Oh boy....

[ROmike]

Quick Facts:
I'm Single
Love God Completely. I Stand Confidently Before Him.
I Would Rather Be Single My Entire Life Then Pursue A Relationship Not of God.

Okay. (All this is quickly summarized) I have only dated once for less then a month back in high school (I'm 25). Here's the problem. There's a person I met about 6 months ago. I started praying about this person to see what God thought. I can't be 100% but it almost seemed like God asked what I wanted and I said I'd like to marry this person. He didn't say ok or no, it was like he was just listening. I later found out she was talking to someone else. (This is where I ask that you don't jump to conclusions). When I found out who it was I immediately didn't believe it. A couple other people I have talked to can not see God putting them together. It seems like she lit a fuse by simply bringing up the possibility with this guy and then she didn't know how to say no. And the relationship progressed to the point of a recent engagement. When she is around this guy she seems depressed and when I'm around she ignores the guy she's now engaged too and seems depressed, but it seems like she sees something in me she's more attracted too. I'm not saying I'm who she is suppose to be with, but being around her and knowing the entire story it's clear she shouldn't be with this guy. I feel so sorry for her because it's like she's trapped and she doesn't know how to get out of this.

What do I do? The only thing I know to do is wait and pray and leave my anxiety with God. He orchestrated the universe and he can take care of this. But I'd still like to see if anyone has any further advice. Thanks.

 

[Svt4Him]

Leave her alone. If you get involved in her affairs, it's like grabbing a dog by it's ears. Honestly you are setting yourself up for some hurt.

 

[bkg]

What do I do? The only thing I know to do is wait and pray and leave my anxiety with God. He orchestrated the universe and he can take care of this. But I'd still like to see if anyone has any further advice. Thanks.

You pray more fervently than before. Beyond that, I honestly don't know. If she comes to you as a friend, then listen and let the Holy Spirit guide anything that you might say. If, and only if, you have 100% assurance that it's God's will, should you interject at this point. And I would suspect it'd take a lot to be sure interjecting is the right thing to do... My concern, humanly, is that it tends to push the person farther into a bad situation.

Continue to pray; listen to God's voice and guidance... and listen to her if the opportunity presents itself.

I'm glad you are concerned!
bkg

 

[ROmike]

Thanks. I thought that was the best thing to do but never being in this situation I thought it wise to ask for a few thoughts from another believer. Thanks again and thanks for replying.

 

[InTheFlame]

Keep in mind that you never know another person's heart - or life - completely. Maybe direct your prayers towards her well-being and encouragement, as opposed to 'God should I... should she...' etc... acknowledge to God your feelings for her, but maybe try not to dwell on them in your prayers.

Hmmm hope this helps. God bless!

 

[ROmike]

Thank you very much. I had almost forgotten about that.

 

[Southern Cross]

It would be better for a woman to question her about the relationship or deliver the news that friends have concerns. In some ways I think it's always better for a woman to talk to another woman about these things, unless it's a father/daughter relationship.

Are you very good friends with her? If there really is not another female friend in her life that feels the same as you, I'd casually ask if she was happy with this guy without opening the door for any possibilities for a closer relationship between you and her. Why? In my experience, I've seen a few people so emotionally attached to a bad relationship that they can't see clearly or they think it's the best they can do.

A long time ago, my friends tried to dissuade me from getting too deeply involved with someone, and it took a while for their messages to get through, but it eventually got me thinking and I broke it off with her with no regrets. Had I not had friends who stepped in, who knows how far I would've gone before I realised she was the wrong one for me?

 

[bringingup4forHim]

if my best friend had spoke up 10 years ago, i wouldn't be where i am. pray for an obvious God time to talk to her. tell God that you need Him to be clearer than clear about what to say and when. you could save her from years of hardship if this is what He wants you to do. it seems like you have deep feelings for her, you are wise to seek other believers advice. sometimes it's hard to step away from your feelings...

 

[Jenna]

If she is unhappy, then it is up to her to leave her situation. Stepping in and putting one's nose in another's affair is not a very good idea. No one knows their relationship but the two of them and God. Things could be different from what they seem, especially if you have an interest in this woman that is clouding your view. Praying is a wonderful and powerful thing, and I encourage you in your endeavor to pray for her. Other than that, my advice would be to step back and leave it alone.

 

[Yitzchak]

If she wasn't engaged to this man , it would be different. But since she is then you should leave it alone until/unless she becomes available again.

 

[isaiah5213]

those posts that say pray, are great.. pray that the truth be revealed in spite of you, her, him, everyone...

pray that if she is making a huge mistake, that God reveal it to her, and the window to get out the trap that she may believe she is in.. pray that she have strength, courage, wisdom, and extras of it, if this is a no no no situation. pray that if it really is the wrong thing, that someone else talk to her--not you, and not someone you tell or hint to, even, that you think it's a bad idea, this marriage.

if you didn't have personal feelings for her yourself, then you would be the best person to talk to her, because you would be loving her as a brother loves a sister. but because you do have feelings for her, then your feelings can and will get in the way, no matter how good your intentions are. and if others see this as bad bad bad, then pray they get the strength,courage, wisdom to tell her. she may not listen to them. so pray that you be okay with it, and you love her anyway, if she makes the decision not to listen!

see, it may be a miserable relationship, right now. but God may have the plan for them to be together, and work on "drama" issues together. God may have decided that they are good for each other, and they need to be together. it may not look right--i know full well what it's like to be a friend, and see others become couples, and think "uh oh..."... but i also know God changes us all--which is not what the world says... God has his plan.

what you may be seeing is lots of drama, and frankly, if you are, then sadly, it doesn't matter who these two people would be with, there would be drama... so i go back to the original suggestion. pray.