Ocd thoughts and feelings..forgiven? I really need help

[jesuslover94]

Like you I have OCD/scrupulosity and it's out of control. Is it normal for it to affect your feelings and emotions too? And the thoughts are so strong it effects my feelings too and I get scared, confused and I'm scared I believe them for awhile because they're convincing. I went through a phase where thoughts/feelings were telling me God was evil. I had a bitterness towards God for awhile and I'm worried I believed it to be. I don't feel that theme anymore though, thank God. Now I'm getting thoughts/feelings that tell me I want to worship someone/something else. They say I want to worship Buddah or satan. And my feelings get affected so strongly I worry I actually feel that way and wanted to think them bad thoughts. Because when they do happen it's like I have an argument with myself, and then I get confused and don't know what I want or what I believe. Then at some point it's like I don't care anymore about anything. Like today on the radio it was talking about kids dying from cancer. And thoughts came into my mind saying "Their just kids, it's not sad at all." And it felt like I could care less, until later I realized it really is sad. That's how I am with my thoughts and feelings. I feel so heartless :/ And since last year I've suffered from doubts about God's existence. And I find it hard to love God for some reason, I want to but I don't know how. Sometimes I feel like I don't even love Him. Like there's one part of me that wants to love and worship Him and the other part dislikes Him that doesn't want a relationship with Him. It's horrible :/. I'm worried especially for the feelings and the thoughts that tell me to "w. 0. r. s. h. i. p the e. n. e. m. y", because I get scared and confused and believe it's true, because it seems to convince me. So can be forgiven by all this? I just need advice

 

[redblue22]

do you think God knows and understands about OCD and scrup? just as I read your post I can see you are fighting the thoughts--fighting for your own control over them. and yes, feelings are quite normal. it sounds scary, and I bet it is.

(hug offerred)

 

[cmsracing]

There's really nothing to be forgiven. You can't be responsible for your thoughts and feelings when you have no control over them.
It's a fact that God knows us better than we know ourselves, and he knows and understands our weaknesses. He knows where these thoughts and feelings are coming from, OCD, and does not hold us accountable for them.
The fact that these thoughts and feeling are causing you so much distress shows where your heart truly lies. This is what God sees. He sees a true Christian Warrior at work fighting against these things. The Bible tells us that we don't fight against flesh and blood. And although he's talking about spiritual warfare anganist the devil and his angels, I can also see it as a war within our own bodies. Take comfort from this, every time you have and try to resist these thoughts and feelings, God see this as an act of faith. He sees it as an offering to Himself and shows your love for Him. Lastly I say know your enemy(OCD), and see it for what it is. Recognize it as something that is unreliable, unwanted and untrue. God know our hearts even when we ourselves are unsure.

 

[christlover500]

The source of these thoughts is from the devil. And he is convincing and evil, and wants to drive you downward. He wants you to think that what he tells you is of your mind, your conscience, and your own thought. I know how you feel, constantly repeating the thoughts in my head and doubting myself. But you don't have to worry. God is on your side.

The intrusive thoughts, even though they are blasphemous and wicked, do not define you, and I'm sure that God knows of them. I can see that within your heart you believe in him and that you are even fighting your own mind for your faith. He understands that these thoughts are a product of the devil, and that these are not of your mind. We often stress over them, thinking 'Oh, it's me, oh it's me', but it isn't. You aren't truly blasphemizing; if you were, you wouldn't care about your salvation or God. You care about the Lord because you love him, and you know he is your savior.

You're in my prayers.

 

[Kenan]

If you didn't consent to any of this there is no sin. The part that wants to love God is you, the part that doesn''t want to love God is temptation (devil). The devil uses confusion, fear, and temptation to draw you away from the Lord.

This is a simple temptation. Don't pay any attention to it. Let the devil speak in vain. Let his discouragement fall back on him. For he has no hope of redemption; he will be in sadness and sorrow through all Eternity and he wants other to feel just the same.

Pray and do not let him drag you into depression.

