OCD and PTSD

[lindsey35atl]

Where do you live? How old are you? I'm 35 and I live in Atlanta Georgia.

 

[HighRyzr]

/

 

[Debbie ruth]

I've been tormented a different way the past few weeks. Prior to this I was only having blasphemous thoughts and trying to stop them but all the while I was seeking God. Then I went though a period where things were pretty good except salvation doubts. Since then I've had thoughts pop in that make me question if or how much I actually love God. This of course then spirals into salvation questions which I have daily. Worst of all I had a thought that felt like I "realized" I didn't believe in Jesus which led to me weeping for 30 minutes and asking God to save me. That thought felt so real but it hurt me badly so i'm not sure what to think of it.

I almost flipped out in church while having thoughts that I don't need Jesus and I want to go to hell. Now it seems that as soon as I read or see certain things I immediately twitch or jerk in reaction in fear that. I can't help but think this is from the anxiety and has led to some PTSD. I was so happy to seek God before this but now i'm scared to death.

Almost nightly I have nightmares and wake up every few hours in a panic feeling that i'm unsaved. I just feel hopeless and like I have no purpose and that I don't know how to live. I haven't had a good night of sleep since March or April. I'm finally seeing a psychiatrist on Wednesday but pray that God will show me something.

 

[Debbie ruth]

Dear friend in Christ,
I also suffer from horrendous ocd that began 3 years before I came to faith and has continued on through 3 more years in faith.
It has morphed into religious ocd (which I never had before) and is critical.
I wanted to reach out to you about your approach to faith. Some other worse stuff was happening to me than this and I found that that has eased off once I began to take refuge in the Lord and to trust Him.
Up to then I was having problems believing in salvation. This is not the correct approach. One pastor I saw on you tube said the battle is won or lost in your mind in 10 mins. He is quite right. I would sit thinking maybe I'm not saved, Maybe God is against me and looking for anything to support this in my life.

I've been tormented a different way the past few weeks. Prior to this I was only having blasphemous thoughts and trying to stop them but all the while I was seeking God. Then I went though a period where things were pretty good except salvation doubts. Since then I've had thoughts pop in that make me question if or how much I actually love God. This of course then spirals into salvation questions which I have daily. Worst of all I had a thought that felt like I "realized" I didn't believe in Jesus which led to me weeping for 30 minutes and asking God to save me. That thought felt so real but it hurt me badly so i'm not sure what to think of it.

I almost flipped out in church while having thoughts that I don't need Jesus and I want to go to hell. Now it seems that as soon as I read or see certain things I immediately twitch or jerk in reaction in fear that. I can't help but think this is from the anxiety and has led to some PTSD. I was so happy to seek God before this but now i'm scared to death.

Almost nightly I have nightmares and wake up every few hours in a panic feeling that i'm unsaved. I just feel hopeless and like I have no purpose and that I don't know how to live. I haven't had a good night of sleep since March or April. I'm finally seeing a psychiatrist on Wednesday but pray that God will show me something.

 

[Debbie ruth]

Hi friend in Christ.
I wanted to reach out to you.
I also suffer from horrendous ocd from 3 years prior to faith and 3 years after.
I got in a critical place before the lord and worse than this began to happen to me because I wasn't trusting the lord fully.
It is very important that you win the battle in your mind by changing the way you think. I was sitting thinking maybe the Lord only made me know He exists so that I can watch my end coming knowing I'm going to hell etc. I was thinking maybe the Lord was not for me etc, etc.
This is not useful.
You must push this out of your mind and retrain your approach to Him. Here's an idea how. It sounds impossible, but it is not, I know because I have been forced by my situation to rethink.
Verbally claim Jesus Christ as your salvation. Tell the Lord He is your refuge and strength and shield. Tell Him you claim Him as your salvation and will trust everything to Him - no matter what. Then believe the words you say. Keep repeating them in your mind and out loud. Go on you tube and type in faith Scriptures and play a loop of selected Scriptures confirming faith, and a selection of God's love Scriptures loop around quietly even while you sleep.
Trust the Lord. Say it, I trust you Lord. I believe your promises to me. At first it will be hard but it gets easier.
Request more faith in prayer, request the Holy spirit to show love to you. Thank Him that you are alive, praise Him for your family members who are alive.
Thank Him that He is stronger than the enemy and that He intends to keep you with Him forever.
You MUST believe that He intends to reward you - now with life and after with salvation.

18 But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love, 19 to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine. Psalm 33 18 and 19.NIV.

And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. Hebrews 11:6.NIV.

I wasn't believing that He rewards me and I was suffering terribly.

You must also believe that God keeps His promise to you.

if you continue in your faith, established and firm, and do not move from the hope held out in the gospel. This is the gospel that you heard and that has been proclaimed to every creature under heaven, and of which I, Paul, have become a servant. Colossians 1:23. NIV.

I was in an even worse place than you.
I am making progress, I claim Him as my Lord and God, I trust Him to save my life now until a time of His choosing and I believe that He wants me forever with Him.

He has begun shielding me again, but not from ocd. Ocd is not your choice, the negative repetitive thought patterns about not trusting Him, questioning His plan for you and His goodness in general are.
Those you need to take on.
Do not entertain them. When it begins say out loud, I trust you. I believe you are my salvation.
This will eventually begin to work.
You must believe the hope of salvation, you must believe the Lord rewards you, now.
If you have sinned confess your sins.

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1 : 9. NIV.
After you confess, trust that God keeps His promise to you.

He will never forsake you while you seek him.

Those who know your name trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you. Psalm 9:10. NIV.

Keep coming back to Him, and never forsake Him. Do not be discouraged away from Him.

These people left our churches, but they never really belonged with us; otherwise they would have stayed with us. When they left, it proved that they did not belong with us. 1 John 2 :19.
NLT.

Keep some fellowship, keep praying, earnestly turn your thoughts back to Him.
This could really help you.

And if they do not persist in unbelief, they will be grafted in, for God is able to graft them in again. Romans 11:23. NIV.

I am trying hard, The lord has begun to shield me, and heal me and I was at the edge of something bad. It is very early days yet, but I have begun reaping the benefits. May He ever be praised for His mercy to me in sparing my life.
I wish you all the best.

 

[paul becke]

Just let the thoughts wash over you, HighRyzer. Our heart is the seat of our Will (together with the Memory and Understanding, the faculties of the soul), not our head, not our brain, which is primarily for taking in worldly information to help us to survive in this world of time. We will be judged on our heart and what we set it on.