OCD/Scrup/unbelief thoughts

Christian-Catholic · Sep 6, 2010

Thanks sheloves christ. when I saw the therapist the second time all he did was double the dosage on my meds and told me that they are trying to find counseling for me? I thought he would be my therapist and not just my med prescriber? Anyways im trying to contact a very nice therapist at catholic charites that said she would try to help in any way she could. I also gave her the link to this forum so she could better understand this more. She is very open and humble. I didnt want to contact her this weekend because its a holiday.

I just feel so exhausted

goldenviolet · Sep 6, 2010

bless your heart!! xo dee

shelovesChrist · Sep 6, 2010

cc ! stay encouraged . im glad she's taking time to understand where youre coming from . don't let the disappointment from the therapist get to you , for God will work this all out for your good . put your trust in Him , continue to pray and seek Him . He will keep you , He has kept me and im doing fine . it seems like its getting harder but it will get better by and by . praying for you

Christian-Catholic · Sep 7, 2010

Thank you ShelovesChrist, stopping prayers is not an option for me.

Christian-Catholic · Sep 26, 2010

I finally got a new therapist, she is an intern but reports directory to a therapist. She seemed very nice and understanding and was open to any options. I began by telling her about what happened to me. She ended by telling me to think of her and the therapist as well as me as a team, and she insisted on seeing me every week. I have been going to church on sundays and praying every day. I love the lord and I will never let go of him, no matter what these thoughts and feelings tell me.

I have also been on meds for about 6 to 7 weeks now.
You are all in my daily prayers

flowerforever7 · Sep 27, 2010

I just want to suggest something. I am in no way a doctor, and you should investigate whether this is good for yourself. There is something called inositol powder. It helps regulate seretonin in the brain, something people with OCD are believed to be short in. Studies have shown that when inositol is taken regularly for 4-6 weeks moderate to drastic improvements have been shown in people with OCD. The key is to continuously take it; it doesn't kick in that much until after 4-6 weeks. I just started taking it myself for my OCD because this disorder makes things so difficult for me. It is only week 2 that I am on it. I have actually noticed some mild improvement in the amount of intrusive thoughts and compulsive urges, though I can't expect to see really good results for about 3-4 more weeks. Also, you have to continuously take it or you will go back to the intensity of your symptoms. (I wish there were a known cure for OCD). I find Swanson brand vitamins carries it inexpensively. The GNC brand is really expensive, for very little of it. And people with OCD need to take up to 18 grams a day of it to see results. I have also read that GABA is said to help OCD too. But it has to be GABA which penetrates the blood brain barrier, regular GABA does not; so you would need to look for Picamilon GABA or Gabatropin. **PLEASE NOTE: I BELIEVE YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSE TO TAKE EITHER OF THESE SUPPLEMENTS IF YOU ARE ON A SSRI MEDICATION (anti-depressant - though other medication could possibly fall in the category of an SSRI you would need to read up on your medication to see if it is - if you are on any medication). TAKING THESE SUPPLEMENTS WHILE TAKING AN SSRI COULD CAUSE "SEROTONIN SYNDROME" WHICH CAN BE LIFE THREATNING. SO YOU SHOULD NOT TAKE ANY OF THESE SUPPLEMENTS IF YOU ARE TAKING AN SSRI OR AN ANTI-DEPRESSANT TYPE OF MEDICATION** Okay, just needed to give a disclaimer. I have gotten to the point where I am on a quest to try different natural stuff touted to be effective in treating OCD till I find something. I don't want OCD to cripple me any longer. God bless.

kaykay9.0 · Sep 27, 2010

Christian-Catholic said:
I finally got a new therapist, she is an intern but reports directory to a therapist. She seemed very nice and understanding and was open to any options. I began by telling her about what happened to me. She ended by telling me to think of her and the therapist as well as me as a team, and she insisted on seeing me every week. I have been going to church on sundays and praying every day. I love the lord and I will never let go of him, no matter what these thoughts and feelings tell me.

I have also been on meds for about 6 to 7 weeks now.
You are all in my daily prayers

Hope this new counseling arrangement works out well for you!

