Oh, dear ... :(

[Princess Pea]

I think I really hurt my co-worker's feelings today.

It's a really long story, and I don't want to get into all the details, but the gist of it is that he did me what he thought was a big favor. He surprised me by spending several hours making improvements to a project of mine, knowing that I'd been intending to discontinue it due to its state of disrepair. I thanked him at the time and tried to tell him that I was still planning to discontinue that particular project by handing it over to another co-worker who wanted it, but I think all he heard was the "thank you" part. I know I wasn't very direct with the second half of the message - I think I said something along the lines of "It will be really hard to give this away now that it's so improved." Yup - a comment ripe for misinterpretation.

So today this coworker came in right when I was transferring the project to my other colleague, and ... whew. Let's just say it was an awkward moment. He was pretty upset - I think it was a combination of anger and hurt feelings, and I feel terrible about it. He didn't say anything inappropriate - it was more the look on his face and his demeanor.

Anyway, please send up a prayer - and feel free to send over any advice, too, if you have any! I don't know what to say to him tomorrow, if anything, and I've been praying for him on and off all evening. He is a Christian, so that should make a difference. By the way, he's happily married, so he wouldn't have had any romantic ulterior motives. He's just a good guy - whose feelings I've just trampled into the dust!

 

[LightHearted]

Awww...

I would just explain it to him all over again. Tell him that you greatly appreciate all the work that he put into the project, but you just didn't have the time to follow through in finishing the project, and that you thought it would be better to hand it over to somebody that would do it justice.

 

[caitlincares]

Praying

 

[wvmtnkid]

I agree with LH. I would again let him know you appreciate his hard work and but that because of whatever the reasons, you just felt it necessary to transfer the project over to someone else to continue. Perhaps the person it was transferred to could also send him a note of appreciation for all of his hard work on improving the project. That way, maybe he wouldn't feel his work was in vain.

 

[Princess Pea]

Thanks for the advice and prayers, everyone! I didn't get a chance to talk to him about it, but he greeted me in his usual cheerful and friendly fashion, so he seems to have forgiven me.

I had actually written him a note earlier, thanking him for his work and saying I thought the new "owner" would appreciate it, but I'm not sure he got that note before yesterday's incident - I've been keeping an eye on his mailbox. But maybe, considering the circumstances, that was OK. I liked the idea of having the new owner thank him too - I'll work on that.

Anyway, thanks for the advice - I will sleep better tonight!

 

[TriptychR]

It's all a misunderstanding. Just keep showing him how thankful you are to have such a good friend around.

 

[Princess Pea]

Thanks, Triptych! That helps.