OCD,Smoking and trying to be Holy.

[Jahleel]

Hey all
I really need some help,and please be as honest as possible.
I suffer from OCD,and severe depression, i have found some solace (well i say some i mean if i wasn`t reading the bible, my life wouldn`t be worth living) in the bible or well more precisily, Jesus and the New Testament.

Now the problem i`m faced with is, smoking cheers me up, i mean i would be laughing having a joke, being polite etc, even though my ocd is bad, and i went to church the other day and prayed and asked god that if it`s his will to make me quit smoking,and well a few days later i got to a point where i wanted to quit (again) and so i haven`t had a smoke in about 2days and well this is where my trouble is, i feel the opposite to what i was like when i was smoking.
I`m losing interest in reading the bible, i get angry, grumpy, irritable, i`ve also started doing gluttony, and have had urges to go on pcorn sites,which i have survived before i had the pcorn addiction before and have survived it, i also feel some what lifeless, i mean i just can`t be bothered with anything.I`m the opposite to what i want to be.

I`ve read in the bible,something that says "blessed are those that drink alcohol for they are cheerful" or something along those lines, and i read Ephesians c4:29-32 and also in James 4:17 he says "it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it" and i know smoking is going to make me more cheerful and full of life then what i`m like now.

I`ve also started watching zombie movies and violent films,and playing first person shooter video games,again,which i gave up to be like Christ, and swearing and cussing my relatives.

I`m worried that if i go back smoking god`ll punish me,as i`ve gone against what i percieved to be his will,(and that`s another thing how do us OCDers know what`s god,and what`s ocd, i mean we`ll get an urge to do something,how do we know if it`s god or ocd.)
But honestly i`m getting to a point of where i couldn`t care, but each time i go to smoke,something tells me not to, and i read something i don`t know if it`s on here or a different site, that made me think it could be satan stopping me smoking because he knows it`ll make me a better person.

Can someone please help i`m so lost.

 

[dabro]

My beliefs are cigs damage the body that God gave you and can be a true stumbling block for new borns because thats what happen to me when I went to this church and almost the whole church smoked. God forgive me for my judging. What I'm trying to say is. I smoke now. If you feel led to quit then God will make a way for you. When I first started smoking I would buy a pack smoke one then throw all the ciggerrets away until I reach a point to where God was like don't stress it. I was trying in my own strength to quit but, couldn't. That was 5 yr's ago and now here I am smoking on a regular basis. I just wished I never picked up that bad habit to begin with. But pray for me as I pray for you. I know it's a hard road but you can do it and who knows you may inspire me to quit

 

[tripletiger1200]

It soundns like you try really hard to cut out all of your minor flaws from your life. But Guess what? Galatians 3 tells you that that isn't your job. THe Job of regenerating and changing you rests on the Holy Spirit. Of course you're having struggles now, the devil comes at us when we're weak or having a hard moment, like when he tempted Jesus after 40 days of fasting. You're going through some withdrawls from a chemical and this is the perfect time for him to try to get you. All you need to do is understand that it is normal to feel tempted and to pray for the strength to resist the temptation. Sure, you may fail sometimes, but one day the temptations will stop. If quitting smoking is really what you feel God wants you to do then don't let the temptations push you back in to smoking. Stay strong and weather the storm, and before you know it things will be better. God doesn't want you to be in bondage.

 

[Jahleel]

Bless you both, i decided to start smoking again, as well i was feeling far to suicidal for my own good and it was depleting the whole objective which was to be more holy and eliminate addiction.But with ocd that`s like really really hard.
And i suppose it could have just been me misinterpreting god, but it`s so hard to know what`s me, what`s god, what`s ocd and what`s the devil.
I`m getting some cbt soon praise be to the almighty one so will hopefully if it be gods will try then.I was starting well, i did start to blasphemy and i was the person i didn`t want to be, i was the opposite to what`s in my heart.Though i was inspired when i started again and answered some questions that where pondering around in my head before i quit, so i guess it was gods will and that`s why,or maybe it was some other divine reason, maybe he`s saying i`m being to hard on myself or like what you said tripletiger, like it says in galatians some things can only be done with the holy spirit,maybe that`s the lesson.
That you both God bless, and dabro i shall prey for you,when i`m begging for forgiveness (again)

 

[gracealone]

Jaheel and Dabro,
I have hypertension and high cholesterol and there's plenty of times that I eat things which I know are bad for my temple.
I have friends who have struggled with alcholism and cigarette addiction. They've kicked the alchohol but the cigarette addiction has been so hard for them to get over. I can't imagine trying to quit smoking whilst trying to treat a bad flare of OCD. That's just asking too much of yourself at one time. When the OCD has abated that would be the better time to try and tackle the cigarette addiction. My friends tell me that when they tried to quit smoking it made them a nervous wreck so I imagine that would add fuel to the anxiety we experience with OCD.
I do wish my friends, both of them dear Christians had been able to quit smoking but sadly they weren't able to so until great bodily damage was done. They are both in their 60's now, a married couple. One of them has end stage emphysema and stage one lung cancer. The other has stage four lung cancer that has spread to the brain and kidneys. I don't judge them for this. They have a tremendous testimony of faith as they walk through these dreaded illnesses.
Anyhow, if I can't stop eating food that's bad for me who am I to tell anyone that they should have had the strength to quit smoking. I don't get withdrawals from leaving a hot fudge sundae alone and I give in to that all the time. Praying for you, Dabro and Jaheel, that God in His good time will help you overcome this addiction. Meanwhile.. don't beat yourself up about it.
Mitzi

My beliefs are cigs damage the body that God gave you and can be a true stumbling block for new borns because thats what happen to me when I went to this church and almost the whole church smoked. God forgive me for my judging. What I'm trying to say is. I smoke now. If you feel led to quit then God will make a way for you. When I first started smoking I would buy a pack smoke one then throw all the ciggerrets away until I reach a point to where God was like don't stress it. I was trying in my own strength to quit but, couldn't. That was 5 yr's ago and now here I am smoking on a regular basis. I just wished I never picked up that bad habit to begin with. But pray for me as I pray for you. I know it's a hard road but you can do it and who knows you may inspire me to quit