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OCD woes

kandcmom

Newbie
May 5, 2007
39
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✟22,664.00
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Nazarene
Marital Status
Married
Dear all,

I am a 43 yr old wife and mother of 2 beautiful daughters. My ocd started after the birth of my first daughter 16 years ago. I have to say that my ocd waxes and wanes.....if that makes any sense. It is almost cyclic. My ocd is manifested by terrible violent thoughts and severe panic attacks. I take Luvox and Ativan for my ocd but I have to admit I am the worse medicine taker and sometimes I feel like my meds make me worse. When my ocd is bothering me I feel like I live inside my brain and the rest of the world is going on around me. I actually try to "pull" myself out of my head and feel like I'm part of what is going on.

I usually do well with hardly any obsessions for about 6-9 months and then ocd rears it's ugly head and comes back with a vengence. Does anyone else have this. Right now I am having a terrible time. I am suffering with terrible violent thoughts which sometimes are directed at myself and I am having terrible panic attacks. I am so upset because I haven't had a panic attack in a very long time and now they are back with a vengence. They occur even at night. I feel so bad right now and I can't sleep because I woke up in a panic.

I know that the thoughts are just that....thoughts and that if I don't give credit to them they will fade but the panic that I have is almost debilitating. I have a great family doctor who I see when I feel bad so I guess I'll have to make an appointment but I hate this disease and what it does to me. Please pray for me, that I will be able to overcome this once again and get back in control of my thoughts and feelings. Thanks to everyone for all their support and prayers. I really appreciate this site where we can come and find others who understand our issues and lift us up to a Great God who can calm all our fears.

Thanks, kathy :prayer: