OCD In Prayer

[GraceDaily]

This is a bit like the other thread about prayer but something else that has been effecting me lately and I wondered if anyone experiences the same thing. I used to have bad OCD but i got over that although it does still creep into my life in various ways.

When I pray I find myself repeating myself a lot, like I keep saying thank you then please forgive me and I keep repeating it, sometimes I think inappropriate things while praying, maybe something I feel is disrespectful etc so I ask for forgiveness again and say thank you but it keeps on going and going and gets very frustrating. Any advice?

 

[TheDeepblue]

Sometimes just going to pray to God is tough for me. Then when I am praying to Him I have thoughts such as "What if He doesn't hear me?" "What if I actually don't mean what I say?" That accompanied with an avalanche of other bad thoughts make it real hard. I also repeat "Please forgive me" "Please have mercy on me" and such during just one prayer. All I know is to push through and continue to pray to Him anyways. We are to pray without hesitation. And your intentions are to go to God to pray for all the right reasons. To build your relationship with Him, acknowledge your failures, ask for His help, and to praise Him for all He does for you. I hope what I said helps a little. I struggle with this as well.

 

[babegirl111]

Hey, I used to have extemely bad OCD when I was praying. Now I am having it when I read my bible. It seems like I have to continually repeat "Lord" over and over when I am reading until it sounds just right. It gets frustrating and I actually have cuts under my tounge from biting trying to say HIS name perfectly. I broke down tonight and just started to cry. I believe it is because I have not taken my meds in a while that i started to cry. GOD BLESS!

 

[GraceDaily]

^Oh wow, yeah I know how that feels, it's so frustrating.

 

[SkyCloud]

I have found out that this going around in circles is something that's just an illusion. It's not worth repeating over and over. It's not something we're supposed to do. It's like you forget what you just said, right? One thing you can say is, "Dear God, please know my desires. Please answer my heart's desires whether I asked them or not."

 

[Lisa0315]

I have been praying for God to help me. I feel like such a failure as a Christian. It is like I have come full circle. When I was a kid, I would go down to the altar every service and pray, "HelpmeHelpmeHelpmeHelpme" over and over and over. I never felt joy and I finally ran away from Christianity. I blamed people and God. Anyway, 4 years ago, I came back to the faith. After much struggling I feel like I am right back where I started. I feel like the worst Christian in the universe and I am starting to pray like that again. Plus I have other phrases that I say to myself whether I am praying or not. This morning, it hit me like a ton of bricks (and I actually believe it was the answer to my many prayers)...I think I have a form of this OCD. My Mom is classic OCD with the whole windows and doors and appliance thing. I don't do that but I count and have these phrases. I also need to do things in a certain order, so I have routines, but not repetitive ones.

I have gotten to the point where I cannot even read the Bible anymore and I hurry through my prayers because I feel so guilty I cannot face God. I have also been avoiding church.

What is the treatment for this?

Lisa

 

[SkyCloud]

Well, what I can tell you right now is that staying away from reading the Bible, and hurrying through prayers, etc, is all an illusion. It seems to me it might be a chemical in the mind that is unbalanced. I've felt something like that before. But when God fixes the chemicals in my mind, I notice that I could read the Bible just fine, and I can pray just fine. What it may take is medication from the doctor, after the doctor has evaluated you.

 

[Lisa0315]

Well, what I can tell you right now is that staying away from reading the Bible, and hurrying through prayers, etc, is all an illusion. It seems to me it might be a chemical in the mind that is unbalanced. I've felt something like that before. But when God fixes the chemicals in my mind, I notice that I could read the Bible just fine, and I can pray just fine. What it may take is medication from the doctor, after the doctor has evaluated you.

Yeah, I went ahead and set up an appointment yesterday. I will see my MD a week from tomorrow.

Lisa

 

[GraceDaily]

Lisa that sounds like a form of OCD, I can relate to that. You aren't a bad Christian though, we all sin and the fact you have faith alone is enough for God to love you.

 

[kaykay537]

I have been praying for God to help me. I feel like such a failure as a Christian. It is like I have come full circle. When I was a kid, I would go down to the altar every service and pray, "HelpmeHelpmeHelpmeHelpme" over and over and over. I never felt joy and I finally ran away from Christianity. I blamed people and God. Anyway, 4 years ago, I came back to the faith. After much struggling I feel like I am right back where I started. I feel like the worst Christian in the universe and I am starting to pray like that again. Plus I have other phrases that I say to myself whether I am praying or not. This morning, it hit me like a ton of bricks (and I actually believe it was the answer to my many prayers)...I think I have a form of this OCD. My Mom is classic OCD with the whole windows and doors and appliance thing. I don't do that but I count and have these phrases. I also need to do things in a certain order, so I have routines, but not repetitive ones.

I have gotten to the point where I cannot even read the Bible anymore and I hurry through my prayers because I feel so guilty I cannot face God. I have also been avoiding church.

What is the treatment for this?

Lisa

Usually, the treatment is SSRI type anti-depressants, because they regulate serotonin involved with OCD and/or counseling with someone familiar with treating OCD. Your story sounds like mine. It was only about 5 years ago I recognized the problem as struggling with OCD. Actually, a counselor recognized it. Some doctors don't recognize that some people have the Pure O kind, they don't hand wash or do compulsions. (Though, like in my case, I DID hand wash as a child. Which should have been a tip-off, but it wasn't.) I eventually saw a psychiatrist who said he believed that OCD was a spectrum. When it is pretty mild, it may not be noticed as readily.

