Ode on a Pet Lover

[Occams Barber]

Sometimes I think we're all too serious.

In memory of the late, great Spike Milligan with a knowing nod to Dr Seuss.
OB

ODE ON A PET LOVER
by OB

I loved my little puppy. I loved to feel him squirm
Small ball of furry squidges, that wriggled like a worm
Sometimes he’d lick me on my face, he even licked my nose
But it got bit annoying when he tried to lick my toes
The party really ended when he piddled on the floor
And woke me up at 3 am by scratching at the door
So puppies may be fun at first but when they make you splutter
Just pop them in the frying pan
With garlic, chives and butter

A kitty is a treasure, a fluffy puff of fun
I loved my little kitty, I loved to watch it run
It tumbled on the furniture and snuck onto my lap
Then turned three times and settled, for a purry little nap
When it got a little bigger it turned thoughtless with its paws
And I wasn’t very happy when it spiked me with its claws
When they start to arch and scratch
with spits and hissy fits
They’ve just worn out their welcome and it’s time to call it quits
They’ve lost their charm, they’re all grown up
They’re mangy cats, not kittens
So I turn their insides, inside out
And use their fur for mittens

I had a tiny budgie, a clever little chap
He’d hop around his little cage and give his bell a tap
He’d twit and tweet like budgies do
At first it was a joke
But cleaning out his budgie cage soon made me gag and choke
When little tinkles on his bell became annoying clatter
I soon imagined Tinkerbell, deep fried, in light beer batter
So I plucked the little fella and (I do not wish to boast)
Adding thyme and roast potatoes
Made a tiny gourmet roast

One day I had a visitor
He said, “There’s hell to pay”
“We know what you’ve been up to”
“We’re the RSPCA”
“We know about the dogs and cats”
“And pet mice blitzed for dips”
“And we know you turned your goldfish into goldfish Fish’n’Chips”
“You’re goose is cooked. You will be booked”
“You’re going for a ride”
“The charge is Pet Based Cookery and Pet Based Homicide”


They put me in the hospital
They said I was unwell
They kept me under lock and key
Strait jacket, padded cell

I faked as vegetarian.
The fools were reassured
Free of doubt, they let me out
They thought that I was cured

So now I’m free to act like me
Sounds crazy but it’s true
And I just found my ideal job.
I ‘m Head Chef … at the Zoo

 

[Martyr's Crown]

Nothing wrong with some humor. I am an animal lover, though, but sometimes the mind can come up with a lot of weird things, too. Although one should also be careful and know how to control the mind, when it goes towards the wrong direction.

 

[Occams Barber]

Nothing wrong with some humor. I am an animal lover, though, but sometimes the mind can come up with a lot of weird things, too. Although one should also be careful and know how to control the mind, when it goes towards the wrong direction.

Hi Princess
I've had cats, dogs, chickens, ducks (& budgies) all my long life.

I was once known as the 'Bird Whisperer'. Nothing clever or supernatural - I just have the calmness and patience to wait for the birds to come to me (with a handful of seed/worms).

If I can be frank; the most obvious thing I find missing in many Christians is a sense of humour; the ability to laugh at themselves, a sense of the ridiculous; both are fairly rare commodities in these here parts.
OB

 

[Martyr's Crown]

Hi Princess
I've had cats, dogs, chickens, ducks (& budgies) all my long life.

I was once known as the 'Bird Whisperer'. Nothing clever or supernatural - I just have the calmness and patience to wait for the birds to come to me (with a handful of seed/worms).

If I can be frank; the most obvious thing I find missing in many Christians is a sense of humour; the ability to laugh at themselves, a sense of the ridiculous; both are fairly rare commodities in these here parts.
OB

That's a lot of animals! Funny you were known as the "Bird Whisperer", although for some it comes more naturally to them than for others again. You are clever as in the form of reaching out or reacting in the right way which makes the birds feel you are safe and trustworthy for them.

The way humor is seen can and will vary from person to person, and what influences they have been having around them. This is the same with how people catch ironic sentences or sarcasm, you have those who judge a person to not be as normal if they cannot understand something which was meant to be ironic or said in an sarcastic tone. Those who are close to the person or may have grown up with similiar type of people will understand the one who uses irony and sarcasm in something they are telling, whilst for a stranger it might not always be catched the same way.

I have sometimes made a few "literal" jokes to some strangers who didn't really get it was meant as a joke. An example; I once saw a street with the name jroi or something close to this, and I would make a comment about internet. It was all meant as a joke but the lady with me didn't understand this. Those who are familiar with this will get the joke straight away, but those who don't won't see any fun with it.

