OCD and Witnessing

[npw11]

If I would normally rate my anxiousness due to my past OCD episodes a 7/10, this would be a 9/10. And it gets to the point that I am now avoiding a lot of social gatherings. My mind currently focuses on the need to witness to others. I know that there is OCD involved, but to what extent I am not so sure. Whenever there is a social gathering (me and at least one other person), I would constantly get these "mind dares" to witness to others. They sounded like, "Do you dare to witness to this person now? Are you not doing it because you are ashamed of the gospel? Or are you not doing it because you are afraid of losing your friends?" To reduce the anxiety, I would analyze the situation: whether or not it is the appropriate occasion to witness (whether the timing is appropriate, my relationship with this person, etc). And it helps. But, whenever I am not fully convinced that it is not the appropriate situation to witness, I would get anxiety that would drive me to my wit's end. I can't help but to label myself as a coward after the social gathering ends.

I have shared the gospel in the past. However, I admit it that there is a part of me that is still fearful of sharing the gospel. However, if I need to make the choice between Jesus or my friends, I would choose Jesus. It is just that I don't want to lose my friends unnecessarily because of OCD. I know that it sounds like I'm calm but I'm actually struggling, I need help. Quoting relevant Scriptures prove to be effective. Thanks.

 

[Pavel Mosko]

I think you got the cart before the horse. (backwards)

I think you should put your energy towards getting better and testify to how God helps you when people notice your improvement.

 

[Dendy]

I couldn't have said it better. You need to get help and get to feeling better first. So many people these days say and do things that are wrong. One could testify all day long. You need to not worry about that right now. I hope you begin to feel better soon!

 

[Mari17]

If I would normally rate my anxiousness due to my past OCD episodes a 7/10, this would be a 9/10. And it gets to the point that I am now avoiding a lot of social gatherings. My mind currently focuses on the need to witness to others. I know that there is OCD involved, but to what extent I am not so sure. Whenever there is a social gathering (me and at least one other person), I would constantly get these "mind dares" to witness to others. They sounded like, "Do you dare to witness to this person now? Are you not doing it because you are ashamed of the gospel? Or are you not doing it because you are afraid of losing your friends?" To reduce the anxiety, I would analyze the situation: whether or not it is the appropriate occasion to witness (whether the timing is appropriate, my relationship with this person, etc). And it helps. But, whenever I am not fully convinced that it is not the appropriate situation to witness, I would get anxiety that would drive me to my wit's end. I can't help but to label myself as a coward after the social gathering ends.

I have shared the gospel in the past. However, I admit it that there is a part of me that is still fearful of sharing the gospel. However, if I need to make the choice between Jesus or my friends, I would choose Jesus. It is just that I don't want to lose my friends unnecessarily because of OCD. I know that it sounds like I'm calm but I'm actually struggling, I need help. Quoting relevant Scriptures prove to be effective. Thanks.

I've had a similar obsession. OCD likes to try to get us to feel/do things that are strange, disturbing, or uncomfortable. It gets us hyper-analyzing a situation to the point where we can't even hear our intuition/common sense anymore. It sounds like you have good common sense - that is, you kind of "know" when it would be appropriate to share Jesus and when it wouldn't. I would say that, in most cases, witnessing because of your OCD is actually the wrong thing to do. In that case, you're witnessing to relieve your anxiety, not because the Holy Spirit is actually leading you to do so. The key to gaining victory over OCD is to learn to NOT listen to it, to not obey it. By doing that, we become able to "hear" our true convictions and consciences again. It's hard to do, though, and I totally understand the accompanying anxiety! Are you currently getting any support or professional help for your OCD?

 

[ST673]

I had a witnessing obsession and it was maybe my most tormenting and debilitating obsession. Like Mari17 taught me if it feels like OCD don't do it...don't do it...don't do it!! Did I mention don't do it?? and rely on God's grace to cover us from there. I think if it were truly something you were supposed to do it would feel more peaceful and not all urgent and anxiety ridden like OCD compulsions make us feel. This obsession was dark and horrific for me. I may have even thought I saw "signs" that I should be doing it but I've also learned that ocd does that to us as well. I think if we are obsessing about something we will notice it more and "see signs" whereas free of the obsession we may not even notice those things I think our brain just turns it into something it's not. Anyway I hope I'm not rambling I've just suffered with this so much and come so far. I hope you get some relief soon ❤ search here for the witnessing obsession and read the replies, that may help as well.

 

[npw11]

I've had a similar obsession. OCD likes to try to get us to feel/do things that are strange, disturbing, or uncomfortable. It gets us hyper-analyzing a situation to the point where we can't even hear our intuition/common sense anymore. It sounds like you have good common sense - that is, you kind of "know" when it would be appropriate to share Jesus and when it wouldn't. I would say that, in most cases, witnessing because of your OCD is actually the wrong thing to do. In that case, you're witnessing to relieve your anxiety, not because the Holy Spirit is actually leading you to do so. The key to gaining victory over OCD is to learn to NOT listen to it, to not obey it. By doing that, we become able to "hear" our true convictions and consciences again. It's hard to do, though, and I totally understand the accompanying anxiety! Are you currently getting any support or professional help for your OCD?

I agree with you entirely. I've been able to reduce my anxiety by labeling these "mind dares" as Satan's voices, as he is called "the accuser of our brethren" in Revelations 12:10 (NKJV). And yes, I am meeting a Christian psychiatrist on a regular basis.

However, I am now actually anxious about when that moment will come when I'll actually have to share the gospel with others. As a result, I am in a constant unease in my everyday life. Any advice on this? Advice from others are welcome! Thanks Mari17 and ST673 for sharing!

 

[Mari17]

I agree with you entirely. I've been able to reduce my anxiety by labeling these "mind dares" as Satan's voices, as he is called "the accuser of our brethren" in Revelations 12:10 (NKJV). And yes, I am meeting a Christian psychiatrist on a regular basis.

However, I am now actually anxious about when that moment will come when I'll actually have to share the gospel with others. As a result, I am in a constant unease in my everyday life. Any advice on this? Advice from others are welcome! Thanks Mari17 and ST673 for sharing!

I'm still learning about effective gospel sharing myself, but one thing that I've come to realize as I've gotten older and had more experiences, and have developed a deeper relationship with Christ, is that I actually feel more confident in who I am in Him, and more able to naturally speak about Him. It's hard because of course we have the tendency to want to be perfect even in this, and to know how to witness perfectly and be able to do it perfectly all at once, but as with everything in life, I think it's kind of a process. We just have to keep asking God to grow us in this, and we have to keep doing the best we can in each situation as it arises. It's also helped me to read some books about lifestyle evangelism; for example, Rebecca Pippert's "Out of the Saltshaker and Into the World."