Hello everyone!
I am new here! And I have OCD (I was diagnosed a few years ago.) Anyway, I was reading through the threads in the OCD section, and was amazed at how I could empathize with so many people.
For years, one of my obsessions was fear that I was never really saved. It started in high school and continued into my early 20's. I would google, trying to find information about how you knew you were saved, etc. I would talk with any Christian person I could at church. I would say the sinner's prayer, repent, etc. I would pray to God for assurance that I was saved.
But each time, nothing happened. I remained the same. I didn't notice any changes in my life. 
Years passed, and the doubts grew worse. Eventually, I began to believe that I wasn't meant to be saved, that I was too awful. And that God didn't want me to be saved and didn't care about me.
Eventually, I stopped praying for assurance, believing that God wasn't going to answer me. One day, I felt the Holy Spirit put on my heart to accept Jesus as my Savior. I did. (I had accepted Jesus as my Savior for the first time when I was 14/15.)
Then this wonderful peace came over me, and I felt God's prescence. It as if the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart, telling me "You're saved. You will be all right." I know that feelings/emotions aren't everything, but it was more than a feeling. Like God was assuring me.
Of course, OCD tries to make you doubt anyway it can. The doubt my OCD used was making me doubt if it was God who spoken to me at all, or if I was being decieved by the Devil.
So I started googling how you can discern whether it's God speaking to you or not.
I have noticed changes in my life. I still struggle with swearing, but not as much. When a swear word does slip out, I feel like the Holy Spirit is telling me to ask for forgivness.
Anyway, this has been my current obsession. I don't know what I am asking for...prayers? Encouragement? Just wanted to share I guess.
Can God and I have a good relationship despite my OCD?
I am new here! And I have OCD (I was diagnosed a few years ago.) Anyway, I was reading through the threads in the OCD section, and was amazed at how I could empathize with so many people.
For years, one of my obsessions was fear that I was never really saved. It started in high school and continued into my early 20's. I would google, trying to find information about how you knew you were saved, etc. I would talk with any Christian person I could at church. I would say the sinner's prayer, repent, etc. I would pray to God for assurance that I was saved.
But each time, nothing happened. I remained the same. I didn't notice any changes in my life. Years passed, and the doubts grew worse. Eventually, I began to believe that I wasn't meant to be saved, that I was too awful. And that God didn't want me to be saved and didn't care about me.
Eventually, I stopped praying for assurance, believing that God wasn't going to answer me. One day, I felt the Holy Spirit put on my heart to accept Jesus as my Savior. I did. (I had accepted Jesus as my Savior for the first time when I was 14/15.)
Then this wonderful peace came over me, and I felt God's prescence. It as if the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart, telling me "You're saved. You will be all right." I know that feelings/emotions aren't everything, but it was more than a feeling. Like God was assuring me.
Of course, OCD tries to make you doubt anyway it can. The doubt my OCD used was making me doubt if it was God who spoken to me at all, or if I was being decieved by the Devil.
So I started googling how you can discern whether it's God speaking to you or not.
I have noticed changes in my life. I still struggle with swearing, but not as much. When a swear word does slip out, I feel like the Holy Spirit is telling me to ask for forgivness. Anyway, this has been my current obsession. I don't know what I am asking for...prayers? Encouragement? Just wanted to share I guess.
Can God and I have a good relationship despite my OCD?
