speak... and if you do choose to PM me, you can use numbers - I'm fine with that. If you don't want to PM, that's fine too. I don't want to pressure... just know that I'm here and willing to listen.

God bless. I will be praying for you, that God grants you healing of both body and spirit, and that you find that peace which only comes from the Giver of all things.

 

[Yuki Usagi]

And so is that great cure... Zinc and Copper... everyone ignores it... I suppose some people don't want to get well. I give up.

 

[Everlasting33]

I see a counselor, and I have to go see the doctor every week to go over the blood results( which I done every week) It doesnt seem to be helping me at all.
My parents and I dont get along, I still live at home ( I would move out but I have no money) and we are constantly arguing, they are controlling me life it seems like, so in a way this has to do with control, the only thing I have left to control in my life is what I eat, and my weight. but also, I dont see myself as thin, even everyone else thinks I am. Every day I look at myself and feel ashamed and disgusted. I want to be thin... I need to be thin. I dont know, im so confused.

Sounds pretty frustrating for you.

Tell me, why do you think counseling hasn't helped?
Why do you think you need to be thin?

 

[shattered.dreams]

thanks for answering my post. I really appreciate the advice. I am trying to trust god, Its soo hard. I havnt eaten since monday and today I went on a binge, it didnt turn out good in the end. *sigh* How come God doesnt give up on us? why can't he turn away from me and forget about me? I feel so bad for what Im doing to myself and my family, but I cant seem to stop.

And so is that great cure... Zinc and Copper... everyone ignores it... I suppose some people don't want to get well. I give up.

Yuki Usagi , Im sorry I ignored you. I read the thread about zinc and copper. Sounds intresting. I am on some multi-vitamins right now to try and keep my body ok, hmm, I have a doctors appointment today, I will see what he thinks about the Zinc. Thank-you,

 

[Soulwings]

Personally, I don't really believe that just taking zinc and copper will make your ED go away. Sorry. Anyway, you have to eat in order for those two to be absorbed. So... if you're not eating and you're taking zinc and copper, what's the point?? Don't want to get into a debate... just wondering.

God doesn't give up because He loves us. I don't know why and I don't know if anyone can really give a really good reason. He is a God of love, compassion, forgiveness, and grace, which I am sure you've heard before. It's hard to believe - almost too good to be true - it would be too good to be true if it were easy. Our walk with Christ, that is. It's hard to stick with God when things get too rough or too easy. That's the challenge of Christianity. When we're in a good place, not to think that we've got it all made because of ourselves. When we're in a bad place, not to think that it's because of God.

I hope that makes sense.

 

[Yuki Usagi]

thanks for answering my post. I really appreciate the advice. I am trying to trust god, Its soo hard. I havnt eaten since monday and today I went on a binge, it didnt turn out good in the end. *sigh* How come God doesnt give up on us? why can't he turn away from me and forget about me? I feel so bad for what Im doing to myself and my family, but I cant seem to stop.


Yuki Usagi , Im sorry I ignored you. I read the thread about zinc and copper. Sounds intresting. I am on some multi-vitamins right now to try and keep my body ok, hmm, I have a doctors appointment today, I will see what he thinks about the Zinc. Thank-you,

It couldn't hurt to try it! God's best to you! I really hope it works for you, too!