For me, Lisa, it has been incredibly empowering simply to know that this is what I've struggled with. Just knowing in the midst of some of my "issues" that this could be OCD thinking has helped me pull out of it somewhat.

 

[Lisa0315]

Usually, the treatment is SSRI type anti-depressants, because they regulate serotonin involved with OCD and/or counseling with someone familiar with treating OCD. Your story sounds like mine. It was only about 5 years ago I recognized the problem as struggling with OCD. Actually, a counselor recognized it. Some doctors don't recognize that some people have the Pure O kind, they don't hand wash or do compulsions. (Though, like in my case, I DID hand wash as a child. Which should have been a tip-off, but it wasn't.) I eventually saw a psychiatrist who said he believed that OCD was a spectrum. When it is pretty mild, it may not be noticed as readily.

For me, Lisa, it has been incredibly empowering simply to know that this is what I've struggled with. Just knowing in the midst of some of my "issues" that this could be OCD thinking has helped me pull out of it somewhat.

In a way it has helped to know that there may be an explanation. In other ways, it has made things worse. I see the MD on Friday. I will be able to tell more then. The thing is, I am already on an anti-depressant, so I don't know if medication will help with mine. I am not sure that I can talk to anyone about some of the things I think.

Lisa

 

[kaykay9.0]

Medicine, unfortunately, is not a cure-all, I don't think, for most people who struggle with OCD. It just alleviates the symptoms to some degree. Dampens it down to a more manageable level. Personally, I am fighting it everyway I know and also praying for healing of this. I would also recommend you check out the book Brain Lock. It is available on www.amazon.com. Deals with a self-help strategy and has some good info about OCD in general. Also, you might check out The Doubting Disease. Deals a lot with religious OCD and scrupulosity. (Also, I don't think it's necessary to have to reveal your exact thoughts to your doctor, just the generalized nature of the struggle.)

Also, some anti-depressants work better for OCD, I think, than others. Sometimes experimenting around helps too.

 

[Lisa0315]

Medicine, unfortunately, is not a cure-all, I don't think for most people who struggle with OCD. It just alleviates the symptoms to some degree. Dampens it down to a more manageable level. Personally, I am fighting it everyway I know and also praying for healing of this. I would also recommend you check out the book Brain Lock. It is available on www.amazon.com. Deals with a self-help strategy and has some good info about OCD in general. Also, you might check out The Doubting Disease. Deals a lot with religious OCD and scrupulosity.

Also, some anti-depressants work better for OCD, I think, than others. Sometimes experimenting around helps too.

Well, I am going back and forth, hopeful one minute, upset the next. I tore my house up last night looking for my childhood Bible that would "prove" I am OCD. I wanted to take it with me to the MD appointment. I am afraid that they are going to tell me that there is nothing they can do, or that I am just making it up so that I don't have to take responsibility for my sin. (Should that be "sin"?) I never did find the Bible that I have had since I was five years old. It has hundreds, probably thousands of underlined verses in it. I used to spend hours underlining verses although I cannot remember the "system" I used now. I had forgotten about it until the other day. I am remembering alot of things now. I am also realizing how much I surpress which is probably one of my defense mechanisms. When I start thinking about it, trying to remember, I immediately go into one of my phrase routines. How the heck do I get treatment if I cannot even face the thoughts that cause me to spaz out?

Lisa

 

[kaykay9.0]

We aren't suppose to "diagnose" on these threads, but I will say that if you have read all this, and you think you battle OCD, you probably do. One of the primary symptoms of some types of OCD is "unwanted, intrusive" thoughts. Not all doctors understand OCD, especially the "pure O" type. Even if someone were to tell you that you don't have it, that wouldn't necessarily be the case.

Again, I ended up going to a psychiatrist and he said in his opinion, OCD was on a spectrum from very severe to very mild. As I posted earlier, the milder cases (especially with no compulsions) may go undiagnosed.

Prayers for you, Lisa~

 

[Lisa0315]

We aren't suppose to "diagnose" on these threads, but I will say that if you have read all this, and you think you battle OCD, you probably do. One of the primary symptoms of some types of OCD is "unwanted, intrusive" thoughts. Not all doctors understand OCD, especially the "pure O" type. Even if someone were to tell you that you don't have it, that wouldn't necessarily be the case.

Again, I ended up going to a psychiatrist and he said in his opinion, OCD was on a spectrum from very severe to very mild. As I posted earlier, the milder cases (especially with no compulsions) may go undiagnosed.

Prayers for you, Lisa~

Thank you, Kay. I really trust my doctors. I have been seeing them for two years now for my depression, but I think this may be the source of my depression. I think one feeds off of the other.

Lisa

 

[kaykay9.0]

Thank you, Kay. I really trust my doctors. I have been seeing them for two years now for my depression, but I think this may be the source of my depression. I think one feeds off of the other.

Lisa

Hopefully, they will understand, then, what you are trying to tell them. And yeah, I agree that often one can "feed" off the other.