OCD or being Possessed !

[corperatestore37]

WARNING : for those who are extremely sensative to spiritual talk especially relating to evil thoughts, this may trigger....

I have been diagnosed with ocd, but nonetheless - i am distubed by evil thoughts...

i was doing ok for a little while, and my brain is like a radio but always tuned into one station obessing about everything.... i think at this point i may be possessed or a very evil man. what my christian consellor described my state as being episodic. it can be as simple and dumb as a obsessing about items, to a very spirituall complex matter like the unpardonable sin. well this has been the toughest hump for me to battle. but lately i been getting extremely blasphemous thoughts that i mite be possessed by the devil or that im not a christian.. a bombardment or attacking thoughts - that i may be the antichrist or devil, satan or what have you or something...? and i also thought of my family as being those things.. And this hurts me tremendously. I feel horrible telling them, because i feel that i will be disowned, because the thoughts that i regularly get are evil, lustful, and not God honoring... as previously mentioned... (makes me think im not normal at all, or a lunatic, pyscho. etc.) i thought God may be those things too, so the only reason why im still alive is that i realize its only logical for my brain to touch base that i may be those horrible things too. i mention this because of how torcherous these thoughts have become, and frequently i fantasize about ending my life, even tho i do not plan to. I don't feel human at all, because i wonder if theres people like me out there that constant evil or intrusive thoughts like this, i have no self confidence obviously because of these tough times and i don't feel very well in general, i feel wore down. i got in the routine of rejecting the thoughts, but now i have reached a point of mental exhaustion and i just don't feel like dismissing the blasphemous thoughts and now their bombarding me at no end... what was more alarming is that i tried to google others who thought the same, and i can't find a whole lot. am i the only one who has these thoughts, are they true ? i can't stand living like this, where the thoughts are so loud, and i don't want to believe them, i obsess about it day and day out and i just try to be a good person, but i have horrible addictions and always feel guilty at church... alot of the times i fantasize about suicide or i would prefer the Lord to take me in my sleep because if i committed suicide i would put my salvation in jeopardy.... i know for some reason i still think im a christian despite these HORRIBLE BLASPHEMOUS thoughts.... nonethless i still feel like a naked soldier and i need help ! bad. i am also still suffering from the the notorious unpardonable sin obsession. intrusive thoughts for 1 or 2 years straight. i been trying to read scripture.. and im scared that im the only one out their with these intrusive thoughts making them all the more believable... the only reason why im still alive, is because in my mind i realize that when i was a child i didn't have these thoughts and i wasn't bothered, and that theres a slight reality part of my brain thats still working saying that i have an illness... but what do you suggest i do to combat these thoughts, im very discouraged, never felt more awful in m y entire life, and afraid of telling people my horrible thoughts and don't know what to do...

things to note:
im not on any steady medication yet
i take lorazopam when i need too
i go to church regularly
i have a few bad addictions, smoking is one.

thanks for reading this junk.
if you feel that my situation is salvagable, please pray for me...

george.

 

[Jesuslovesme29]

You are not posessed by a demon, Christians cannot be possessed but they can be demonized (oppressed) but that is another story.

Have you been to a doctor about this? If you read through the forum you are far from being the only one

Praying for you

Also I know you are struggling with porn, I think the porn addiction forum is down atm but if you go into "Faith Groups" and go to the "Spirit-Filled/Charismatic" section there is a thread called "The problem of Porn addiction in the Church" I cannot link it because of my post count...but you can find alot of support in there and help with finding out how to solve this problem. You need deliverance from it. The Spirit of Lust has hit many people in the church and you can get deliverance from it

 

[kaykay9.0]

You are not posessed by a demon, Christians cannot be possessed but they can be demonized (oppressed) but that is another story.

Have you been to a doctor about this? If you read through the forum you are far from being the only one

Praying for you

Also I know you are struggling with porn, I think the porn addiction forum is down atm but if you go into "Faith Groups" and go to the "Spirit-Filled/Charismatic" section there is a thread called "The problem of Porn addiction in the Church" I cannot link it because of my post count...but you can find alot of support in there and help with finding out how to solve this problem. You need deliverance from it. The Spirit of Lust has hit many people in the church and you can get deliverance from it

good post. I agree.

Yes, you may need to add an SSRI to your meds. I would recommend also that you receive some psychiatric help/counsel for this. Believe it or not, all this stuff sounds pretty common for OCD.

 

[keryakos]

i agree 100% with Jesuslovesme

and i would add that if you were possesed you wouldn't be on this forum talking about it ..

 

[corperatestore37]

thanks for the support. i think its just the fact that i get the thoughts that really bother me the most. but i know that my mind works that way for a postive affect. like when i read scripture i can obsess about a verse.. and whatnot. i think of ephesians 1.

im relieved that im not the only 1, but i feel sad for others who also suffer the same... i woudn't wish this on any of my friends...

i will check out the porn addiction forums...

to add further, i saw the doctor today, and i presented this to him and he didn't much to say other than every ocd patient has their issues, and mine wasn't that different than anyone elses, is from what i gathered, and we discussed thought patterning and the content of the thoughts.. he prescribed me some anti-depressants, i was on this particular one b4, but and had a bit of side effects, but im willing to try it again, because i can't handle the thoughts anymore... i am willing to take another shot at it. and the dr is going to keep me monitered ... (and wants to see me again in another 2 weeks)

again thanks for your replies, i wasn't expecting any.

I'm pretty drugged up right now, (prescription of course, along with the frequent lorazopam. chose this option as opposed to admitting myself in a local hosptial) and feel pretty sleepy. my day today has been pretty much NEUTRAL. which is a bonus...

george.

PS. does anyone have any good scripture based on keeping your mind pure ? or not letting yourself be discouraged ? or feeling that God has left you ? any of these topics would be great if someone could touch on them.

 

[corperatestore37]

there is hope in the Lord.

i prayed for wisdom and God certainly granted me it, as i came to another conclusion.

My situation can't be all that bad, when Jesus was accused of worse. And are minds are like our enemy since we are still living in a earthly body, the flesh is not your friend...

I still need rapid prayer, because the bad thoughts and obsessions harass me, i have seen a doctor and im now on medication, that also could be helping as its allowing me to think more logically.

thanks again. The Lord is able to deliver us from turmoil !

george.

 

[green wolverine]

Like someone else mentioned, a Christian can't be possessed.

 

[Chococat]

One Scripture that I feel the Lord is laying on my mind for my OCD/depression etc is the one that says "be transformed by the renewing of your mind". I don't know what where it is exactly only it is in one of Paul's letters (one of the Corinthian ones I think but I'll check it out if you want). In the meantime I'm praying for you.