 

[jesuslover94]

Thanks for the advice I just get so confused with the OCD, because it's like it tells me I want to sin and then I get sinful temptations. Then it feels like I want to sin, but I try not too. And then I get confused and at times it feels like the OCD tries to convince me I don't want to be a Christian anymore, but I do want to be one. I get scared I'm gonna fall away from God :/

 

[tripletiger1200]

I fear that all the time. If you're afraid it is a sign you really care. People who fall away don't care. They never really cared to begin with

 

[StarsDeclareHisGlory]

I have a friend who has OCD. At the center of it is lack of self forgiveness even self loathing. Notice your ocd thoughts are things that TROUBLE you--its self punishment via thinking thoughts to hurt yourself. For example you said 'its horrible' and "I'm worried especially for the feelings and the thoughts that tell me to "w. 0. r. s. h. i. p the e. n. e. m. y","

you see?
These are thoughts to TORMENT you. You don't like these thoughts nor do you feel neutral about them as say a passing thought "hmm I think it will rain today".

These are tormenting to you BECAUSE you dont agree with them not because there is any possibility you do! If that were so it would not trouble you.




Its a form of self punishment and hatred even.

When Jesus was nailed to that old wooden cross how many of your sins had you committed that he took?

All of them, imagined or not, he took all of them BEFORE YOU WERE EVEN BORN. You didn't live 2,000 years ago (though he was slain at the foundation of the world --such is our God that he provides even before it is needed). So having nailed all your sins to the cross (thought life etc) you have died with him and are raised to newness of life. BUT the old sin nature part of you that hates --hates yourself. Instead of playing its game and answering the accusations or praying about them (as if you sinned or agreed with them) ignore them and go right to "Lord give me the grace not to hate myself and thank you that I am forgiven completely" Dont ask God for forgiveness thank him that its already given.

Also get angry and rebuke 'the noise' in His name. Since you have been forgiven your sins (real or imagined). Just pretend its all a ball of noise and imagine rolling it up and casting it to God. Imagine an empty blue sky passing through your head and a quiet wind.

"God is not the author of confusion but of PEACE" Just accept this scripture and dont even answer so called 'doubts'. Ignore them and thank God when you do your daily prayers that he has already forgiven you of any sin. YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO THIS PEACE IT IS YOUR GIFT IN CHRIST.


I notice a friend who had ocd 'lives in his head' alot. Then I helped him learn to live without thinking all the time. Now I know that sounds strange but not if you understand 'thinking' as 'deliberating'. Real thinking can be wordless: you wake up, greet your loved ones, eat breakfast, pray work enjoy the sunshine. You dont have to 'think' ala ocd style.


In Orthodox Christianity we say to fast within and without. Just as you fast with your body, fast your mind. As my american friends say "take a mental vacation". Do this when ocd thoughts come. Roll them up and cast them to the Lord. dont answer them at all. And if something is really grievous, jump ahead and just pray 'thank you Jesus" (ie as in thank you that Im already forgiven and 'we're good'). That avoids long drawn out prayers during your day when you should be working or playing etc.

Enjoy your present life and know when you pass you will also inherit eternal life thanks be to Christ. Its all clear sailing. The far future is bright.

 

[strelok0017]

This thread reminds me of myself in a sense. Others gave you great advice so I'll be short. God loves you. Cling to Him and pour our your heart before Him. There is nothing more we can do than by the grace of God entrust ourselves to Him and He will take care of us.

 

[jesuslover94]

Thanks it feels like my heart is hardening towards God because it's like I'm bipolar towards Him or something. One minute I love Him and I'm happy, then the next I'm angry, depressed and hating myself. It feels like I'm weakening. It's getting to strong

 

[strelok0017]

I am struggling with the same issue. Can't write much now because I've got classes soon so I'll edit this later but know that God loves you. His love is not depending on ours and if He saved us He will finish the work. God bless!

EDIT: I think that the most important thing to do is not to focus on those thoughts as much but to start reminding ourselves what does the work of Jesus mean to us. By focusing on OCD thoughts a person can easily start believing them and might even become weary in fighting which is the worst moment to get an OCD attack because you have little to no resolve to fight it. When OCD starts talking to you tell it that your reliance is in Jesus and Jesus said that nothing can take us out of His palm, not even OCD.