Christian-Catholic · Sep 27, 2010

flowerforever7 said:
I just want to suggest something. I am in no way a doctor, and you should investigate whether this is good for yourself. There is something called inositol powder. It helps regulate seretonin in the brain, something people with OCD are believed to be short in. Studies have shown that when inositol is taken regularly for 4-6 weeks moderate to drastic improvements have been shown in people with OCD. The key is to continuously take it; it doesn't kick in that much until after 4-6 weeks. I just started taking it myself for my OCD because this disorder makes things so difficult for me. It is only week 2 that I am on it. I have actually noticed some mild improvement in the amount of intrusive thoughts and compulsive urges, though I can't expect to see really good results for about 3-4 more weeks. Also, you have to continuously take it or you will go back to the intensity of your symptoms. (I wish there were a known cure for OCD). I find Swanson brand vitamins carries it inexpensively. The GNC brand is really expensive, for very little of it. And people with OCD need to take up to 18 grams a day of it to see results. I have also read that GABA is said to help OCD too. But it has to be GABA which penetrates the blood brain barrier, regular GABA does not; so you would need to look for Picamilon GABA or Gabatropin. **PLEASE NOTE: I BELIEVE YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSE TO TAKE EITHER OF THESE SUPPLEMENTS IF YOU ARE ON A SSRI MEDICATION (anti-depressant - though other medication could possibly fall in the category of an SSRI you would need to read up on your medication to see if it is - if you are on any medication). TAKING THESE SUPPLEMENTS WHILE TAKING AN SSRI COULD CAUSE "SEROTONIN SYNDROME" WHICH CAN BE LIFE THREATNING. SO YOU SHOULD NOT TAKE ANY OF THESE SUPPLEMENTS IF YOU ARE TAKING AN SSRI OR AN ANTI-DEPRESSANT TYPE OF MEDICATION** Okay, just needed to give a disclaimer. I have gotten to the point where I am on a quest to try different natural stuff touted to be effective in treating OCD till I find something. I don't want OCD to cripple me any longer. God bless.

Hello Flower, thank you so much for the caring advice. Unfortunately inosital was one of the first ones I took and it didnt help as my ocd thoughts were so bad that I almost comitted suicide twice , and because of my situation at home I had to call the crisis hotline from a cell phone at night right outside my church, but by Gods will, somehow I am still here and still fighting.
I really hope inositol can help you . It has been known to help many people from what Ive heard, unfortunatly I wasnt one of those.
God bless and thank you so much for caring enough to post

Christian-Catholic · Sep 27, 2010

kaykay9.0 said:
Hope this new counseling arrangement works out well for you!

Thank you Kaykay, she seemed very nice and caring. I will not give up ever. I love the lord too much to quite and he loves me too much to let me
I hope all is going well for you Kaykay
God bless

kaykay9.0 · Sep 27, 2010

Christian-Catholic said:
Thank you Kaykay, she seemed very nice and caring. I will not give up ever. I love the lord too much to quite and he loves me too much to let me
I hope all is going well for you Kaykay
God bless

I think that's what you have to decide....that you have made your decision for Jesus. Deep down your faith continues and you will just keep on walking.

Sometimes it does take some time to find the right counselor/meds etc. Hang in with that too.

flowerforever7 · Sep 28, 2010

Sorry to hear inositol did not work for you. I was doing some reading early this morning about something called NAC (N-acetylcysteine) which has proven to be very beneficial in treating OCD. There was a study done at Yale that is saying OCD may be largely attributted to hyperactivity in the cortico-striato-thalamo-cortical (CSTC) of people with OCD, and particularly because of excess glutamatergic activity in the brains of people with OCD. NAC is said to regulate or normalize glutamate activity in the brain which signifigantly can reduce OCD symptoms, which may be more effective for people who are not that responsive to traditional treatment of OCD. I was quite happy that I read about this early this morning, as I may seek to implement NAC in treatment of my OCD. I found some articles on this (they are a little meaty), but give a great explanation of what is going on in the brain from a neuro-biological perspective, and also talk about cutting edge treatments for OCD. Unfortunately, I cannot post links yet in the forum as I only have 18 posts so far, but you can google information on these. Riluzole (brand name: Rilutek) is mentioned as a traditional medication that works more specifically and sometimes more effectively for OCD. And NAC is mentioned as natural over the counter supplement that is powerful at normalizing glutamate in the brain and thereby greatly reducing OCD symptoms. You may need to look up the doses which are reccommended for treatment for OCD.

