OCD and vows

[Skitsskat]

Throughout my life I've tended to make a number of vows out of no real reason, just a spark of terror could lead me to make some ridiculous vow.
(Vows I'd rather not discuss, they're incredibly ridiculous. ) But I've made so many that they've become to be a real problem, I try to eat something and wonder wether I've made a vow on this certain food and then a thought or fake memory of vowing comes to my mind, it frustrates me so much and gives me bad anxiety. It's taken it's toll on my life and it's complicated to go through a day without wondering if something is permitted or not.

Another problem is that I usually would just look at something and in the back of my mind say "I won't bother with that." And then later on I think that was a vow. I've been praying about it whether or not I should just get rid of these ridiculous vows or not but when I try it just makes me feel incredibly bothered and guilty, even with the vows that weren't vows because then I have to wonder maybe they were vows.
It's a big problem for me because these vows were made just because something itched in the back of my mind telling me to make them and if I don't I'd feel guilty about it.

So, what should I do? Do I keep these vows that had no real purpous other then just ocd related fear? And what about the ones that I don't even think I really made? What if there's a possibility I did make them?
And if I break them how will God feel about it?

 

[Alphadux]

I'm beginning to learn that vows induced by a mental disorder should not be considered binding. You're by no means alone in this. Perhaps you would consider counseling or something.

 

[Skitsskat]

I've been considering it, but I really don't feel comfortable in telling my parents. So searching for help online is my best help right now.
I saw your thread and the comments helped me. :>
After a lot of online hunting I defiantly now know I'm not the only one.

 

[babegirl111]

You are definitely not the only one. I have dealt with the vow things before HEAVY and still sometimes do. I am blessed to have gotten good help from a great therapist and doctor. Sweetie you never know. I was so afraid to tell my parents but they really helped me tremendously. They love you and remember they want the best for you Praying for you!!

 

[followJesus1811]

Yeah, I would say ask the Lord for forgiveness about making ridiculous vows.

He is your heavenly Father who loves you deeply and wants the BEST for you! Jer29:11

Be honest with Him. and try and leave the vows behind. the more you give power to them, the more they will take form you. then you will be living in bondage to them, when really Christ has set you FREE! live in victory through Christ!

When one pops into your head, just think about how silly it is and move on. this is hard to do, we all know it.

 

[Skitsskat]

Thanks so much, all! Your comments really calmed my mind.

 

[Hermit7]

Hi Skit,

I know what you mean. I do the same. Praying for you!

-Hermit

 

[Frankarmendariz]

deleted post

 

[Skitsskat]

Thanks, everyone. I'm trying my best to get better control over this and break the vows that were just made in my head, but I still feel a bad sense of guilt.
I can't help but feel God is angry at me for breaking these things and my mind always has a break down.
It doesn't help that after I had broken a vow that I think I had made ( I thought it was okay because it was one of those times where I just felt like God was angry and edging me on to make a vow so I made it, though without actually using the word vow just "I won't ever do that." And moved on. ) That I had gotten sick and have a bad headache now. That really brings on the anxiety and leads me to believe it was God who made me feel sick/in pain to punish me.
Although I know it's ok to get rid of the vows that were just made in my head and not to God, I still feel like the ones I made because something was troubling me in my heart to make them shouldn't be broken.
Example, I could be on a website and see a picture and decide to save it to my computer because it was just goofy? But my heart feels convicted as though I've done something wrong so I just say " Ok, I'll never look at that picture again." And for life I never see that picture again, or have anything to do with it.

I want to break those ones so much because I just feel like my heart had tricked me into making them and it makes me angry at God because I always think God was the one making me make that vow, and always feel like God's making me keep them too.

Even now I feel guilty for writing this because I just feel like God's angry at me for trying to get out of these vows somehow by getting some kind of good feedback.

 

[OCD COACHING]

God knows your heart. He inderstands you are not accountable for intrusive thoughts.

As long as you focus on your vows your anxiety level will be high, and your OCD will be very powerful. Try focusing on something else when you catch yourself obsessing about your vows.

This will lessen your anxiety and your OCD's power.

Regarding breaking your vows, we have a God of forgiveness. If you stumble, He is there for you. Please remind yourself that you can do nothing that God won't forgive.

Please you God as your partner in fighting you OCD. Pray for strength, guidance and His grace. Now that is something to focus on!