 

[Occams Barber]

That's a lot of animals! Funny you were known as the "Bird Whisperer", although for some it comes more naturally to them than for others again. You are clever as in the form of reaching out or reacting in the right way which makes the birds feel you are safe and trustworthy for them.

I forgot about the goats. "Cleverness" or "comes naturally" are irrelevant. Being very patient and very calm works.

The way humor is seen can and will vary from person to person, and what influences they have been having around them. This is the same with how people catch ironic sentences or sarcasm, you have those who judge a person to not be as normal if they cannot understand something which was meant to be ironic or said in an sarcastic tone. Those who are close to the person or may have grown up with similiar type of people will understand the one who uses irony and sarcasm in something they are telling, whilst for a stranger it might not always be catched the same way.

You completely missed the point. Being able to laugh at yourself indicates that you are open to (or can understand) other viewpoints. Christians have a reputation for being narrow minded. Your, confused, response proves my point.

I have sometimes made a few "literal" jokes to some strangers who didn't really get it was meant as a joke. An example; I once saw a street with the name jroi or something close to this, and I would make a comment about internet. It was all meant as a joke but the lady with me didn't understand this. Those who are familiar with this will get the joke straight away, but those who don't won't see any fun with it.

 

[Martyr's Crown]

You completely missed the point. Being able to laugh at yourself indicates that you are open to (or can understand) other viewpoints. Christians have a reputation for being narrow minded. Your, confused, response proves my point.

That wasn't what I meant. From own experience I have seen that humor is different from person to person, yet when you learn knowing a person you will understand their sense of humor better as well. But you can of course misinterpret the way I tried explaining this, I can manage laughing at myself, even when I do mistakes, I even understood the way you wrote this poem and saw the funny points about it.

Yet, since you decide taking my response in the wrong I will let you stay stuck in your own wrong by thinking this way, looking at a response which was meant to be seen through a good and understanding way about how different a lot of people and their view-points can be, how the differences between what humans learn from own cultures, how they get raised up in their families, e.t.c... I wasn't confused when I replied back to you, though I am not going to argue with you. You can have your own opinions, whilst I will just leave this all behind and don't let your offense get into me.

May God bless you and help you read other people's replies in a better light.

 

[afishamongmany]

Hi OB - Yea good poem, it made me smile (and wince). And good poetry, it flowed, it moved, it rang the bells. Do you do serious stuff as well?

You completely missed the point. Being able to laugh at yourself indicates that you are open to (or can understand) other viewpoints. Christians have a reputation for being narrow minded. Your, confused, response proves my point.

I'm not sure that Crowned Princess did 'miss the point'. Maybe you missed or misunderstood her point? She does English well but it is not her first language.
Your point seems to be (if I'm not also confused) that Christians have no sense of humour and this is proof that they are closed to or cannot understand other view points. Well I'm a Christian, I have a sense of humour and I understand most points of view that I come across (though a few of the really complicated ones may be beyond me), so yahboo to you cobber. I think (again if I'm not confused) by, being closed to other opinions, you mean, there are things I don't believe to be true. No problem, I'll plead guilty to that.
Atheist have a reputation for being aggressively anti Christian. But I'm sure that's just another of those mindless stereotypes that this world is full of.
King Solomon said-

1 A good name is better than precious ointment,
And the day of death than the day of one’s birth;
2 Better to go to the house of mourning
Than to go to the house of feasting,
For that is the end of all men;
And the living will take it to heart.
3 Sorrow is better than laughter,
For by a sad countenance the heart is made better.
4 The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning,
But the heart of fools is in the house of mirth.
5 It is better to hear the rebuke of the wise
Than for a man to hear the song of fools.
Ecclesiastes 7

The Lord Jesus said-
13 “Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. 14 Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it.
Matthew 7

Go well O bird whisperer,
May you also hear what is whispered.
><>

 

[Occams Barber]

Hi OB - Yea good poem, it made me smile (and wince). And good poetry, it flowed, it moved, it rang the bells. Do you do serious stuff as well?