I'm glad that we have different options to try to treat ourselves. If you end up trying any of these, I hope they work for you better than inositol did.

ajmo · Dec 29, 2010

Hello I am new to this site. I having been dealing with OCD for a long time. I am a believer and have been since I was very young. I had OCD as a child but not bad, just little obsessions. Around 21 years old I did alittle drugs from time to time marijuana and cocaine. One particular day I freebased with people who did this all the time; I tried to act as they did knowing I wasn't that experienced. Anyways, I knew I had done too much. Later that evening I began to get so afraid, I had panic attacks, couldn't sleep and thought I was going to die. I remember I went outside and prayed to God if he would get me through this i would never do anymore drug again (This was Jul 3, 1986) From that day on I never did anymore drugs. Well for a few months I didn't want to eat, couldn't sleep, cried all the time, everytime I prayed I was have these bad thoughts come to my mind about GOD. I was a mess. Well as months went by I got better. Then a few years later that same feeling came over me again around the same time of year, the fear, thoughts, depression. I finally got on medication and felt better after awhile and the thoughts were not as bad and I could ignore. This went on and off for years. Now I'm in the same state again, I'm not really eating, crying, fearful, having the uncontrollable thoughts, that I know are rediculous about the Lord. Sometimes I just feel like not going on than have these thoughts abut GOD and the trinity. It's crazy because I know deep down inside it's not me and everyone tells me that I'm not even that type of person. I just wish I never did that back in 1986, I wish I could turn back the hands of time.I dont want to be lost. I remember reading something Jimmy Swaggart wrote about the unpardonable sin and eve since then I obsess about doing that. I tell myself that God wont give us anything we can't bear and he called me at a young age and why would he allow me to lose my salvation. I just want this to stop so I can be happy with my family again because I know it's not fair to them, and I want to be free to love, praise and worship God as I was meant to be without worrying about a evil thought coming up or me believing the thoughts which keep me away from reading or praying.

Thanks for listening.
Jeannie

SoldierOfSoul · Dec 30, 2010

God loves you Jeannie, those things you did are in the past and God has promised to forget (He has the power to do that) the sins we confess to Him, if He doesn't remember or care then why should you? He is holy and hates sin, but is hatred for sin does not compare to His love for us. Trust in that love, don't let the devil defeat you over past sin that has been nailed to the cross, God bless you.

ajmo · Dec 30, 2010

Thank you for your reply but I still don't understand why I continue to think this way. I really don't want to. I feel like I'm doing this on purpose. These are thoughts that I would never speak. Everyday I wish this was a dream, it's like the more I fight the thoughts they seem to be stronger.

flowerforever7 · Dec 30, 2010

ajmo said:
Hello I am new to this site. I having been dealing with OCD for a long time. I am a believer and have been since I was very young. I had OCD as a child but not bad, just little obsessions. Around 21 years old I did alittle drugs from time to time marijuana and cocaine. One particular day I freebased with people who did this all the time; I tried to act as they did knowing I wasn't that experienced. Anyways, I knew I had done too much. Later that evening I began to get so afraid, I had panic attacks, couldn't sleep and thought I was going to die. I remember I went outside and prayed to God if he would get me through this i would never do anymore drug again (This was Jul 3, 1986) From that day on I never did anymore drugs. Well for a few months I didn't want to eat, couldn't sleep, cried all the time, everytime I prayed I was have these bad thoughts come to my mind about GOD. I was a mess. Well as months went by I got better. Then a few years later that same feeling came over me again around the same time of year, the fear, thoughts, depression. I finally got on medication and felt better after awhile and the thoughts were not as bad and I could ignore. This went on and off for years. Now I'm in the same state again, I'm not really eating, crying, fearful, having the uncontrollable thoughts, that I know are rediculous about the Lord. Sometimes I just feel like not going on than have these thoughts abut GOD and the trinity. It's crazy because I know deep down inside it's not me and everyone tells me that I'm not even that type of person. I just wish I never did that back in 1986, I wish I could turn back the hands of time.I dont want to be lost. I remember reading something Jimmy Swaggart wrote about the unpardonable sin and eve since then I obsess about doing that. I tell myself that God wont give us anything we can't bear and he called me at a young age and why would he allow me to lose my salvation. I just want this to stop so I can be happy with my family again because I know it's not fair to them, and I want to be free to love, praise and worship God as I was meant to be without worrying about a evil thought coming up or me believing the thoughts which keep me away from reading or praying.