 

[Torim]

All these replies have helped me! I also struggle with OCD. I have abnormal thoughts and compulsions that I don't understand. Unfortunately, I have bad reactions to medicines sometimes that give me neurological problems and make the OCD worse and I'm trying to get over a reaction now. Strangely, I can manage it normally. But Lately I've been feeling guilty for the thoughts and compulsions and it's all become so overwhelming. People who have OCD have to remember that you can't help it. It's a brain disorder. YOU are not your OCD. Your thoughts are not pleasing to you and that's proof enough. Even though God does not address it specifically in the scriptures, He understands you and all you have to do is trust him. Plus, theres nothing wrong with seeing a therapist and taking medicine if needed. I really HATE OCD. It makes me long for my real home; Heaven. I pray that one day I and other people can overcome it.

 

[Chance7]

Okay, I know this is a really old thread but to be honest I have this problem too. It gets really bad but I learned that if you focus on God and deny the thoughts it will get better! God bless you!

 

[Kel_Sulz235]

This is a very old thread. I have gone through the EXACT same thing, @jesuslover94. I get super confused because sometimes the OCD will focus on complacency and having a hardened heart. I think this may be or alreadt happened to family member and I am terrified. On the other hand, I get thoughts like I don't care about salvation (probably because I thought I blasphemed the Holy Spirit and the Devil is trying to mess with me). I'm so afraid and I've also been very prideful, and It feels like It's too late. I don't know what to do.

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

Thanks for the advice I just get so confused with the OCD, because it's like it tells me I want to sin and then I get sinful temptations. Then it feels like I want to sin, but I try not too. And then I get confused and at times it feels like the OCD tries to convince me I don't want to be a Christian anymore, but I do want to be one. I get scared I'm gonna fall away from God :/

There is a scripture somewhere, I don't remember how often repeated even, or where,
that says

all the temptations that you are facing/ going through/ gone through

ARE COMMON to men everywhere ....... Many go through the same thing(s) you are going through....

And the ones victorious are the ones listening to Jesus (learn to know His Voice, ask Him to make sure for yourself that you can tell the difference) .

As Jesus said to Martha : don't bother Mary , there is only one thing that is important, and Mary has chosen that. (sitting at Jesus' feet listening to Him) .....

 

[Kel_Sulz235]

I don't mean to use as an excuse, but I hit my head very hard when I was younger and multiple times growing up. Some of those times were out of anger and I also have had very bad depression. So, I've been trying to justify all of this in my head (probably just the pride talking). It's so frustrating, sometimes I just let the thoughts run through my head because I just get so angry. I also read 2nd Corinthians chapter 12 verse 9. Where is talks about God giving Paul a thorn in his side to keep him from beimg conceited from all of the revelations God allowed him to have. He asked God to take it away from Him, but God said: "My grace is sufficient for you my power is made perfect in weakness".

 

[Mari17]

This is a very old thread. I have gone through the EXACT same thing, @jesuslover94. I get super confused because sometimes the OCD will focus on complacency and having a hardened heart. I think this may be or alreadt happened to family member and I am terrified. On the other hand, I get thoughts like I don't care about salvation (probably because I thought I blasphemed the Holy Spirit and the Devil is trying to mess with me). I'm so afraid and I've also been very prideful, and It feels like It's too late. I don't know what to do.

Are you able to get help for your OCD? Medication and/or therapy? OCD is highly treatable!

 

[RainbowBrains]

I don't mean to use as an excuse, but I hit my head very hard when I was younger and multiple times growing up. Some of those times were out of anger and I also have had very bad depression. So, I've been trying to justify all of this in my head (probably just the pride talking). It's so frustrating, sometimes I just let the thoughts run through my head because I just get so angry. I also read 2nd Corinthians chapter 12 verse 9. Where is talks about God giving Paul a thorn in his side to keep him from beimg conceited from all of the revelations God allowed him to have. He asked God to take it away from Him, but God said: "My grace is sufficient for you my power is made perfect in weakness".

I saw this video a while back. Head hits can cause damage that effects your behavior. You may want to het your head scanned. There may be something physical imvolved that can be fixed, like the kid at the end.