Offending a Saint?

[ZooMom]

Hope you guys can help me out here. Hubby and I already went round and round on this, and while the subject has been temporarily dropped, it is sure to resurface soon. First, background...


My maiden name is Martin. My mom and dad divorced when I was 3, and my dad decided that that canceled his parental obligations. Oh, I know he loves me and my sister, but...well...'out of sight=out of mind', you know? No visits, no phonecalls, zip...unless my mom took us to him and dumped us in his lap. He managed to show up for my wedding, but not for my sister's, and I don't think either of us will forgive him for that. He hasn't even seen my last two kids, or made any effort to contact me in the last 10 years. Every time I have seen or talked to him, it was through the good offices of other ppl or myself. My hubby thinks I should forgive and forget and do everything I can to make my dad a part of mine and my children's life. I do forgive him for being a bad father, but I can't forget the hurt of being promised this or that and then him never showing up or coming through. Why should I set my kids up for the same hurt?

Part two...


In the last few weeks, while we were trying to sell our house, in my nightly prayers I would ask for special help from Mary to provide a solution to the whole mess. Unknown to me, hubby was asking special intercessions from St. Martin, who I believe is the patron saint of those in need of money, homes, etc. So, one night after the house sold, Michael brings up the subject of baby names, and asks what I think of naming the baby (we're pretty sure it's a boy) Martin. Of course, I look at him like he's lost his mind and I ask him if he's been drinking. Turns out he's perfectly serious, and he tells me about St. Martin and that he believes the St. helped us sell our house (very quickly and easily, I might add). Consequently, he thinks it would be properly appreciative for us to name the baby Martin. I refused, adamantly, because of the grief it will cause in my family. And the gloating it will cause on my father's side of the family. It really has nothing to do with them, but that is how everyone will take it no matter what we explain to the contrary. But Michael is concerned that, after asking for help and getting it from God and St. Martin (and Mary of course), that we will seem extremely ungrateful at best.

Whadaya think?

 

[KC Catholic]

Oh man...this should be fun.

Unfortunately, I cannot answer the first question because I am sort of in the same position. It's a long story...if you figure out your situation, let me know how to solve mine.

On to part 2....What you and your husband decide to name your new little bundle is up to you guys. I doubt St. Martin would be offended if you do not name the child after him. As with most folks, St. Martin interceeded without thought of a reward. He was just serving his fellow Christians...don't sweat it.

Give praise and thanks to God for his servant St. Martin assisting you in time of need.

Hope that helps! Good to hear from you!

 

[DEVIL STOMPER777]

First off Im not familiar w/ST Martin,but Im sure he wont feel slighted if ya didnt name yer bambino after him(dont know where yer hubby got this idea from). Why not use Martin as a middle name? Or perhaps tell jr of the intercession as he grows older & maybe he will choose Martin as his confirmation name. You could just call the kid Marty as a nickname. Hey I hear the name Bill is real nice(lololololol)
GOD BLESS<JESUS><

 

[ZooMom]

Well, that's kinda the whole problem. My dad's last name is Martin...my family don't like my dad's family...ppl would totally get the wrong idea if we named the baby Martin...see?

I'm not losing any sleep on the first issue. That horse has been dead for a long time. The last question in that part was pretty much rhetorical.

KC, I'm praying for you, my friend. Family issues can be the worst. Especially when you have two different 'camps' pulling at you.

What do you guys think would be a suitable 'Thank You' for St. Martin, tho? A Mass dedication? An offering to a charity he may be connected with?

 

[onesheep]

Sandy, I like the offering to the charity. Dedicating a Mass is great but doing for others is something that's needed more. I think you would be happier doing that.

JMHO.

Praying for all of you, so keep in touch.

God Bless.

 

[Augustine the Canadian]

Sandy, I like the offering to the charity. Dedicating a Mass is great but doing for others is something that's needed more. I think you would be happier doing that.

Are you Catholic?

As for Sandy, the child situation...like someone else said, this is for you and your husband to decide. However, I think it would be a great sign of respect to the Saint to name your son after him. Indeed, who really cares what others think? It's not like your father's first name is Martin, and it will all blow over anyway. While it's true the Saint's don't "help" because of selfish motives, it is very much the Catholic way to show a sign of gratitude for a Saint's help in one's cause. Indeed, the Blessed Virgin has even gone so far as to say she has been dishononoured, and that this offends God. Thus, it would be on the contrary, pleasing to God for one to glorify Him in His Saints.

Our Lady of Victory, Pray for us!

Augustine

 

[Wolseley]

You cannot offend a saint or the Blessed Mother, no matter what you do. Remember that they are in heaven and are beyond such things.

A proper "thank you" to Saint Martin would simply be to pray to him and say "thank you". If you want, say it for several nights in a row. But you don't have to name your kid after him---and in fact, I think in your situation, it's probably not a good idea.

Some years back I had a relative who was in need of an anullment, and was having a tough time with it. I prayed to St. Monica every night for two solid months; when the anullment was granted, I simply said "Thank you" to St. Monica every night for two months.

If you still want to do something more, go to your parish church and light a candle to St. Martin in thanksgiving.

Blessings,
---Wols.

 

[sear]

I think Martin is a better name for a male than Bettylou.

And I've learned in life not to allow negative persons to play the role of spoiler in my life.
If you like the given name Martin, go with it. Let those that wish to think self aggrandizing thoughts to have at it. If they ask, you can tell them the truth. The chronology will support your position.

Dr. Joy Browne says we all are driven toward pleasure, and away from pain.
But sear says, if we allow moving away from pain to be our primary motivator, we'll be primarily fleeing.
Don't flee. Don't give in to the negative.

I don't care what you name your offspring. I think what matters more is that you set an inspiring example.
Don't flee. Move positively, toward that which you like. The reasons are secondary.

When Captain Jacques Cousteau was asked what we can do as individuals to advance the efforts of the Cousteau Society the Captain responded:

Love life.

Words to live by.

 

[Lady Grace]

I think the donation to a charity is a good thing, as it will help many ,not just one. Hope all works out for you.

 

[ZooMom]

Lady Grace, everything worked out fine. We made a donation to our parish outreach program (money, clothes, and food) in honor of St. Martin, who is the patron of the poor and homeless. We also included a 'thank you' to him in our nightly Rosary for a month.

Peace.

 

[sklippstein]

Zoomom........if the name "Martin" is going to cause u pain or memory of pain........maybe talk to ur husband that it would be too painful for u to have this name. Picking out a name for a baby should be something enjoyable for both of u and a name that u both will like.

I agree with the majority here......a donation to a charity would be a lovely idea.

God bless u and i'm praying for u and ur family.

 

[dignitized]

St Martin is more interested in the prayers and the charity than in a namesake I'll wager.

 

[Lady Grace]

I really don't feel that we could offend any Saint; that is with the exception of being terribly disrespectful .

I mean after all if we have thought enough of this saint to pray to him /her for intercession and help , then I think that would show the Saint how much respect we have and how much faith we have in them.

So, in a way , that woud be their "thank-you". Don't you think?

 

[ZooMom]

Our baby was born last August. He is 1yr old now, and his name is Michael Ethan. We call him Mick or Mickey. If you click on the little camera next to my name you can see a picture of him with the rest of the zoo.