Thanks for listening.
Jeannie

I understand what you mean, I wish I would have never abused drugs either, I think it made a mild ocd a bunch of times worse. One thing people have been trying to get me to understand on this forum is that the OCD thoughts are synthetic thoughts, even though they feel real. People have encouraged me to label the thoughts as OCD when I have them and continue on with my business. I have been told that giving signifigance to the the thoughts perpetuates anxiety which furthers the cycle of compulsions and more anxious thoughts, you become anxious about having OCD thoughts and when you have them they are that much more disturbing to you. I have been told a key is to not give them signifigance, call them what they are "synthetic ocd thoughts" and keep going with life. For me, I also know I have to avoid my triggers, for example I cannot have caffiene (chocolate, coffee, etc), as it escalates the OCD thoughts. God knows your heart, knows you inside and out and He knows that you are grieved at these thoughts, He also knows this is a anxiety disorder that you want to go away. He knows you don't want these thoughts, and that you are grieved when they appear in your head.

ajmo · Dec 30, 2010

Yes I am going to hold on to this truth that they are not significant. I know I have given too much significance to the thoughts, and there are many times where I think this is rediculous to be thinking this way. It seems like as the day goes by I feel better, then morning comes and I feel the anxiety because of the fear of (me), my feelings and thoughts. I'm presently taking Zoloft 150 mg and Ativan as needed for anxiety. I have problems sleeping so I just started take tranzadone, I was using Ambien in the past. I wish I didn't have to take medicine and sometimes want to just stop taking them but I guess this is an illness that has to be treated. I really just want my life back, I was always a pretty happy person and knew I loved the Lord. Now with this craziness going on I don't know who I am anymore. I sometimes think also how I would be the type to allow others to sometimes take advantage of me, or never want to hurt peoples feelings. So because of this maybe this is why I have allowed this thing to happen because I'm not a strong person. I also hate the fact that it is attached to my faith. This is probably sad to say but I wish my OCD was more about handwashing or germs. I'm sorry I guess I just had to vent. I have been on vacation for two weeks from work which I guess doesn't help because I have to make myself get up and occupy my self.

shelovesChrist · Dec 30, 2010

post i pray for you . and i know that the Lord will keep you through this, as He did me, as He is doing others on here. for me they started last year, the hardest year of my life, and while they try to come back sometimes it has no power over me anymore . because i know that i am His and that it can't change how He sees me or how He loves me. and He loves you and He knows your heart and nothing, not even this, can change that. cling to Him, even though it hurts, even though you are unsure and unafraid, believe in Jesus, He is there (= praying for you

ajmo · Dec 30, 2010

Thank you so much for your prayers!!! Nothing can separate me from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus. I have to keep reminding myself that this too shall pass.

ajmo · Dec 30, 2010

I meant to ask you all, did you have to take any medications and if so which one?

flowerforever7 · Dec 30, 2010

ajmo said:
Yes I am going to hold on to this truth that they are not significant. I know I have given too much significance to the thoughts, and there are many times where I think this is rediculous to be thinking this way. It seems like as the day goes by I feel better, then morning comes and I feel the anxiety because of the fear of (me), my feelings and thoughts. I'm presently taking Zoloft 150 mg and Ativan as needed for anxiety. I have problems sleeping so I just started take tranzadone, I was using Ambien in the past. I wish I didn't have to take medicine and sometimes want to just stop taking them but I guess this is an illness that has to be treated. I really just want my life back, I was always a pretty happy person and knew I loved the Lord. Now with this craziness going on I don't know who I am anymore. I sometimes think also how I would be the type to allow others to sometimes take advantage of me, or never want to hurt peoples feelings. So because of this maybe this is why I have allowed this thing to happen because I'm not a strong person. I also hate the fact that it is attached to my faith. This is probably sad to say but I wish my OCD was more about handwashing or germs. I'm sorry I guess I just had to vent. I have been on vacation for two weeks from work which I guess doesn't help because I have to make myself get up and occupy my self.

I understand. I wish mine would go back to simple things like just doing things like flicking on the lights a certain number of times. I don't think it has to do with you not being a strong person. I think it is more a mixture of a chemical imbalance in our brains coupled with anxiety. I know what you mean about wishing OCD would not attach itself to faith. However, that is the nature of the disorder, it tends to attach itself to what you most care about. The fact that your OCD has attached itself to your faith is a clear indicator that your faith in God means a whole lot to you, and it is very important to you. God sees that.

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