Many Blessings,

Coach John

OCDcoaching.com

 

[Colleen1]

God knows your heart. He inderstands you are not accountable for intrusive thoughts.

As long as you focus on your vows your anxiety level will be high, and your OCD will be very powerful. Try focusing on something else when you catch yourself obsessing about your vows.

This will lessen your anxiety and your OCD's power.

Regarding breaking your vows, we have a God of forgiveness. If you stumble, He is there for you. Please remind yourself that you can do nothing that God won't forgive.

Please you God as your partner in fighting you OCD. Pray for strength, guidance and His grace. Now that is something to focus on!

Many Blessings,

Coach John

OCDcoaching.com

I agree with what you've said. Yes, God is gracious.

 

[Cola Seven]

Romans 8:26-27 - [26]In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. [27]And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God's people inaccordance with the will of God.

Does this apply to vows that we personally make to God in our own head, just as much as it applies to other things that we pray for?

Does this mean that the Holy Spirit will void some of our vows the moment we say them toGod?

 

[peacefulocean]

Here is the best thing someone told me when I was struggling with vows. You must stop following them. Tell God that you are breaking these vows because you want a real relationship with Him, not to follow rituals/vows/anxiety prompted ideas. God wants a real relationship with you. He wants to know you, He wants you to have a full life and these vows are pulling you away from Him and making you focus on something else. Think about how many people you could've introduced to Jesus if you weren't busy worrying about vows. Remember, Jesus kept saying that the Pharisees were doing empty rituals instead of actually helping God's people. Jesus didn't like rules and traditions but was eager to have a relationship with the people. Don't even follow these OCD paths. I know it's hard, but it gets better. Distract yourself with something else when the guilt comes.

 

[Cola Seven]

I'm hoping for someone to give me a second opinion on my post.

Lately I've been having this problem with making vows to God that I don't want to make. I've read things such as "These vows are made by your OCD, not you". But it feels STRONGLY like I'M the one making these vows AS I AM THINKING THEM. Also I'm very confused as to what exactly I did vow, and which vows are real. I have even more complications with vows, too many to mention all at once.

Since making a vow is a type of prayer, does Romans 8:26-27 mean that the Holy Spirit will make some of my vows void?

 

[Zam]

***OCD triggers***

I've got the same thing but much worse. It started with me thinking God wouldn't give me something if I asked for it so I said I would sell my soul for it. The thing happened and I prayed and begged for forgiveness. I made vows or "deals" to try to gain confidence about my forgiveness and let me tell you it's not a good idea. It led me to say out loud " if this happens then it counts as the unpardonable sin, blasphemy of the Holy Spirit, and the mark of the beast and if the thing didn't happen then I would get my soul back from the devil. The thing happened of course and it's been weeks and everytime I find something comforting, I find some scripture that is evidence in screwed. Still not even close to being over it but I just want you to know your defiantly not alone.

 

[Cola Seven]

Zam,

When you talked to God, and said that you would sell your soul, and made your "deals", and said that something counts as the unpardonable sin, maybe the Holy Spirit made those things null.

There is a Bible verse that says that we don't know what to pray for and that the Holy Spirit intercedes for us. Making promises to God is a type of prayer.

Read Romans 8:26-27.

 

[theniceiceman]

Try not to worry too much about them (easier said than done, believe me, I know!). God knows you have a mental illness. OCD makes our minds run rampant and think things we don't want to think or even believe. God knows that.

 

[Cola Seven]

The Bible gives examples of where following through on your own oath to God is a sin:

Judges 11:29-40 -- Jephthah offered his daughter as a burnt sacrifice (Which means that she was killed and slaughtered for this sacrifice like an animal, if you interpret this story literally.).

1 Samuel 14:24-48 -- Saul promised under oath to have his his son Jonathan killed.

1 Samuel 25:1-39 -- David promised under oath to have every male in Nabal's household killed.

Matthew 14:1-12 -- Herod promised under oath to have John the Baptist killed.

Acts 23:12-35 -- More than forty Hebrews promised under oath to not eat anything until they killed Paul.


Since these pop-up vows prevent us from living a productive life, and God wants us to live a productive life, maybe it's a sin to follow through on our vows. I'm not saying this to offend anyone. If it's a sin to follow through on our vows, then we don't need to follow them. Then it's NOT a sin to NOT follow through on our vows.