I'm not sure that Crowned Princess did 'miss the point'. Maybe you missed or misunderstood her point? She does English well but it is not her first language.
Your point seems to be (if I'm not also confused) that Christians have no sense of humour and this is proof that they are closed to or cannot understand other view points. Well I'm a Christian, I have a sense of humour and I understand most points of view that I come across (though a few of the really complicated ones may be beyond me), so yahboo to you cobber. I think (again if I'm not confused) by, being closed to other opinions, you mean, there are things I don't believe to be true. No problem, I'll plead guilty to that.
Atheist have a reputation for being aggressively anti Christian. But I'm sure that's just another of those mindless stereotypes that this world is full of.
King Solomon said-

1 A good name is better than precious ointment,
And the day of death than the day of one’s birth;
2 Better to go to the house of mourning
Than to go to the house of feasting,
For that is the end of all men;
And the living will take it to heart.
3 Sorrow is better than laughter,
For by a sad countenance the heart is made better.
4 The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning,
But the heart of fools is in the house of mirth.
5 It is better to hear the rebuke of the wise
Than for a man to hear the song of fools.
Ecclesiastes 7

The Lord Jesus said-
13 “Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. 14 Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it.
Matthew 7

Go well O bird whisperer,
May you also hear what is whispered.
><>

OK Oldbie mon ami

Let's sort a few things out.

Firstly. The Princess doesn't need you riding in on a white charger. She's more than capable of looking after herself. I'm well aware of the linguistic issue, She still missed the point.

Secondly. Drop the pseudo Australian. 'Cobber' hasn't been used in decades and I have no idea where 'yahboo' came from.

Thirdly. If your talking to an atheist NEVER quote scripture. It's a total waste of your time and mine. If I don't accept your (or any other) god, why on earth would I be impressed by a couple of verses from the Bible? This is EXACTLY what I mean when I talk about narrow Christian views.

Fourthly. As a rule I'm not aggressive, but I will not sit still for the sort of personal slights you're putting out.

I'm happy that you feel you have a sense of humour. Your post says otherwise but I won't load you with the stereotype.

Christian thinking, by its very nature, tends to be black and white or right/wrong or good/evil. It tends to be rule driven and dependent on external authority (i.e. God, The Bible). Note I said 'tends'. This may or may not describe your particular relationship with your deity but quoting scripture at me is already a fair indication of where you sit.
OB

 

[afishamongmany]

Yo! OB (Oldbie & OB a match made in heaven, n'est-ce pas?)

“Firstly. The Princess doesn't need you riding in on a white charger. She's more than capable of looking after herself.”
This is true, her response to you in her last post was able and gracious, but hey! me an' me 'orse need to get out sometimes. A joust a day keeps the cobwebs away.

Secondly. Drop the pseudo Australian. 'Cobber' hasn't been used in decades and I have no idea where 'yahboo' came from.
Ok mate, will do but I'm sad that cobber has passed out of ozy lingo it's a good, chummy kind of word with an interesting etymology. Australian words with a Yiddish origin | Ozwords
As for yahboo, Wiktionary gives:
yah boo 1- (British) An expression of derision and scorn.
I don't care about your stupid party anyway, so yah boo to you.
2-(as modifier) Characterised by derision or scorn.
People are fed up with yah-boo politics.
I also came across this extract from, 'How to be a Bad Birdwatcher: To the Greater Glory of Life' by Simon Barnes and though it wonderfully apropos to our conversation.

Anyway I assure you that all derision and scorn was done with a smile and a twinkle.

"Thirdly. If your talking to an atheist NEVER quote scripture. It's a total waste of your time and mine. If I don't accept your (or any other) god, why on earth would I be impressed by a couple of verses from the Bible? This is EXACTLY what I mean when I talk about narrow Christian views."
OB, the reason for bringing the thoughts of King Solomon and The Lord Jesus Christ to the table was not to impress you, it was to bring in other points of view concerning our consideration of humour and narrowness. I don't know which wise and wonderful people have fed your head but don't you think that an exclusion order on King Solomon and Jesus Christ indicates a certain closedness and narrowness of mind? Lions roar, [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] crow and Christians quote the Bible because-
“... the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.”
Hebrews 4:12

Of course this is your thread so, relax, not another biblical quote I will I post on it.

“Fourthly. As a rule I'm not aggressive, but I will not sit still for the sort of personal sleights you're putting out.”
OB, if you can point out to me any unwarranted 'personal sleights' I will gladly apologise. My understanding is that it is you who has been sleighting all Christian as being narrow-minded sourpusses.

Any chance of some more of your poetry, comic or serious or maybe even just poetic? This is what this corner of CF is for.
Go well, go wisely,
><>

 

[brinny]

group huuuuuuggg!!!